2 under 2, what about 3rd?

missmodeste

My first two are 21 months apart. I feel like I'm just now getting into a good groove now that DD is more independent.

We'd like a 3rd but I'm torn on putting them closer to 3 years apart rather than another 2 under 2 spacing. I'm looking forward to a break after being pregnant or nursing since 2010!

I can see the bond between the first two growin so strong will the 3rd be left out with a bigger spacing?

memali26

I can't answer the question, but I can say you're not alone in that worry. Mine are 19 months apart and they adore each other. It's just incredible to see them together, especially now that DD2 is starting to enjoy the things DD1 does and they are really starting to play together. 

But as great as it is having them this close, I know we couldn't do 2u2 again. It's been hard and stressful and it's just not the right decision for us. We're still undecided about having a third, but if we do the spacing will likely be 2.5 to close to 3 years apart. I do worry that spacing a third that much farther apart would mean they are always left out or that it would make doing things as a family more difficult since we'd have 4 years between our oldest and youngest. 

jesselayne8

In a perfect world we would love to wait 3 yrs and have 2U2 with #3 and #4.  I guess we will see what happens.

I am also looking forward to a break from being pregnant or breastfeeding and I have a least a yr before that happens. 

skyejo

I too am torn on this.  DD1 and DD2 are 23 months apart.  DD2 has been so insanley easy that I'm sort of ready to start TTC again. Buuuut, we have that pesky daycare bill and adding a third to that for an extended period of time would suck. Though my husband thinks of it as we'll eventually be paying for daycare for a third so might as well do it when we'd like.

So while I'd love to have an even closer age gap between #2 and #3 we may try to space them more like 2 1/2 years apart.  I still feel like that's a pretty close age gap.

lkm2006

After this one, we are definitely taking a break.  I want to wait at least 3-4 years before adding another one to the bunch.

We actually plan on having more children though so I would ideally like to have #3 and #4 close together so I'm not worried about waiting and #3 being left out.  I don't think I will go as close at 17 months next time.. but ideally closer to 2 years difference between #3 and #4.

Whoo, that's a lot of numbers!

missmodeste

So it's not just me being a perfectionist with the spacing of kids.

Three is our magic number so I don't want them too far behind but a break sounds sooo wonderful.

And 3 in daycare doesn't scare me as much as 3 in college at the same time!

MitoRachel

jesselayne8:

In a perfect world we would love to wait 3 yrs and have 2U2 with #3 and #4.  I guess we will see what happens.

I am also looking forward to a break from being pregnant or breastfeeding and I have a least a yr before that happens. 

DH and I feel exactly the same way! 

okate0213

It's been a much harder decision for me this time around than compared to adding a second. Ideally I would like to wait for a 2 2.5 age gap and then have the next two 2U2 again (4kiddos). But, dh would like them all to be 18 mo apart, he is 10 yrs older than me and would ideally like to not be an "old dad". I would like them all to have similar interests and doing the same activities. I love the relationship my boys have. Plus getting all the baby stage over sooner, then working on myself and moving onto the next stage sooner.

JaysonandKristin

We're going for 4 altogether, and we'll have 2 sets of 2U2.  Our first 2 are 19 months apart.  #2 and #3 ideally will be 28 months apart and then ideally #3 and #4 will be 19 months apart.  

lindsay.lou

jesselayne8:

In a perfect world we would love to wait 3 yrs and have 2U2 with 3 and 4. nbsp;I guess we will see what happens.I am also looking forward to a break from being pregnant or breastfeeding and I have a least a yr before that happens.nbsp;

Same.

morgs8384

Mine are 13.5 months apart. I think, in a perfect world I would like to be pregnant next fall/winter. BUT, before we can have another LO we need to either move, or finish our basement so that our office can be moved out of the fourth bedroom. We will have a larger spacing with our 3rd baby, which will probably be our last. I hope by the fall/winter of 2015 to be pregnant =/.

kcisthebombdotcom

In my perfect world, I wanted a third when #2 was around 2.5-3. We did try for around 6 months to get pregnant but no dice.

Timing just wouldn't be right at this point in time so it really did work out for the best. I would completely be overwhelmed with a newborn/pregnancy right now given all we're going through with my youngest. If we do try again, it wouldnt be until the fall which would mean around a 3.5 year gap from 2-3 which I'm honestly not too fond of.

If money weren't an object I would just do 2u2 again but that's definitely not an option for us. Plus I'm not getting any younger and don't want to push too close to AMA (for me personally). I'm leaning towards stopping but definitely not 100% positive yet.

