Putting Father on BC

livleen3

What are the Pros andCons of putting the father on the birth certificate? I will def file for child support bc Im broke! So im sure the court will order a paternity test etc.

Im 27 and the 40yr old who knocked me up is ignoring me and Im planning to do this on my own. I don't know if he will come around or not. Im def giving the baby my last name b/c Im giving birth to the baby and unless he is my husband he doesnt deserve the baby having his last name.

mamastich

Please stop saying knocked you up... It takes two to tango so you are just as involved. He didnt do anything you didn't do.

20thirteen

I think I read from another thread ("Advice" maybe?) about putting the father on the BC.  Since my brain isn't working properly, forgive me if I don't remember all of it.  A couple people mentioned that to get government assistance, his name has to be on there, which would also open the door to child support.  What state do you/you guys live in?  There are attorneys out there that take pro bono cases like this, or, at the very least, give free consultations so that you can be better informed on how these situations work. 

septmom11

In my state the father has to be there to sign the initial BC.  If you want govt assistance, child support ect he either has to sign the certificate or sign an acknowledgment of paternity.  If he doesnt willingly do this you can have a court ordered paternity test.  If he is in fact the father a new BC will be issued with his name on it

dmndsr4eva

If you are not married then you cannot add him to the BC without him signing an affidavit stating he is the father.  Which is better for you at first because you do not need to allow him visitation until he requests a blood test.  I think for the first few months you should just worry about you and your baby and then deal with the visitation and child support after you've had time to settle into your new role as a mother.  You will probably have to wait awhile to get CS though. Plus if you guys aren't together it's probably best that you give your baby your last name too.

In my situation I wasn't married but lived with BD.  He signed the affidavit and got put on the BC.  I gave my son his BD's last name because I thought we were going to get married.  Then when my son was a year and a half old he left me for another woman and threatened to take my son from me.  He wasn't successful however he does get 30% visitation which in my opinion is too much for such a young child to be away from his mother.

Learn from my mistakes.  Try to keep him at a distance for as long as possible.  I'm all for BD's having a relationship with their children but I think young kids like 3 and under belong with their mama.  If I could do it all over again I would have pushed for less or no overnights with his dad until he got older.  Maybe just day time visits.  I had to send my son overnight with his father a week after I moved out of his house.  And found out two weeks later that he had my son around his new GF who is his coworker he worked with all the time we were together.  Looking back I realized in the final months of our relationship he had been taking my infant son over to her house during his free time. He is still with her a year and a half later and in the heat of an argument a few months ago he told me that she is a better mom than I'll ever be. And I can assure you she is enjoying playing "mom" to my son.

bripratt2

Depends what you want if you want cs then you should but cs comes with rights so you'll have to be prepared for that. I knew rights for bf weren't in my daughters best interest so I left him off of her BC. If you think him having rights is a risk to your lo I highly suggest leaving him off. If its not a problem to you put him on there or file for paternity if that's what you have to do. I was able to do fine without any cs of course I stayed at home had financial help from my parents and ebf. I took some college classes and took up nannying so I wouldn't have to pay for childcare. child care. I was also able to get public Insurance so no medical bills. The biggest expense was diapers really and it wasn't sobad. The biggest thing is if you go without c accept all the help Yu can get.

ChristyPells

livleen3:

What are the Pros andCons of putting the father on the birth certificate? I will def file for child support bc Im broke! So im sure the court will order a paternity test etc.
Im 27 and the 40yr old who knocked me up is ignoring me and Im planning to do this on my own. I don't know if he will come around or not. Im def giving the baby my last name b/c Im giving birth to the baby and unless he is my husband he doesnt deserve the baby having his last name.

get legal counsel because it depends on the state if he has to nee there or sign etc and if that gives baby his name or not

mel1987

I'm not putting a father on the birth certificate. I would rather get assistance from the state than bring him into it and risk him deciding he wants custody. I understand a lot of people on this board will not agree with that. But I feel like it is better for a child to grow up with no father then a wishy washy waste of space.