Fostering/Adopting

starspangledgirl1

Anyone ever thought about fostering or adopting while waiting for your BFP? My DS is 8 now and is very lonely and the guilt of this is killing me.....its taking so long....naturally i wouldnt be doing it just for him but to add to our family. we had planned on adopting for # 3 anyway, after I get preg but thought about doing it now. thoughts? 

ceebeetee

I used to work for child protective services and worked with foster parent/kids all the time. I will only say it is a HARD thing to be a foster parent.  Its a great thing but a hard thing, and it takes a LOT of work.  Chances are you will get older kids, unless you are specifically wanting to foster to adopt a younger one, but situations with a younger kid/baby on a foster to adopt path are not as common, at least in my experience.  Also, if you did want an older child and ended up fostering one with plans to adopt (or even end up finalizing an adoption) and then you get pregnant, that child may have a lot of mixed feelings about you replacing him/her or them not being enough for you, etc. etc.  of course it could all work out perfectly, but foster children tend to have lots of emotional baggage and really need a sense of security and stability during their first years with a family.  If it was me I would wait until you do have another baby or come to the end of your ttc path.  I am not trying to be harsh or dissuade you, just give you some info from a foster child's perspective.  But, a good place to start would be talking with your local child services agency or a foster parent agency to get more information and see what they think.  Good luck to you! 

 

CeCe8579

My SO doesn't have any children so he wants to try for one first. He is not to open to adoption at this point but we are fairly early in the game so if we can't conceive, he may change his mind. I would love to foster but the thought of getting attached to a child and them getting adopted by another family scares me! In this area fostering would be older children as well.

kofmkg

I would love to foster kids, but I worry that my heart is too big to give them up if we aren't adopting.