Ok. So now I'm terrified. I'm a pessimist by nature (some combination of being a Southern Italian and a woman...) and I'm always in fear that when something good happens it will be negated (yes I do lots of therapy for this). But how do I calm this fear that now that R has expressed a desire to match that it will actually happen. It's a long match, and my agency seems uneasy about that (they usually hear from BM's around 7 or 8 months). And I feel like I keep hearing stories about people with long matches where, with no warning, the birth parent decides to parent. I'm terrified. So talk to me please.
How did you get through a long match if you had one? Was it successful? If it wasn't, were there warning signs? Was there an unsupportive family member in the BM's family?
Why did you seek an early or long match with an AP? How did it feel to you? Risky? Safe? Horrible?
I'm just looking for info to help me process my own thoughts and feelings (because I'm driving my partner batty).