Tips to help 26m old listen? What to do when it doesn't work?

nc@hotmail.com

We've been out of the social loop for about 5 months due to my being uncomfortably pregnant, then csection recovery and new baby adjustments. We are now venturing out and it has been pretty bad. We went to two toddler activities this week. At each one DD ran around like a maniac the whole time. On Tue we went to a craft activity that began with story time. All other toddlers were sitting nicely on the floor listening, she was running around and wanting to see and touch everything. I handled it by getting down on her level, making eye contact and telling her I needed her to sit and listen to story. On redirect two I pointed out how all the other kids were sitting nicely and told her I needed her to sit nicely too. The third time I told her if she couldn't sit and  listen then we would have to leave. We wound up leaving. She wasn't upset and didn't seem to understand that she was missing out. Today we went to Kindermusik. She literally ran in circles around the room. Again, i got down on her level I told her what I expected. On time three I removed her from the classroom and told her if she didnt do what I asked we would have to go. Again, we wound up leaving. I don't know how to teach better listening skills and following directions. I'm not so much for spanking. I don't know what else will get through to her. Making her miss out on a fun activity doesn't seem to be having a negative effect as a consequence. What next? 

honkytonk_kid

It doesn't seem like she thinks those are fun activities if she is not participating and doesn't care if you leave. Since those are extra activities and not, like, mealtimes where she DOES need to sit down nicely, why not just skip them? She obviously doesn't love them.

If you have a new baby at home I would venture to guess she might be feeling cooped up and the last thing she wants to do is more still/quiet/calm activities. Can you go to the park instead? Have playdates where she can run around?

I realize that's doesn't really address the listening and following directions issue, but that's what stuck out to me in your post.

kcisthebombdotcom

nc@hotmail.com:

We've been out of the social loop for about 5 months due to my being uncomfortably pregnant, then csection recovery and new baby adjustments. We are now venturing out and it has been pretty bad. We went to two toddler activities this week. At each one DD ran around like a maniac the whole time. On Tue we went to a craft activity that began with story time. All other toddlers were sitting nicely on the floor listening, she was running around and wanting to see and touch everything. I handled it by getting down on her level, making eye contact and telling her I needed her to sit and listen to story. On redirect two I pointed out how all the other kids were sitting nicely and told her I needed her to sit nicely too. The third time I told her if she couldn't sit and  listen then we would have to leave. We wound up leaving. She wasn't upset and didn't seem to understand that she was missing out. Today we went to Kindermusik. She literally ran in circles around the room. Again, i got down on her level I told her what I expected. On time three I removed her from the classroom and told her if she didnt do what I asked we would have to go. Again, we wound up leaving. I don't know how to teach better listening skills and following directions. I'm not so much for spanking. I don't know what else will get through to her. Making her miss out on a fun activity doesn't seem to be having a negative effect as a consequence. What next? 

Does she routinely follow directions at home? It almost seems like she didn't understand since she couldn't have cared less when you left. If she's not understanding instructions, this is something you should talk to your pedi about.

If this is an isolated incident--paying attention to a craft or story in a group setting is something that has to be learned with many kids. I would avoid classes where teh expectation is to sit for an extended period of time and start slowly. I would literally make her sit in your lap by snuggling her and offering praise for sitting nicely for short periods.

Is her attention good at home to activities? I wouldn't let her run off whenever she's bored of something--really encourage her to follow through and finish an activity instead of constantly running around and just doing what she wants. Do hand over hand to get her to finish if she will not and offer praise when she does. Start small and work your way up.

nc@hotmail.com

Good point! She is a very active child. We haven't gone to the park lately because the weather has been uncooperative. We do Stroller Strides 2-3x a week in a gym and she runs around and plays afterwards. There is a gymnastics class I know she would love, but I cant bring DS along so that isnt an option. Seeing that she doesn't follow directions in the calmer environments bothers me and I want to work on that with her. 

nc@hotmail.com

She follows directions well at home. We also have play dates about once a week and she does fine.  These are the only two times we have tried activities like this, so maybe we are doing too much too soon? It seems almost like she is overstimulated? How do I regain her attention in these types of environments though?

technigirl

Hi!  I'm new to the board, but thought I'd chime in since I also have a 26 month old.  It sounds like your daughter is just quite stimulated by the new activities and wants to explore everything (as 2 year olds do).  I think you are handling the situation correctly.  I think she doesn't seem upset when you leave because she doesn't yet understand what she's missing out on!  I would say, if you want to keep trying, maybe let her explore the first couple of times and settle in at her own pace, as long as she's not disrupting the class.  Once it becomes old news to her, she may settling down and listen, and she might start to comprehend that she's missing out on something fun when she leaves, especially if she makes friends there.  On the other hand, it could be that she's just not quite ready for those kinds of activities, and you might want to wait until she's a little older and try again.  Good luck!

megperk72

Sounds like she's not ready for activities that involve sitting and listening. I know my 2 1/2 yr old wouldn't do that well in those types of things either. She is too 'busy'. For now, I would stick with the activities that are more hands on. She can still learn to listen and follow directions in those types of settings, and save the "sit down and listen" activities until she's a little older.

JulesDiane

Maybe it's just me, but I think you are expecting too much from a 26 month old. Sitting and listening is tough at that age. i am surprised that Kindermusik has them sit and listen? We do a music class where it isn't a big deal if they wander around, dance around, run around. That is what kids do at that age. Espeically in a stimulating environment. I will say, I have noticed a large difference in my DD's listening and following directions from 24 months until now 31 months. She listens so much better. I expect that for you, with a little bit of time too she will get better.

honeybee111

DD was 26 months when we started Gymboree classes.  The first 2 times, she did exactly what your daughter did: run around, did not pay attention to the class.  It was like she didn't get that other kids were sitting in the circle, so she should too.  I let her get up, but did not let her bother other kids, so I told her she could jump behind me, but not around the room.  She could go look at the pictures on the wall where we were sitting, but she had to be quiet while the teacher was talking.  I didn't want to throw down the "behave or we're leaving" card, because since she'd never been in that environment before, I wasn't sure she understood what was expected of her.  By our third visit, she got it.  Now, she's 3 and I just picked her up from preschool yesterday - walked in on her sitting quietly with the rest of the class listening to the teacher read a story.