Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

My saturday is going to suck (preg. & baby mentioned)

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My saturday is going to suck (preg. & baby mentioned)

I made myself a hair appointment for Saturday figuring it was a good thing for me to do and it would make me happy...well last night H and I were at our neighbor's house (they're very good friends of ours) and the woman said to me "are we still on for you watching the baby on saturday?"

I was kind of stumped...had totally forgotten that a month ago she asked me to watch the baby. I also said yes because I was pregnant, and watching a baby seemed like a super fun idea...well not anymore...ugh!! I kind of feel like she should have found someone else to babysit given my situation.

I also got a text from another friend who wants to visit on me on Saturday and I told her that I had to babysit and she said "oh cool I'll come by and help!" well this friend is pregnant...and I adore her but I don't know HOW I'm going to get through this day!

Don't get me wrong...this baby that I'm watching is probably the reason why H and I were ready to TTC, she's adorable and we love her....also my friend is great, she brought me lots of stuff to help me get through this time and she's been there with lots of love and support. I just don't see this day going well at all...I feel like I'm just going to ball my eyes out as soon as I'm home and by myself.

I also had to reschedule my hair appointment to wednesday since I will be too busy saturday...ugh!!

vent over!! thanks for listening :)

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Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

Re: My saturday is going to suck (preg. &amp;amp; baby mentioned)

  • To be honest, I'd cancel the babysitting. Now. If your friend can't be understanding (I'm assuming from your post that she knows), then she's not really a good friend. I would not be able to do this.
  • imagepeanut+muse:
    To be honest, I'd cancel the babysitting. Now. If your friend can't be understanding (I'm assuming from your post that she knows), then she's not really a good friend. I would not be able to do this.

    I know..it was really kind of awkward...her husband was there and was like "oh lets just have you parents watch her" so it seemed like he actually figured out that it wasn't a great idea.

    I'm torn on what to do....especially since last night I was just in shock that she asked me if we were "still on" and I said...oh ya I forgot but, ok. UGH!

    image

    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

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  • If you are not ready to do it, do what is best for you. Don't worry about anyone else right now. I am certain that she will understand. And it sounds like they already have another option. Just do what you need to do for you, and don't feel bad about it.
  • imagepeanut+muse:
    To be honest, I'd cancel the babysitting. Now. If your friend can't be understanding (I'm assuming from your post that she knows), then she's not really a good friend. I would not be able to do this.

    This exactly.  Your friend can't expect you to be up for babysitting after a loss.  And if she is not understanding she is not a good friend!  I know your other friend is pregnant.....but if you are still going to babysit..having her there might be a good thing.  Talking to her about your feelings might be therapeutic.  Good luck either way, so sorry Saturday might suck!

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  • Just to throw my two cents' worth in the ring, you might actually not find it to be as hard as you think.  I went to help my mom babysit my young twin nephews (they're toddlers but tiny) last night, very half-heartedly as I was thinking it would be so hard after my loss, but I actually found it to be very therapeutic.  They're super cute and cuddly boys, and I found as I sat on the couch with one of them snuggled up in my arms I just felt...well, just how sweet and wonderful and pure it felt to be holding him.  It was like a warmth that went through to my core and just made me feel the happiest I've felt in two weeks.  There was a touch of sadness there of course, but it just felt really overwhelmingly good.

    Now I know my experience may not be yours, but I thought I'd put it out there - sometimes facing up to the things we fear the most brings us unexpected healing and a step forward.  Best of luck either way, my thoughts are certainly with you!! ((hugs))


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • I wouldn't do it. My sister asked me to watch my nephew this week and as much as I love him I just couldn't do it right now. I'm sure your friend would understand. Maybe you could even ask the pregnant friend if she could do it by herself first and then tell your other friend. Do what feels right to you. 

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    My Ovulation Chart

    BFP #1 3.16.12. mmc 5.7.12 at 11 weeks ~Avery Cameron~

    BFP #2 12.12.12. mmc 1.22.13 at 10 weeks ~Theodore Michael~

    D&C #2 Chromosome analysis results: Translocation Trisomy 14

    My RPL Testing: Homozygous MTHFR, normal karyotype

    DH's karyotype results: Robertsonian Translocation 13:14

    BFP #3 9.10.13 mc at 4 weeks~Our little May Flower~ 

    BFP #4 10.13.13- Our Rainbow Baby, a little girl, arrived June 25, 2014! 

                                                                              


     

     

     

     

  • Everyone handles situations differently.  If you're dreading the babysitting situation, then you really need to cancel before it's too late for them to find another sitter.  Just explain to them that after your loss, you're just not ready to babysit.  I'm most positive they will understand.  Unless they're really selfish people.  I hope you're able to get through the weekend. 
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • That's a tough one!  I had committed to babysit triplets before we found out about our loss...it was just 2 days after we got the news!  I dreaded it, but for some reason, I felt like it was something I needed to do.  Initially it was difficult - seeing them all bundled up and adorable in their little carriers, but once the parents left nand it was just me and them- I started to feel better about things. It really gave me hope sitting there holding them and feeding them.  At one point, while I was giving one a bottle, she looked up and touched my face...I melted!! I did tear up a little, but it was as if she knew that I was hurting.  Maybe that's just my imaginationg, but it really was therapeutic for me.  Don't get me wrong - I was and am still sad, but seeing those little faces made me realize how much I want this and even moreso, how much more it is going to mean when it finally happens. 

     You do have to make the decision that is best for you and that you feel most comfortable with.  That is what I felt that I needed at the time.  I do still find it difficult to be around pregnant women...my office is full of them and it is not fun at all.  I share your pain and hope that you find peace.  Thoughts and prayers are going out to you.

    MrS. tHeRiOt
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