Venting

utahbaby

First, some background:

 I found out I was pregnant, my husband does not want to be a father, so he is divorcing me. Pregnancy was a surprise, yes I was on BC, no I did not sabotage. DH even told me he would stay with me if I got an abortion.

So last night, his mother tells his grandparents. My biggest beef with him right now is that he's 30 years old and needs to start acting like a man. And here we go again with his mommy enabling him to be able to run from his problems. I am absolutely furious. I made it clear to him that if he wants to see his child outside of the standard custody agreement, he needs to show me that he wants to be involved in the child's life (which he says he does) and build my trust that he can handle the inevitable bumps in the road and unexpected surprises that comes with parenthood. And at the first test, he fails.

I think I'm more furious with his mother right now. She reached out to me two weeks after she found out I was pregnant. We had a good relationship, so that was disappointing. I told her at that time why I was upset with her, and her son, in no uncertain terms. I even brought up that he runs from the hard stuff in life. And yet here we go, she LIES for her son, telling his grandparents that we're having troubles and she doesn't know how it will turn out. She knows darn well how it will turn out!

I think I'm just angry because he made these decisions, and he doesn't even have to face the consequences of them. I know this might be silly. But that was kinda the one thing I was looking forward to after the hurt and betrayal he put me through, that he would have to tell his family what he'd done. His family that loves me.

I'm not really looking for advice, I just needed to get this out. I had an email all ready to go about how if she doesn't stop enabling him, I'll cinch that custody agreement so tight that she doesn't get to see the kid hardly at all. And that her son needs to grow up. He's 30. It's time he starts acting like a man. I'll probably think better of the situation and delete it.

I'm just so tired of being angry. I want to start feeling happy that I'm pregnant, and excited. But this kind of crap just pulls me back into that black hole of negativity. And I know I can't rise above it until I don't care anymore about what he or she does. But at the same time, I have to care. My kid is going to be exposed to these people. And my kid needs to be raised by his father, not his grandmother.

Thanks for listening

mimimimimiiii

Congrats of having a baby:) He sounds like a jack ass!! And that's how my BD and I broke up, he told me he is not ready to be a father and he is willing to give up the custody and not seeing the baby in his entire life. Unless I go for an abortion, otherwise, he won't be with me and see me anymore. I feel like I can't relay on him anymore, so I do everything on my own, even he doesn't want to be baby's father. I hope one day he could open his eyes, see the right things and understand me.

 Being a mom is fun and exciting, so don't let your emotion affect the baby and keep your head up. People said guys don't feel connect with the baby until she/he born, so give it sometime. 

I hope things work out for you and your family. 

mel1987

*Hugs* At least your baby has an awesome, sane, responsible mother! aka you

newyoungmama

Lurking here... Well. I guess I'm single too

Anyways- I've been in your EXACT POSITION before. And i know it sucks. If you ever need a friend or someone to bounce ideas off of, you can pm me... I'm moving to ut in a month too

Gl girl!