having a baby with a guy who's in a relationship...

jsolie

Hi I'm pregnant and if I keep the baby I don't really know what will happen, the father is getting married in two months and I feel like maybe I have to make a final decision before that and it just scares me... I don't really want the baby to have this girl as a step mother before it's even born and it makes me feel kinda like maybe I should get an abortion instead and not tell him, or maybe tell him anyways....  I am really confused right now.

shabamwam

That sounds really tough. The only advice I can give is choose what you want. This is your life and your baby.

Does she know? If not you may be doing her a favor by telling her.

mimimimimiiii

First thing you need to do is to tell him and see what is his reactions. Having a baby is a joyful thing and the best gift of God. After the baby is born and you will realize that is so worth it. You can just file the CS from him. Don't worry about that girl yet, the most important is to sort thing out with this guy. Think about it carefully before you make any decision.

My BD left me 2 months later after I dropped the pregnancy bomb to him. He told me that he doesn't want to get involved. I'm doing everything by myself and so far I'm not regret of everything happened. Although sometimes I would get depressed or sad about it, but I believe I will get over it eventually and there will be a right person for me in the future.

Be strong and good luck with that  

jsolie

shabamwam:

That sounds really tough. The only advice I can give is choose what you want. This is your life and your baby.

Does she know? If not you may be doing her a favor by telling her.

well it was a one time thing and I don't know if he even remembers having sex because we were so very drunk. it was a total mistake and i would definitely take it back if i could. i don't want one drunken mistake ruining his relationship just because i got pregnant.

ChristyPells

jsolie:

shabamwam:

That sounds really tough. The only advice I can give is choose what you want. This is your life and your baby.

Does she know? If not you may be doing her a favor by telling her.

well it was a one time thing and I don't know if he even remembers having sex because we were so very drunk. it was a total mistake and i would definitely take it back if i could. i don't want one drunken mistake ruining his relationship just because i got pregnant.

He CHEATED and she is marrying him not knowing that. My soon to be ex husband cheated i had no clue. Less than a year into our marriage he did it again now i am having our first child while going through a divorce. I am devastated would have NEVER married him if i had known

mel1987

jsolie:

shabamwam:

That sounds really tough. The only advice I can give is choose what you want. This is your life and your baby.

Does she know? If not you may be doing her a favor by telling her.

 i don't want one drunken mistake ruining his relationship just because i got pregnant.

Don't put this all on yourself! It takes two. and he was the one more in the wrong. You're worried about ruining his relationship? Aren't you worried about how your life is about to change forever? I doubt he cares, so why do you care so much about him. Do this for you. Don't get an abortion for his sake, you will probably regret it. Be strong! 

jsolie

ChristyPells:

jsolie:

shabamwam:

That sounds really tough. The only advice I can give is choose what you want. This is your life and your baby.

Does she know? If not you may be doing her a favor by telling her.

well it was a one time thing and I don't know if he even remembers having sex because we were so very drunk. it was a total mistake and i would definitely take it back if i could. i don't want one drunken mistake ruining his relationship just because i got pregnant.

He CHEATED and she is marrying him not knowing that. My soon to be ex husband cheated i had no clue. Less than a year into our marriage he did it again now i am having our first child while going through a divorce. I am devastated would have NEVER married him if i had known

well maybe I'll tell her but only if I stay pregnant and he refuses to.

utahbaby

Bottom line: do not take his or her feelings into consideration on this matter. You have to decide what is best for YOUR life. If you make this decision based on anyone else, you may regret it later, either way. Take everything else out of the equation and decide if YOU want to have this child.

shabamwam

It really seems like your holding alot of blame on yourself. Try not to, its not your fault.

thefarmchick

You got drunk and had sex. It's not your responsibility that he was in a relationship. Nor is it your responsibility how he deals with the consequences.

Tell him about the baby, it's his problem how to deal with the Fiance and what will happen,  That part has nothing to do with you.

You can choose do it on your own or you can look into adoption. Don't just have an abortion because you don't want to deal with the consequences, it's not the babies fault and it's not yours either.

~I don't mean for that to sound abrasive, but it sounds like your putting a lot of blame and pressure on yourself and your definitively shouldn't.

jsolie

thefarmchick:

You got drunk and had sex. It's not your responsibility that he was in a relationship. Nor is it your responsibility how he deals with the consequences.

Tell him about the baby, it's his problem how to deal with the Fiance and what will happen,  That part has nothing to do with you.

You can choose do it on your own or you can look into adoption. Don't just have an abortion because you don't want to deal with the consequences, it's not the babies fault and it's not yours either.

~I don't mean for that to sound abrasive, but it sounds like your putting a lot of blame and pressure on yourself and your definitively shouldn't.

I had sex with this chick's fiance. that's really bad in itself. I really fucked up. 

 

mel1987

jsolie:

thefarmchick:

You got drunk and had sex. It's not your responsibility that he was in a relationship. Nor is it your responsibility how he deals with the consequences.

Tell him about the baby, it's his problem how to deal with the Fiance and what will happen,  That part has nothing to do with you.

You can choose do it on your own or you can look into adoption. Don't just have an abortion because you don't want to deal with the consequences, it's not the babies fault and it's not yours either.

~I don't mean for that to sound abrasive, but it sounds like your putting a lot of blame and pressure on yourself and your definitively shouldn't.

I had sex with this chick's fiance. that's really bad in itself. I really fucked up. 

 

Everyone *** up. It's how you move past it that matters. Don't beat yourself up about this! **Hugs** 

nocciolata

I'm in the same boat (except mine is married). It has been really hard for me to make a decision based on what's best for me, but it's what you have to do. Everyone makes mistakes and "it takes two to tango", as my mother would say. 

 And I would definitely tell him. You shouldn't have to bear all of the responsibility and decision-making yourself -- but don't let him guilt/pressure you into anything (remember, he made the choice to sleep with you.)

Stand your ground and be strong

Hollie soane

You need to tell him... Either which way he is not the man for you though.

I don't want to sound harsh but if he loved you and wanted children with you he would not be marrying another woman. If you want a baby then be prepared to do it on your own, I fell pregnant with my boyfriend of a year and a half and we have broken up since I told him but I am so happy to be becoming a mum with or without a man there! Do what is best for you hun! X

newmommiee91

thefarmchick:

You got drunk and had sex. It's not your responsibility that he was in a relationship. Nor is it your responsibility how he deals with the consequences.

Tell him about the baby, it's his problem how to deal with the Fiance and what will happen,  That part has nothing to do with you.

You can choose do it on your own or you can look into adoption. Don't just have an abortion because you don't want to deal with the consequences, it's not the babies fault and it's not yours either.

~I don't mean for that to sound abrasive, but it sounds like your putting a lot of blame and pressure on yourself and your definitively shouldn't.

 

 

This. ^^