Feeling Detached

akraxner

Four weeks ago I started working as a supervisor in my department.  Since then I have been working a dual role because they haven't filled my old position yet.  Since then I have started feeling disconnected or detached from my pregnancy and its starting to make me feel like a terrible mom-to-be. I'm just so stressed out at work and I'm working long hours, so I haven't really had time to think about it much.  When I realize that I have 68 days left til my due date I just start panicking because I have too much to do at work...not to mention all the baby stuff.  I hate it.  I know that if anything was to happen to my baby I would be absolutely devastated, and I can't wait to meet him her.  I just thought that by this point my excitement would increase each day, instead of feeling further and further from everything.  I think its mostly related to work, but I was just wondering if anyone else is going through similar feelings?  I also have depression and anxiety which I have not been taking medications for since I've been pregnant.  Maybe that's kicking up again too.  Please tell me I'm not alone in this, and that it doesn't make me a terrible mom. 

farmerpinky

You're not alone. I tend to withdraw when I get super stressed.  I channel all my energy into things I can control just to keep myself stable. 

Since I can't do x to ensure that lo's lungs mature, I focus on  the things I can. I have been working a ton because we are understaffed and I have done NOTHING to prep for baby. 

I go through most of the day not noticing movement. I have work and then my older children to attend to. The time right before I slip into unconsciousness is when baby and I have our moment.  

 I don't think it makes anyone bad, it just is we are at this point in time.  LO will be here soon and I'm sure everything will be fine for you. Chin up.

dmbaf69

My friend had depression before and during her pregnancy and felt very detached. You're not a bad mom and it's really good that you recognize what is going on. I know in our area (Chicago) there are free support groups for this kind of situation, so maybe thats an avenue you should explore.

jacmahan

Hey mama, I too suffer from depression and anxiety and am on medication for it which I've been able to wean myself off of slowly as the years have passed.  I thought I would be able to go off of it completely when I became pregnant because I was on a rather low dose at that point anyhow, but when I did my little world felt like it unraveled.  It's not just the hormones that are wreaking havoc, it's the momentous act of being pregnant, and prepping for baby's arrival...and all of the NORMAL anxieties that come along with that in the best of cases. 

Every doctor I have spoken to since has said that they would never recommend a woman stopping her medications for anxiety/depression upon becoming pregnant, the effects they may or may not have on your baby are nothing compared to what it could do to you.  Hang in there, talk to someone about what's going on, PM me if you want - I'll listen!  And remember: You're normal and you're going to be an incredible mother!

love4b

I don't have a history of depression or anxiety, but I have felt detached throughout my pregnancy. I had two miscarriages before getting pregnant and I think that in the beginning, it was a protection thing - like I shouldn't get too attached in case I loose this one too.

Now I'm 30.5 weeks and still not feeling 'over the moon in love' with this baby. I think it's amazing when he or she moves and am in awe of the fact that there is a person growing inside me, but the truth is that I don't know this person yet, and it's hard to be head over heels in love with a person you don't know. I think that's a totally normal way to feel. I am also 100 percent sure that the minute I meet my baby, I'm going to be a pile of mush and completely in love. Or not, maybe it'll take a day or two, who knows?

Love isn't something that happens on a schedule. Take a deep breath, don't worry, don't judge yourself and know that your heart is huge and able to hold everything and anything that happens. The fact that you're even concerned enough to ask about this speaks volumes about the kind of mom you're gonna be. You're going to be great.

jackie9480

I dont have a issue w/ depression either but I know w/ this pregnancy I feel detached a little as well.  Just busy w/ work & a kid at home.  I dont think even w/ my 1st a real attachment set in for me till after I had her and we had time to be alone holding her. 

DONT judge yourself or stress yourself.  And as far as getting things ready for baby I learned that as long as you have diapers and wipes  and a few bottles (if needed) that is really all that baby really needs/uses in those first few weeks.  And I totally agree w/ PP the fact that you are worrying says how much you care and will be a WONDERFUL parent!