Bedsharing + pets (PIP)

Runaway22

I am due in less than 2 weeks with my first. I decided to bedshare, but plan on using the Summer Infant co sleeper while the baby is most fragile. 

I have a kitty who is very affectionate and insists on sleeping with me every night. She usually sleeps by my head, but will sometimes sleep under the blankets with me or by my feet. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with bedsharing with both a pet and a baby, and had any insight they'd like to share. I don't want to kick her off the bed entirely, as I think she'll probably stick to the opposite side of me than the baby, but I totally will if it ends up being unsafe for the baby. I figure I won't really know until I'm in the middle of it.

I brought the co sleeper home today, and caught my kitty claiming it already. I thought it was cute, so I wanted to share :P

 

(hopefully the pic worked!) 

KateLouise

Cats smothering babies are one of the things I'm super paranoid about (I don't know why)

I wouldn't have a cat anywhere near my sleeping baby. I wouldn't allow a cat to
"claim" any aspect of my baby's bed.

My dogs used to sleep on my bed but once LO started sleeping in my bed then they got kicked off. Once LO was old enough to get out of her own bed and come and find us in the middle of the night/early morning (around 18mths) then the dogs slept outside because I didn't want LO to stumble over and startle a sleeping dog and get snapped at.

Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority. 

So yeah I guess I'm pretty hardline about pets and babies. I don't know what the "safe" rule is, but my experience with cats is that they tend to curl up and do what they want. When you have a baby you'll be tired and you won't want to lose precious sleep making sure the cat is where it's meant to be. A soft snuggly baby will be a huge temptation for a cat. 

Runaway22

"Claiming" the baby bed is definitely just a joke, because she showed such interest and curiosity when I first brought it back. The co sleeper will NOT double as a cat bed - now or later. (Original post had poor wording...)

I agree 1000% about kids taking priority over pets. No question about that at all. Honestly, I will probably end up kicking the cat out of the bed... I was just wondering what others' experiences have been. 

Thank you for your input / insight - I really appreciate it!  

ldpm

I have always had pets whrn I had my daughter ten years ago, I had several cats in my home. None of them caused any problems with bedsharing or any other part of infant, toddler, or child care. My daughter is.now ten and has her own cat I still have one of my old cats left I am expecting again. My old cat is doing the exact same thing he did ten years ago as a youngster he has already gotten "possessive" over me, meaning he is constantly attached to me. Fir the record, once my daughter was born all the cats were curious, but not one harmed her, and they still ofteb ebded up sleeping on or near me. I have a photo of myself nursing laying down while watching tv all four of my cats then were sleeping or laying all around me my baby daughter. The old cat I have stopped liking my daughter once she got to the grabbing stage, but his response was to stay away from her. He still stays away from her.

As a former veterinary technician, I would say that pets rarely cause an issue, and cats "smothering" an infant is a myth from the good old witch hunting days. You know your pets so you need to assess for signs of aggression that might pose a problem. Make sure the pets are vetted do not have worms some worms can affect humans, most often small children. If there are behavior issues like aggression, make a decision if yoy can find a behaviorist I do not recommend an animal trainer, including fir dogs. While a dog needs to know basic commands, trainers are not qualified ti deal with behavior problems can make problems worse or if you want to risk the oet around a baby that squeals, wiggles, and grabs. If you are not having a homebirth then make sure someone comes home with smelly baby stuff before mom baby show up to get the pet used to baby smells diaper, blanket or shirt that was used not yet washed do.not ignore your pet.

kdjudd

I bought the same co-sleeper, but never ended up using it for my daughter. It took up way too much room in our bed. My LO just sleeps right next to me. Honestly, my cat wanted nothing to do with my daughter for a long time. I think she was kind of creeped out. Now that my daughter is 8 months old though she loves her. They snuggle together and my daughter loves petting her! 

