Hi, need some support please :-)

hoping4more

I have been around this board off and on a few times over the past few years. I was a foster parent and had also had a failed adoption & another child I was likely getting guardianship of whom we lost. 

We had a baby in November born through a traditional surrogate. My husband is the biological father and the surrogate is the biological mother. Here in my province, regardless of biology (so even if it was my egg) the person giving birth is the legal mother. So therefore my surrogate is legally the mother and my husband is on the birth certificate as legal father. 

Baby came home with us and is doing great! My surrogate is also my best friend (was prior to carrying our daughter too) and has been great. We went and did our paper work on Dec. 13th and in my province my surrogate had 10 days to change her mind. This was up on Christmas Day and it was the most precious
Christmas gift I could ever ask for.

I submitted the adoption file in early January and got it back in the mail. There are a number of missed things and corrections. One correction needing to be made is on the sheet that she signed up her rights. Until the adoption goes through I become a guardian as well and all 3 of us share guardianship. This form, however, needs to be redone. I am thinking we cannot back date it so the 10 days will start again. The neat thing is they will be up again on family day. (A holiday here)

I am not really scared that she will change her mind in those 10 days, I am just frustrated as this does not seem fair to me. Why should there be 2x 10 day waiting periods? I am frustrated that due to having to redo paper work we are having to wait even longer to be finalized. I am frustrated that we sat down with the child & family adoption worker to do all this paper work & it is still wrong! I know in the end this will all work out, and I am eternally grateful for my daughter. I just needed to write out my frustration and seek support from ladies who just may understand. :-) Thanks!

IRR

That is very frustrating.  Sorry you have to deal with this.  Since your surrogate is your best friend, just wondering why she wouldn't feel your frustration as well.  She has given you such a wonderful gift and I am sure she wants this all settled too.  You shouldn't have to do two 10 day waiting periods.  It really is NOT fair.  Do you know who guided you incorrectly with the paperwork?  Can you speak with them and let them know they handled this poorly and you never want another couple to have to face this?  It may make you feel a little bit better.  Hang in there. In the scheme of things, this will pass.  GL, and please post more often!

hoping4more

Thank you for your reply!

Yes, I do believe she feels and shares in my frustration. She just wants me to be legal and happy. We showed up for our 12:30 appointment only to have that worker have forgotten about us! We were able to get another adoption worker to help us and everything is now done but we were NOT able to get it back dated or anything and have no choice but to wait those 10 days. It upsets me but such is life. 

If for some unthinkable reason my surrogate goes back and changes her mind now I would take her to court and protest that these 10 days do not count and her rights were up after the original 10 days. Like I said, that wont happen, it just is frustrating to have more delays, etc.  

irismorning

I am so sorry, that sounds so frustrating! I also had several hiccups where people who were supposed to know what they were doing caused unusually long delays by doing things incorrectly. I had to just keep telling myself that this too shall pass and it will all be worth it.

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potatohead

I'm so sorry it is taking longer than anticipated.  I hope it resolves itself soon.  Hugs.