romance advice

lalafirefly27

I feel like a horrible wife..ok so before me and my hubby got pregnant we were like rabbits sorry if thats tmi and even through the pregnancy still had some fun. After she was born and got the ok from my 6 week checkup that it was fine to have sex again we gave it a try..it was so painful i was in tears! After a few more weeks and couple tries later it didnt hurt anymore but then the problem was im so exausted after work and caring for the baby i just didnt have the energy for it anymore. Now baby is 9 months old and shes not so tiring but i still feel like sex is just another job. : we only have sex about once every 2 weeks. :' its not my husbands fault he tries and he is still hot as ever i just dont have a libido anymore. I need advice and ideas please!

bloverde

You're doing better than me. We've been intimate THREE TIMES since I gave birth 8.5mo ago. It's been really painful each time we tried. Little man is still super high needs, needing to be held all the time, waking every 2hrs to nurse, reflux and milk and soy allergies so no yummy foods for mommy! And I work 70 to 80hrs per week. I'm too exhausted to even think about sex.

bellelamb

Lol once every two weeks that's good for a married couple who works and has a baby!!! Most the guys my husband is friends with that have kids say once a month is normal, every two weeks is good.

It's hard to find the time and energy when raising a family, honestly sometimes a good make out session is all I want or can give dh but then atleast we feel more connected as a couple.

joshandpanda

start slow at first... even if your not in the mood... like bellelamb says, go with a good make out session... go on from there... 

not expecting you to hump like jackrabbits within a week by any means... lol. but yeah.. start slow, then lead into foreplay, then eventually go all out...

if I can offer one thing for advice though... want to have it... don't do it because you feel you have to... if that's the case... you wont get anything out of it (wink wink) and it would just be a waste...  put the baby to bed, clear your thoughts, surprise your husband and go clean up, then lure him into the room... and yeah... Ill let the rest go to imagination

Hope things start to get better! 

ETA: like in my case this morning... I WANTED it so bad, but Kyler was drinking his bottle right next to me on the bed, so obviously nothing was going to happen... well, I picked him up, put him in his crib to finish eating... husband came in and saw what I did, and knew what that meant  

Dwinalsinlove

I don't have much advise for you because we are in the same situation. I'm just so exhausted by the end of the day by the time I sit down I normally pass out. I know for me I just need to make sex more of a priority. Once we are doing the deed I'm wondering why we don't do this more often. I just have a hard time finding the energy to kick start things.

 I know for me what helps is I make sex with DH a priority for a day. I pick a day and say tonight I'm not going to fall asleep. Sometimes I'll even send DH a naughty text sometime during the day. I make it a priority for that day and then I am less likely to fall asleep. I know it isn't very spontaneous but planned sex is better then no sex.

MrsH11710

Dwinalsinlove:

I don't have much advise for you because we are in the same situation. I'm just so exhausted by the end of the day by the time I sit down I normally pass out. I know for me I just need to make sex more of a priority. Once we are doing the deed I'm wondering why we don't do this more often. I just have a hard time finding the energy to kick start things.

 I know for me what helps is I make sex with DH a priority for a day. I pick a day and say tonight I'm not going to fall asleep. Sometimes I'll even send DH a naughty text sometime during the day. I make it a priority for that day and then I am less likely to fall asleep. I know it isn't very spontaneous but planned sex is better then no sex.

Same for me! Sex seems like another chore sometimes, unfortunately. But once I'm in the moment and realizing how happy my DH is and how fun it is, I wonder why I don't do it more often. Make it a priority and find the enjoyment in it and things should get better. But don't beat yourself up if things don't work out (baby wakes up, etc) just keep trying.