WWTPRD

Lacyj67

So I work in a salon with a woman who just did IVF number two and was successful with her OE. They had Sperm issues which were easy to overcome with IVF I guess. I asked her yesterday if she had any frozen embryos left and she said she had one. They are done having children and have decided to discard the last embryo after giving birth from this current pregnancy. When she said that to me it really stung and I know she didn't realize how I was feeling after but I so wanted to say something like... How could you just discard it knowing so many women out there would practically die to have a awesome quality embryo!!! I want to tell her just donate it anonymously let another woman have a chance but its so not my place to say that right!!! Ugggh it's bugging me and I know it's a bit of jealousy inside and they have every right to chose what to do with it but all I see is selfishness. There should be some way to get through to women out there who have no problems going through IVF and producing mass amounts of eggs and embryos to share with the less fortunate!!! Ok that was my little vent! Sorry if I sound craycray

BabyVDM

I think the decision to donate your embryo is a very personal one and one which no one can or should be pressured into. It may be that her DH is not comfortable with it, or maybe she's not.  But she shouldn't have to justify it. 

However, maybe she just doesn't know that it's even a possiblity and/or if she did how to go about it.  Maybe she isn't aware that there is the option to donate anonymously.  I knew it was possible to find DE and DS but I had no idea that DEmbryo was a viable option until I came to the third party board. 

So maybe it never occured to her that she could be helping other women.  But then again, maybe it did.

Lacyj67

Very true I don't think it's my place to educate her on anything and Shes totally entitled to her choice. I know how hard it woild be to donate one of my embryos but now in the position I'm in i realize what a amazing gift it would be. although i wouldnt want to know where or who it was going to.I wish RE offices would educate more women on embryo donation process and I think some women don't know what it's like to not have eggs so they don't feel our pain.

Mama-Bear

If she brought it up again, I could see casually asking her if she and her DH had thought about donation/embie adoption.  While DH and I never experience fertility issues ourselves, I agree completely that it would be a wonderful opportunity to another family and give that embie a chance (but DH and I are "life begins at conception" believers so I know not everyone shares our views. 

If she says something along the lines of "it wasn't right for us" I would drop it and not bring it up again.  If she says something like "I didn't know you could do that" then I'd talk if she asked any questions.

stinkerbell6879

My SIL has between 7-9 embies left and I just causually metioned it, because they have twins already, and I think they will only try for one more later down the road. I understand everyone has there own feelings on the matter, but nothing wrong with asking in such away that is not telling them what they should do.

liz4paws

I agree, it's definitely a personal decision. But it does hurt my heart when I hear someone wants to just destroy them. I just can't help it. I've fallen in love with our donated embryos. They have changed our life. Lots of people aren't educated on their options or realize what an enormous impact it makes on a recipients life. Some do, and they still chose not to donate. I'm already a huge advocate for embryo donation/adoption (as you can imagine) but I have to applaud you for at least trying to help educate her. I think that's the biggest gap in our society with not being more open to donate - most don't even know about it! kudos to you for trying.