Sleep Help, Please!

clevebride07

My almost 3yo DS has never been a good sleeper, and I know it's our fault, but I think I'm now coming to my wit's end.  We have a 6 week-old, and due to issues during my pregnancy, and now the infant, my DH has been assuming most of the role of bedtimes for DS1 recently.  He lets DS1 do things he shouldn't (gets away with stall tactics, late bedtime, taking hours to fall asleep and demanding that DH stay with him, sleeping in our room from the beginning of the night, or coming into our bed in the middle of the night), and then DS takes them and runs, and now they are habit.  Last night, I was downstairs folding laundry when I hear a noise on our monitor (DS 2 is sleeping in a RNP in our room), and I see DS1 climbing out of OUR bed.  Next thing I know, he's downstairs trying to go play with his toys!  I march him back upstairs and find my DH asleep in bed, oblivious to the fact that DS was awake, and by now, it's about 10:30.  I talked to DH about it today, and he blew up, and wants me to "fix" DS.  Mind you, I tried the Supernanny technique of putting him back to bed everytime he got out the other night (this was at bedtime), and my husband came in and "saved" him after 1/2 hour!  I'm very willing to take the lead on fixing the issue, just not sure exactly what the best technique is.  I know he has some fear of the dark, because he won't go into a dark room until one of us has turned on the lights, but I think a lot of the issue is habit and control.  We've tried sticker charts and rewards, and he has a nightlight but doesn't like it because he is scared of the shadows it creates.  And, FWIW, DS can put himself to sleep and stay in his bed all night, he's done it here and there before, and does it consistently when he stays with my parents or my ILs.  Any advice for tonight?  I'm reading 123 Magic as we speak.  TIA!

AmericanInOz

You need consistency and your dh needs to be on the same page!! Tell ds the new rules then stick to them, like walking him back to bed when he wakes up, we go to sleep in our own beds etc. he'll get it , but expect it to take a few days to weeks to break bad habits and your dh must do the same or your ds will just continue to push his limits cause he knows daddy will give in!
Maybe a new bedtime routine too? Setting a routine that's the same every night really does help!!

shaw

We had a perfectly sleep trained baby who became a horrible toddler sleeper!  I lay down with him at night to fall asleep.  He comes into our bed in the middle of the night.  It works for now?!  If LO tries to go down stairs, he gets a consequence and I really make a big deal out of it.  GL