 Your cat certainly won't smother your daughter, but with a cat and a baby you will have very limited space in your bed. I'd just kick the cat out. That's what we had to do. We all take naps together when DH is at work, but during the night the cat sleeps on the couch so we have more room. 

CalinsBride

SouthSideDrea:

KateLouise:

Cats smothering babies are one of the things I'm super paranoid about (I don't know why)

I wouldn't have a cat anywhere near my sleeping baby. I wouldn't allow a cat to
"claim" any aspect of my baby's bed.

My dogs used to sleep on my bed but once LO started sleeping in my bed then they got kicked off. Once LO was old enough to get out of her own bed and come and find us in the middle of the night/early morning (around 18mths) then the dogs slept outside because I didn't want LO to stumble over and startle a sleeping dog and get snapped at.

Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority. 

So yeah I guess I'm pretty hardline about pets and babies. I don't know what the "safe" rule is, but my experience with cats is that they tend to curl up and do what they want. When you have a baby you'll be tired and you won't want to lose precious sleep making sure the cat is where it's meant to be. A soft snuggly baby will be a huge temptation for a cat. 

I'm going to just give this a big old eye roll for pure sanctimoniousness. The cat most likely wont want anything to do with the baby for a long time. Our cats were mildly curious when we brought baby home and then ignored him for a year and a half. IF and that's a big huge IF the cat actually tries to sleep with the baby OP will obviously give kitty the boot. Give me a freaking break.

That was rude.

I would not have an animal in my bed with my baby, period.  

BrittanyDoesDerby

Our big, fat cat sleeps in bed with us at night. She never lays on the baby and she is even careful not to step on her when she walks across the bed (she doesn't pay that same respect to me, haha).

Anecdotal evidence, I know... But I'm pretty sure she knows that the baby is a baby and helpless, she went into "mama cat" mode as soon as LO came home. She meows at us if the baby is crying. Our other cat doesn't come near our bed since we started bed-sharing and is pretty indifferent to the baby. I'm not worried at all about it at all.  

 If you're worried about it, don't put the baby in your bed or lock the kitty out. Not that big of a deal. Don't be condescending.  

nosoup4u

kdjudd:

I bought the same co-sleeper, but never ended up using it for my daughter. It took up way too much room in our bed. My LO just sleeps right next to me. Honestly, my cat wanted nothing to do with my daughter for a long time. I think she was kind of creeped out. Now that my daughter is 8 months old though she loves her. They snuggle together and my daughter loves petting her! 

We bought it too, and I ended up throwing it across the room the only night we used it, hee hee hee. Hated it!

OP - do what you're comfortable with. I would probably wait and see what the cat does, but I think I lean toward waiting until the baby is bigger to let the cat back in. My cat sleeps by our feet anymore, but even a few years ago she'd wake us up, looking for love at like 3 am, which just doesn't fly when I have a kid waking me up, too.  

JayandEmm

When we first started bedsharing, the dogs and the cat stayed at the foot of the bed. They wanted nothing to do with being close to ds. Now that they're used to it, the cat sleeps around ds' feet [our cat likes being kicked...], she's never gotten in his face [awake or asleep]. And the dogs sleep wherever. If ds moves around too much, they move to the foot of the bed.

Ds is 5.5 months old now, when we started bedsharing he was 2.5 months.

LoveMyA

We close our door at night just to be safe. (We have 2 cats). Sometimes when DD is napping and I'm just laying in bed with her I'll keep the door open and they don't bother with her too much but they are always getting into shiit which wakes her up and they like to steal her soother if its laying around and destroy it. Also my one kitty has stepped on her instead of walking over or around her once. 

 

boogerbearoriginal

My cats thought we set up the nursery just for them initially, and would lay on the changing table, in the crib, etc. So cats in particular can find baby even if you don't bedshare. Of course, we never used the crib, but that's not important here.

After LO arrived, the cats never laid on the baby stuff again. And left him alone for a long time. I think they were kind of pissed we brought another "animal" home lol.

