In case anyone's on mobile the title of the thread is:
My saturday is going to suck (preg. & baby mentioned)
I made myself a hair appointment for Saturday figuring it was a good thing for me to do and it would make me happy...well last night H and I were at our neighbor's house (they're very good friends of ours) and the woman said to me "are we still on for you watching the baby on saturday?"
I was kind of stumped...had totally forgotten that a month ago she asked me to watch the baby. I also said yes because I was pregnant, and watching a baby seemed like a super fun idea...well not anymore...ugh!! I kind of feel like she should have found someone else to babysit given my situation.
I also got a text from another friend who wants to visit on me on Saturday and I told her that I had to babysit and she said "oh cool I'll come by and help!" well this friend is pregnant...and I adore her but I don't know HOW I'm going to get through this day!
Don't get me wrong...this baby that I'm watching is probably the reason why H and I were ready to TTC, she's adorable and we love her....also my friend is great, she brought me lots of stuff to help me get through this time and she's been there with lots of love and support. I just don't see this day going well at all...I feel like I'm just going to ball my eyes out as soon as I'm home and by myself.
I also had to reschedule my hair appointment to wednesday since I will be too busy saturday...ugh!!
vent over!! thanks for listening
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
Re: My saturday is going to suck (preg. & baby mentioned)
I know..it was really kind of awkward...her husband was there and was like "oh lets just have you parents watch her" so it seemed like he actually figured out that it wasn't a great idea.
I'm torn on what to do....especially since last night I was just in shock that she asked me if we were "still on" and I said...oh ya I forgot but, ok. UGH!
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
This exactly. Your friend can't expect you to be up for babysitting after a loss. And if she is not understanding she is not a good friend! I know your other friend is pregnant.....but if you are still going to babysit..having her there might be a good thing. Talking to her about your feelings might be therapeutic. Good luck either way, so sorry Saturday might suck!
Just to throw my two cents' worth in the ring, you might actually not find it to be as hard as you think. I went to help my mom babysit my young twin nephews (they're toddlers but tiny) last night, very half-heartedly as I was thinking it would be so hard after my loss, but I actually found it to be very therapeutic. They're super cute and cuddly boys, and I found as I sat on the couch with one of them snuggled up in my arms I just felt...well, just how sweet and wonderful and pure it felt to be holding him. It was like a warmth that went through to my core and just made me feel the happiest I've felt in two weeks. There was a touch of sadness there of course, but it just felt really overwhelmingly good.
Now I know my experience may not be yours, but I thought I'd put it out there - sometimes facing up to the things we fear the most brings us unexpected healing and a step forward. Best of luck either way, my thoughts are certainly with you!! ((hugs))
Married August 2012. Me: 41 DH: 42
Daughter from previous marriage: 20
BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014
TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014
TTCAL BLOG
All ALers welcome!
My Ovulation Chart
BFP #1 3.16.12. mmc 5.7.12 at 11 weeks ~Avery Cameron~
BFP #2 12.12.12. mmc 1.22.13 at 10 weeks ~Theodore Michael~
D&C #2 Chromosome analysis results: Translocation Trisomy 14
My RPL Testing: Homozygous MTHFR, normal karyotype
DH's karyotype results: Robertsonian Translocation 13:14
BFP #3 9.10.13 mc at 4 weeks~Our little May Flower~
BFP #4 10.13.13- Our Rainbow Baby, a little girl, arrived June 25, 2014!
Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
TTC #3
That's a tough one! I had committed to babysit triplets before we found out about our loss...it was just 2 days after we got the news! I dreaded it, but for some reason, I felt like it was something I needed to do. Initially it was difficult - seeing them all bundled up and adorable in their little carriers, but once the parents left nand it was just me and them- I started to feel better about things. It really gave me hope sitting there holding them and feeding them. At one point, while I was giving one a bottle, she looked up and touched my face...I melted!! I did tear up a little, but it was as if she knew that I was hurting. Maybe that's just my imaginationg, but it really was therapeutic for me. Don't get me wrong - I was and am still sad, but seeing those little faces made me realize how much I want this and even moreso, how much more it is going to mean when it finally happens.
You do have to make the decision that is best for you and that you feel most comfortable with. That is what I felt that I needed at the time. I do still find it difficult to be around pregnant women...my office is full of them and it is not fun at all. I share your pain and hope that you find peace. Thoughts and prayers are going out to you.