You asked about our therapy in the other post. I figured I'd answer here, because it's complicated.
We are doing talk therapy, mostly. It's not always ideal, for many reasons (most importantly because I know more about attachment issues (especially in adoption) than our therapist), but I do think that this format works for M. We were kind of locked into this therapist in the beginning because she is fluent in Spanish and was willing/eager to work with us. I only found two attachment therapists in the area when we first brought M home, and neither spoke Spanish. They tried to tell us that we should wait until he gained more English to start therapy because seeing a traditional therapist could do more harm than good, but M needed it right away, and it really did wonders for us during the transition.
While M is turning 10 this week, he's biologically about 12.5. Emotionally, he's all over the place. Socially, he's young, but he's lived a hard life, and has seen more than most adults, so he's very experienced in ways, too. He feels responsible for everyone's safety, which is both a gift of compassion and an issue we're working on (because he worries too much about everyone, especially J and his first mother). My point is that while the boys sometimes play during their sessions, I think M gets much more out of traditional talk therapy sessions, possibly because he's past the play therapy stage.
While he doesn't like to talk about things that are bothering him when we first bring it up, it almost always does two things: 1) gets him to bring up things that are bothering him outside of therapy; and 2) makes him feel better after. He usually will talk about something for several minutes and then doesn't want to anymore. So, we learned to take full advantage of the time we can get him to engage, and it's worked really well. We tackle his life problems, 10 minutes at a time, in and out of therapy.
When I said that our sessions weren't too productive lately, that had more to do with us no longer going every week due to a scheduling conflict. Since things have been generally good with M right now, the little things that happened during the two weeks between appointments never became a topic for therapy because they usually seemed resolved by the time we got there. It also didn't help that we now are bringing both boys, and so they were distracting to one another and we only had time to touch surface issues (school, behavior, the weekly schedule). It just started to feel like our sessions were becoming a waste of time, and we wanted to purposely bring the focus back to the boys' deeper needs.
For M, this works. Sometimes we have to "force" him to think about things and put them in words because otherwise he just internalizes the bad feelings and it turns into bad feelings about himself and poor behavior. It's not always a pleasant process, but afterward, he always feels better and closer to us.
For J...well, no, this isn't a great set-up yet. He's young and conditioned to think that if he gets a "talking to" and is asked why he did anything, then he'll be in trouble. We went through this same thing with M at first, and I was hoping watching M talk to us truthfully about his emotions and not getting into trouble would show him it's okay, but he's a tough cookie.
Again, though, we are sort of stuck with this therapist because of her fluency in Spanish. And now, despite any other issues/lackings, the boys (at least M) have established a level of trust with her and she knows their entire background. So we are pushing forward with this set up, and hoping that for J it will all come together as it did with M. There are times at home when he'll just burst out with something we discussed at therapy, so that's a good sign, and we'll keep trying as we move forward...or sideways, or wherever they are pulling me today!