Now they all get along fine. So, I've never worried about them laying on LO.  Ditto PP that the whole cat smothering baby thing is an urban legend.

If you're concerned you can always kick the cat out, and shut the door.

jecanty

Before LO was born, the cat slept in the bed with DH and I every single night. When I brought the baby home, the cat wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with him at all. She would run away is LO was anywhere near her for about the first three months. It was only just recently that she will stay in a room with him, and, on the two occasions that she did sleep on the bed, it was at the foot of the bed on the complete opposite side of where the baby is. I wouldn't worry too much about it. See how your cat does and if it even becomes a problem.

[Deleted User]

Our cats sleep at the foot of the bed when DS is in bed. They don't want anything to do with him. They're still snuggly with us when he's not in bed. We never had to kick them out.

[Deleted User]

P.S. that pic is cute! Looks like a cat bed to me. :]

Runaway22

rocknrollfriend:

P.S. that pic is cute! Looks like a cat bed to me. :]

Haha, thanks! I thought so :P

Thanks to everyone else who shared their experiences with this. You've all been very helpful. I'll be figuring it out for myself in a couple of weeks... or less!  

DCMerged

Booger+Bear:

My cats thought we set up the nursery just for them initially, and would lay on the changing table, in the crib, etc. So cats in particular can find baby even if you don't bedshare. Of course, we never used the crib, but that's not important here.

After LO arrived, the cats never laid on the baby stuff again. And left him alone for a long time. I think they were kind of pissed we brought another "animal" home lol.

Now they all get along fine. So, I've never worried about them laying on LO.  Ditto PP that the whole cat smothering baby thing is an urban legend.

If you're concerned you can always kick the cat out, and shut the door.

Same with us! Our cats thought the co-sleeper and crib were their new beds but didn't get in them once our baby slept in them. When we bedshared, even though our cats slept with us before, they also didn't get in the bed when the baby was there. If you know cats, if you prohibit them from doing something, they just want to do it more. I couldn't shut the door to our bedroom or they would just bang on it all night:)

gnomemom

My cat tried to claim all of the babies things...we caught her in the crib, changing pad, RnP, car seat, and bouncer. Once the baby was born, the cat decided she didn't like the way baby smelled and hasn't been in any of his stuff since.

You can put down aluminum foil over some of the baby's things that the cat likes to get into. Cats hate the way it feels under their paws and will quickly learn to avoid them.

As far as the cats bedsharing with you, I have no advice. I couldn't stand to have my 20 lb. cat crawling on me when I was pregnant and I've already broken him of the habit of coming up further than the foot of the bed. GL!

Emerald27

We have 2 cats, and neither one has slept in our room since DS was born...but this is their choice. The cats avoid and ignore DS.

I don't see why a cat can't sleep on the bed with your family, but I wouldn't let the cat sleep next to baby, if in fact your cat is brave and interested.

The few times that either of our cats have dared to sleep on the bed since DS was born have been on or next to DH or at our feet. Harmless, IMHO.

ETA: We also let our cats explore the baby gear in advance so that they would lose interest when DS arrived. Looks like you've got that covered!

Emerald27

As you can see, our cats love baby stuff...as long as DS isn't around:

starshineamator

I'm a FTM too and I've done a lot of research on this, because we have three cats, two of which sleep with us every night. I don't want make the transition any harder on them than it already will be (I'm stocking up on Feliway just in case!) and I've been wondering about what will happen and what to do. From what I've read, cats tend to stay away from newborns because of the newborn reflexes - they twitch a lot in their sleep, and cats don't like unpredictable movements like that. 

My plan is to just take it one step at a time. If we are all in the same bed, I'm certainly going to be aware of the presence of the cats AND the baby- I already am aware of where the cats are in the bed and stop them from stepping on the other cats, me, and Spouse while we are trying to sleep, so I don't think it would be any more difficult with a baby added to the mix. I'm sure that we'll all be hyper-aware and more sensitive than normal too. If I need to kick them out I will- I do that already when they are fighting on the bed or stepping on pillows, etc. 