Mommy2CB

Our #2 isn't here yet, but we've always discussed possibly having 3 children, we will see how having 2 goes first

If we do decide on #3, I am not sure what spacing I want.. maybe another 2 years? (our DS's will be around 22 months apart, so just shy of 2 yrs). It really depends on DS2's temperament, how the boys get along, and how much I can handle. I am a SAHM so they will be with me most of the time, but we don't have to factor in daycare costs or anything like that. We also own our own home and have enough room for DC#3 to have their own room, so no space issue either.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

<--- Been pregnant or nursing since Jan 2009

I am ready to get my body back, but I figure I might as well get it all done and over with.

kat81again2

full discloser: I'm a lurker/snooper in that I have one child who is already 2 so I don't qualify for this group. 

I just wanted to jump in to say that my older sisters are 2u2 (22 mo apart) and I'm three years and three months behind the younger of them. I never felt left out, except maybe once or twice, but that's just as often as THEY felt left out. (When you have three you go through periods of two being close and the third not being as close, but it switches off which is the third depending on what's going on in life. At least that was our feeling with all being the same gender.) As adults, we are all close and obviously no longer even feel the age gaps at all. 

So I would say give yourself a break and don't worry about it.

I guess I will add this caveat -- part of the reason it worked out was because of the grades we were in school. They were two grades apart even though less than two years apart, and then I was three grades apart from my middle sister even though she was a bit more than three years older. If the gap pushes the last one to be four grades behind I think that starts to make more of a difference. So consider school cut-offs in your decision making, maybe. 

Haley.Beth

I've been worried about this one as well. I'm expecting #2 in July, my girls will be 18 months apart. Ideally, I think dh and I are going to try for #3 to be two years apart, give or take a month or two. I'm a little nervous about it, but I'll be a stay at home mom when #2 gets here, so daycare isn't an issue. 3 is our definite cutoff, though, so having two sets of 2u2 isn't an issue. Obviously, we're going to make a definite decision after we've experienced the first two, though!

WhitePicketFence

My girls are 18 months apart. There's no way I could do that again. We're still undecided on #3 at this point for a variety of reasons but if we decide to go for it, we'll either TTC this summer or next. That would mean my youngest two would be roughly 2.5-3.5 years apart.

VTFutureMrs

DS and DD are 19 months apart. We wanted to wait till DD was at least 2 years before trying for the third, but DH will be away on business for a long time next year and I didn't think I could be pregnant with two kids and work full time all by myself, so we moved up the third. DD and #3 will be about 21 months apart. I am a little nervous about it, but it will be my last pregnancy, so that puts me at ease a little bit. 

LDQAM516

Our first two are 21 months apart and our 2nd and 3rd are 25.  The beginning is the easiest...with the first two...the older they get the harder it gets...mainly because of fighting..all...the...time.  Our 3rd is easy going and not a problem...but I know that will change as she starts to talk and becomes more independent...I see a lot of fighting with her older sister in my future.  I love the closeness...but might have changed my mind if I knew how badly they would annoy each other at 3 and almost 5...with the 3rd close behind!  I do know it will be better when DS goes to school full time in August...I secretly can not wait!

t.bird

my girls are 14 months apart. we tried to do the same with #3 but it took quite a while to get pregnant again.

so #2 & #3 will be 2.5 years apart- i actually think it'll be a little less challenging than #1 & #2. my olders girls can play together & entertain themselves now. my eldest is potty trained & my goal is to have my youngest potty trained before # gets here.

so i think the spacing is actually pretty perfect this time around. 

diana.filipi

Our 3 will be the other way around.  DD was 26 months when DS arrived and he will be 16 months when our 3rd arrives.  We will have 3 that are 3 and under.

JenGrl8503

jesselayne8:

In a perfect world we would love to wait 3 yrs and have 2U2 with #3 and #4.  I guess we will see what happens.

I am also looking forward to a break from being pregnant or breastfeeding and I have a least a yr before that happens. 

DH and I just talked about this a couple days ago and this is our mindset as well...we have always said we want somewhere between 3-5 kids...I love the 2u2 concept...had several friends growing up who were part of a 2u2 sibling pair and they LOVED it.  So to me it makes sense to do 2u2 (DD1 is 14 months and DD2 is due in June so 18m difference) then wait maybe 2-3 years before trying for another 2u2 pair.

My fear is what if we decide that #3 is it (for any reason...fertility, finances, just want to be done, etc)? I would hate for them to be the "odd man out"...something I also witnessed in friends' families growing up.

Decisions decisions!!!  

LJM0521

My boys are 22 months apart and get along great so far!  They are really close and I love watching them together.  #3 will be almost exactly 2.5 years younger than DS2, about 4.5 years younger than DS1.  She's not here yet, so I can't tell you for sure whether she is included or not, but I can tell you that it's something I worry about a lot.  Plus, she's a girl and they are both boys.  I think my boys will love her more than she will know what to do with, but she probably won't be included in a lot of their games and such.