Anything I can do??

jennipalmer

This has really upset me. I have called cops on ex when I have seen them with unseatbealted kids. I have requested they do not smoke around them even though they still do but they do it less.

 But today when we took my daughter to a doctors appointment her SM was there and had two huge hickies. My daughter is 13 her daughters are almost 15 and 12 and are all starting to get into boys. But how do you promote abstience and healthy choices when they have role models like that??? They have "liked" kinky couple things on facebook that they have kids as friends on. On her status she has put "morning sex is the best" I said they shouldn't have facebook so they just blocked me from the kids facebook. Is this something you can call CPS about or report to judge?

xmaryrickx

No hickies and talking about sex are not reportable to CPS. Having sex in front of them would be. You can unblock yourself on your children's pageshave them open their FB accounts and unblock yourself. Then friend them.

MarSamWhitney

That woman is a sad example. Keep instilling positive morals and values into your DD.

MrsS81112

That's so sad.  When my SS's BM has visitations it was in the court order that she was to refrain from smoking around him.  So the smoking issue could be added to the court order.  

Just keep setting a good example for DD, I know how frustrating it must be when they're not even making an attempt to set a good example. 

FutureMrsWittig

You can make sure you're talking to your daughter.  Keep in mind that she will see these things, if not from her SM, from her friends or others at school, on the internet, and in the media.  As much as it sucks that SM is acting like a tramp, your daughter still has a choice how she will act and how others will see her.  Talk to her about it and talk often.

fellesferie

FutureMrsWittig:

You can make sure you're talking to your daughter.  Keep in mind that she will see these things, if not from her SM, from her friends or others at school, on the internet, and in the media.  As much as it sucks that SM is acting like a tramp, your daughter still has a choice how she will act and how others will see her.  Talk to her about it and talk often.

Yes, yes, yes!

There is no question that the SM's actions are inappropriate.

But I will share that at 13 I knew all about hickies and sex. I watched MTV and read Anne Rice and Jude Deveraux and Stephen King. More than that, I knew girls already having sex.

I think that you have to more or less accept that she will be exposed to stuff and make sure that you talk to her and try to impart the message you have for her about sex.

My DS is only 8 but he gets exposed to stuff all the time that I would prefer he not. We had to talk about Newtown. We've had to talk several times about religion (DH and I are not religious at all). And we had to talk about Harry Potter in Kindergarten. I love Harry Potter but I would have rather waited until 1st/2nd grade before introducing it.

happywife2b

Yes, you can and have the right to have a say in these things if yo have any custody rights. I don't know what state you live in, but in certain states it is a crime to smoke around children, with them in the house or car. You can use that on your behalf. And if kids aren't consenting age for sex then you absolutely do have the right to assert your authority over their activities regarding sex.

lb1212

There's so much "sex" these days targeted towards teens (and pre-teens)- from TV shows, to marketing campaigns, to magazines. Plus what they talk about with each other! It's hard to control what kids are exposed to on a daily basis. Added in authority figures promoting sex and different values about sex than you, makes it very a confusing time for a 13 yr old.

The best you can do, is talk to your daughter! Let her know that she'll see and hear lots of different views about sex and that she can talk to you about them - and that you WANT her to!  You'll need to bring this up more than once!  When I watch TV/movies with my DS (and SD), I'll comment on it. If the kid on the show sneaks out and gets busted, I'll say, "Oh they went easy on that kid! If you ever do that, I'll double the punishment!" Later, I plan on saying things like, "She's now hooking up with that guy?!?! What would her friends say? I know I'd be worried if you were doing that."  That's just one of the ways I plan to help counter the differences in what the kids see on TV and what values I want them to have.

I've been in SD's life for a little over 3 years. In this time, DH and I know of 3 different guys BM has introduced SD to - she lived with guy#1 for about 2 years. Guy#2 was sometime over Christmas break. They broke up in early January and and now guy#3 was introduced to SD a few days after. During some yucky weather, BM lost power and took SD to guy#3's house for a sleep-over. They had only been dating for a week or two.

DH and I want to teach the kids that sex is special. While, I'd love for both kids to wait until they are married, I'm realistic enough to know that might not happen! We hope to show the kids (especially SD) that DH and I are happier in our "married" lives than BM is with her "single" life.