Runaway22

Emerald27:

As you can see, our cats love baby stuff...as long as DS isn't around:

Ahh, that's cute   

Runaway22

starshineamator:

I'm a FTM too and I've done a lot of research on this, because we have three cats, two of which sleep with us every night. I don't want make the transition any harder on them than it already will be (I'm stocking up on Feliway just in case!) and I've been wondering about what will happen and what to do. From what I've read, cats tend to stay away from newborns because of the newborn reflexes - they twitch a lot in their sleep, and cats don't like unpredictable movements like that. 

My plan is to just take it one step at a time. If we are all in the same bed, I'm certainly going to be aware of the presence of the cats AND the baby- I already am aware of where the cats are in the bed and stop them from stepping on the other cats, me, and Spouse while we are trying to sleep, so I don't think it would be any more difficult with a baby added to the mix. I'm sure that we'll all be hyper-aware and more sensitive than normal too. If I need to kick them out I will- I do that already when they are fighting on the bed or stepping on pillows, etc. 

See, this is where I am in this. I won't really know if it's a problem until I see how everybody gets along. 

Natasha717

We've been bed sharing since my son was about 1 month old. Before my son was born, my cat always slept near or ON my head. This was not okay once DS was born. We stopped letting her do that about one month before my due date. We closed our bedroom door at night and naps because I was afraid she would try to sleep with him because she is very affectionate. DS is almost 17 months old and our cat has been allowed back in the bedroom for a few months now. Sure enough, she's crazy about sleeping next to him. A few mornings ago, I woke up and found her snuggled next to his head. Now the logical side of me thinks he is old enough, but she's back out of the bedroom. Long story short, bed sharing with a pet and a baby can be very dangerous for a baby, depending on the pet.

KateLouise

SouthSideDrea:

CalinsBride:

SouthSideDrea:

KateLouise:

Cats smothering babies are one of the things I'm super paranoid about (I don't know why)

I wouldn't have a cat anywhere near my sleeping baby. I wouldn't allow a cat to
"claim" any aspect of my baby's bed.

My dogs used to sleep on my bed but once LO started sleeping in my bed then they got kicked off. Once LO was old enough to get out of her own bed and come and find us in the middle of the night/early morning (around 18mths) then the dogs slept outside because I didn't want LO to stumble over and startle a sleeping dog and get snapped at.

Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority. 

So yeah I guess I'm pretty hardline about pets and babies. I don't know what the "safe" rule is, but my experience with cats is that they tend to curl up and do what they want. When you have a baby you'll be tired and you won't want to lose precious sleep making sure the cat is where it's meant to be. A soft snuggly baby will be a huge temptation for a cat. 

I'm going to just give this a big old eye roll for pure sanctimoniousness. The cat most likely wont want anything to do with the baby for a long time. Our cats were mildly curious when we brought baby home and then ignored him for a year and a half. IF and that's a big huge IF the cat actually tries to sleep with the baby OP will obviously give kitty the boot. Give me a freaking break.

That was rude.

I would not have an animal in my bed with my baby, period.  

It was meant to be a little rude. OP was sharing a cute dumb pic of her cat and she got a lecture from the sanctimommies. It's also rude to point out when someon is being rude, so I guess we're both offenders. I'm cool with that. You?

Sanctimonious? If you say so. I thought I made it pretty clear that I have my own paranoia around cats and that I really have no foundation for my paranoia.

So I don't really have a great basis for a moral high-ground...but then that wasn't really my aim...

I can see how  "Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority." seems a bit snotty which really wasn't my intention more just a reaction to the OPs statement that she doesn't want to kick her cat off the bed, when I couldn't care less about kicking my dogs off. (disclaimer, I in no way think that makes me a superior mother...although possibly it makes a careless pet owner).

