Pet Death Help

MomEads

I don't post often, but I needs some advice.  We have 2 cats both about 12 years old.  One is not doing well and is more than likely going to need put to sleep.  The vet is supposed to be calling me today to discuss what we should do.  My question for you is in regards to my girls.  I have a 5 and 2 year old and they both adore the cat.  Do I tell them that he is sick and will be dying so that they can say goodbye or do I just not say anything until after it is done.  I am trying to make this as easy on everyone as possible and I want to make sure I do the right thing for my girls.  Thank you for your advice. 

MomlovesEloise

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. 

I would probably tell the 5 year old but not the 2 year old. I don't know if at 2 they can really grasp death except for knowing that everyone is sad. Maybe give both the girls the cat's favorite treat or toy to play with him/her so they have a really happy last memory. 

RondackHiker

My little sister was five when we put our first dog down. Every kid is different, but she said she really appreciated being able to say goodbye.

My parents told her that Becky was very sick and dying, and that the vets couldn't help anymore, so we all had to say goodbye and tell her we loved her. They did discuss that she was tired so we were going to give her medicine that would help her die.

I actually made the choice. I was 12 and said that it was time. I think my parents agreed and would have decided soon, but she was my dog and I felt like I wanted to have that choice. My poor girl. She was great.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

I don't have much advice but I wanted to tell you I am very sorry about your cat.

I think the concept of being ill and then dying might be too hard for a 2-year old to grasp, but not for a 5-year old. I might try and give the 2-year old a vague "the cat is gone" type of explanation, but I would let the 5-year old know what's going on. Then again, maybe the 5-year old will repeat everything you tell her to the 2-year old. I really don't know. Sorry.

 

Titts McGeee

MomlovesEloise:

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. 

I would probably tell the 5 year old but not the 2 year old. I don't know if at 2 they can really grasp death except for knowing that everyone is sad. Maybe give both the girls the cat's favorite treat or toy to play with him/her so they have a really happy last memory. 

 

I agree with this.

GrayGhost13

I don't really have any advice, but I am so sorry. T&P for you and your cats and your girls.

Ms Adler

I'm sorry you are going through this. I would give your 5 year old the chance to say goodbye. We recently had to put down my mom's dog and although we did not explain euthanasia to my 5 year old, we did tell her that the dog was very sick and that she had to go to the vet. We let her know that in this special circumstance of illness, the dog may not be healthy enough to come back home. She said a goodbye and wasn't surprised when we came home empty handed from the vet. We told her the dog passed away there, which is true...just not the full truth. I think it was important for her that she got closure in saying goodbye.

tarebear9891

I would keep it simple and tell the 5 year old. I think giving her a last memory with the cat would be a good thing.

I had to sit my 4 year old down yesterday and tell him that my parents dog, who he sees every week, died. He asked a lot of questions which I tried to answer. Months later, he still asks about their other dog that died so be prepared for that. They still don't get the concept of death well at that age.