The rest though is really just me saying what I would and wouldn't do, and what I have done with my own dogs based on my own worries. Not sure what you'd have had me write about instead when the OP specifically asked about people's experiences with their pets. shrug.

 

 

twocents6708

We have three cats, two of whom used to sleep with us prior to baby. Our fat male cat did and still does laying in anything including the changing table, bassinet, crib, and even the high chair. We have to be very cautious about keeping doors shut in whatever room DD is sleeping in. When she was about 3 months old, I laid her down in her crib for a nap and accidentally did not latch the door. I walked in a few minutes later to see him laying next to her in the crib. He wasn't snuggled next to her but it was still too close for my comfort. Now that she is bigger, he loves to lay in my lap with DD so I am still very careful with sleeping arrangements. The other female cats don't care to get near her so it has never been a concern for them. It seems to be something that is dependent on the pet but I tend to err on the side of caution. In short kick the cat out of bed until you are how he will react. Once your LO is bigger, it won't be as big of a deal.

LoveMyA

KateLouise:

SouthSideDrea:

CalinsBride:

SouthSideDrea:

KateLouise:

Cats smothering babies are one of the things I'm super paranoid about (I don't know why)

I wouldn't have a cat anywhere near my sleeping baby. I wouldn't allow a cat to
"claim" any aspect of my baby's bed.

My dogs used to sleep on my bed but once LO started sleeping in my bed then they got kicked off. Once LO was old enough to get out of her own bed and come and find us in the middle of the night/early morning (around 18mths) then the dogs slept outside because I didn't want LO to stumble over and startle a sleeping dog and get snapped at.

Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority. 

So yeah I guess I'm pretty hardline about pets and babies. I don't know what the "safe" rule is, but my experience with cats is that they tend to curl up and do what they want. When you have a baby you'll be tired and you won't want to lose precious sleep making sure the cat is where it's meant to be. A soft snuggly baby will be a huge temptation for a cat. 

I'm going to just give this a big old eye roll for pure sanctimoniousness. The cat most likely wont want anything to do with the baby for a long time. Our cats were mildly curious when we brought baby home and then ignored him for a year and a half. IF and that's a big huge IF the cat actually tries to sleep with the baby OP will obviously give kitty the boot. Give me a freaking break.

That was rude.

I would not have an animal in my bed with my baby, period.  

It was meant to be a little rude. OP was sharing a cute dumb pic of her cat and she got a lecture from the sanctimommies. It's also rude to point out when someon is being rude, so I guess we're both offenders. I'm cool with that. You?

Sanctimonious? If you say so. I thought I made it pretty clear that I have my own paranoia around cats and that I really have no foundation for my paranoia.

So I don't really have a great basis for a moral high-ground...but then that wasn't really my aim...

I can see how  "Pets are all very well and nice, but kids take priority." seems a bit snotty which really wasn't my intention more just a reaction to the OPs statement that she doesn't want to kick her cat off the bed, when I couldn't care less about kicking my dogs off. (disclaimer, I in no way think that makes me a superior mother...although possibly it makes a careless pet owner).

The rest though is really just me saying what I would and wouldn't do, and what I have done with my own dogs based on my own worries. Not sure what you'd have had me write about instead when the OP specifically asked about people's experiences with their pets. shrug.

 

 

FWIW I didn't get a sanctimonious vibe at all. I think the OP meant the cat was claiming the bed as a joke and KL's comment about not allowing the cat to claim any aspect of the baby's bed is a little funny considering cats will investigate and sleep just about anywhere they dammn well please,cause they're cats. But I didn't get sanctimonious from her.

Also I don't think anyone can say that a cat won't smother a baby. True a lot of cats are probably fine because they might not be the type that wants anything to do with LO. But all cats are different, they all have different personalities and you never know with some. I personally would rather be safe than sorry, and I don't think it's wrong to say that.