To those who TTC or had a baby after a preemie...

PhillyGal34

Did you take the time of year into consideration? In my previous post I said that my DH has finally come around to having another baby... I say finally but it really hasn't been that long, just felt like it when he originally said we wouldn't have any more kids.  He wants to take me on a vacation for my birthday next February and start trying then.  We conceived DS on a vacation and the first month we tried, we know we were really lucky, so he thinks it will happen again.  I think that sounds great but IF it happened right away again it would mean our baby would be born in the winter.  There is no way to know if we will have another preemie but I need to mentally and physically prepare for it if we do, at least as much as I can.  So assuming we have a preemie that is conceived in Jan/Feb the baby would be due in November and could be born any time before. 

 I keep thinking I want to wait to try until June when we originally planned but then part of me is scared that it won't happen right away and I'll be upset... Sorry for the rambling but no one else will understand. I tried talking to a friend about this and they said "why are you planning on another preemie? that is weird." it isn't that I am PLANNING on one, I am planning for one just in case.  the reality is that it may happen again. 

 

Has anyone else taken timing into consideration? i KNOW getting pregnant is not as easy as saying "we will get pregnant on this date" but last time we were really fortunate and it could happen again so am I nuts for planning like this? 

LnR70707

Yes, of course it didn't work out, but my current EDD of 9/2 still puts me in the summer if baby comes early.  We originally planned FET for a late May due date, but a canceled cycle and a BFN got us to where we are now.  If this one had failed, I think we would have taken a few months off, but probably wouldn't have avoided for the entire winter due date time period because our natural chances of pregnancy are so freaking low anyway.

Pips09

We are not TTC, but if/when we do, yes, I have really thought about this. To the point that it's silly. I had complications that required frequent doctors appointments, and a couple of hospitalizations, so I'm afraid to be in the third trimester in the winter, when snow and ice could prevent me from getting to the hospital. I'd also like the baby to be as old as possible before RSV season starts, so *ideally* I'd like to have a spring baby. I feel kind of ridiculous saying it, because you can't really plan it, but I do think about it.

PhillyGal34

L&R70707:

Yes, of course it didn't work out, but my current EDD of 9/2 still puts me in the summer if baby comes early.  We originally planned FET for a late May due date, but a canceled cycle and a BFN got us to where we are now.  If this one had failed, I think we would have taken a few months off, but probably wouldn't have avoided for the entire winter due date time period because our natural chances of pregnancy are so freaking low anyway.

 

First... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

Second, can I ask you a REALLY personal question? you do not have to answer if you do not want to.  are you finding this pregnancy to be more scary? I worry that I won't enjoy a future pregnancy at all because of what happened.  I'm hoping that the natural joy of being pregnant takes over and I am wrong. 

PhillyGal34

Pips09:

We are not TTC, but if/when we do, yes, I have really thought about this. To the point that it's silly. I had complications that required frequent doctors appointments, and a couple of hospitalizations, so I'm afraid to be in the third trimester in the winter, when snow and ice could prevent me from getting to the hospital. I'd also like the baby to be as old as possible before RSV season starts, so *ideally* I'd like to have a spring baby. I feel kind of ridiculous saying it, because you can't really plan it, but I do think about it.

 

I feel the same way. I feel like I am trying to plan for the unplannable but I cannot stop trying.  Part of me feels like if I plan it all out it won't happen since this time I didn't plan for it and it happened.  nuts. I know.  

 

ETA- and you surely are not ridiculous... and if you are you have me for company if you want it!

PhillyGal34

meganole25:

I will. We didn't want a winter/holiday baby the first time around and I'm pretty sure we won't this time either. With preemie thoughts on my mind I'll take an extra 2 months off my EDD with planning to make sure we don't have one too this round. I think I would like a April/May baby the next time around. So maybe try June/July/Aug either when DS is almost 1 or almost 2. I'm a planner by nature so I'll always be thinking about this stuff preemie or no preemie.

 

I am a planner too.   I always told DH that I did not want an August baby because all of our nephews and niece were born within 4 weeks in August and first week of Sept... all 5 of them.  Stupid reason but I wanted our baby to have their own time.  Anyway I ended up being due on 8/5. he had other plans of course and wanted his own month anyway but still, it was not the plan. 

PhillyGal34

meganole25:

PhillyGal34:

meganole25:

I will. We didn't want a winter/holiday baby the first time around and I'm pretty sure we won't this time either. With preemie thoughts on my mind I'll take an extra 2 months off my EDD with planning to make sure we don't have one too this round. I think I would like a April/May baby the next time around. So maybe try June/July/Aug either when DS is almost 1 or almost 2. I'm a planner by nature so I'll always be thinking about this stuff preemie or no preemie.

 

I am a planner too.   I always told DH that I did not want an August baby because all of our nephews and niece were born within 4 weeks in August and first week of Sept... all 5 of them.  Stupid reason but I wanted our baby to have their own time.  Anyway I ended up being due on 8/5. he had other plans of course and wanted his own month anyway but still, it was not the plan. 

Adding to the mix, I would like my EDD for next baby not around current ones bday. I think bedrest will be involved around next time and I would hate to miss his bday either being on bed rest on in the NICU. Bottom line, too much worrying will go into it next time around.

 

I've thought the same thing and worry about bed rest next time.  it's funny because the one thing that my son has taught me is that there is no amount of planning I can do in situations like this that assure the outcome I want but I still will try. I know myself... although worrying won't be good for my BP and that is a horrible cycle haha 

jcsntms06

We didn't really plan when our next would arrive, but we did talk about when we would start (around when DD1 was 18 months). We got pregnant on the first try with both our girls. The second time around it just happen to be in the summer when it happened.

Wally3

I did. My job is seasonal and when we tried for the first we started ttc for a due date that would be right at the end of season (It took a few months so premie missed season anyway).  With the 2nd we didn't start ttc until an edd of 2 months after season (got pg 1st try this time).  Was in the hospital 2 days after season at 32 weeks. luckily they stopped my contractions 3 different times and I made it to 39 weeks.

No I don't think you are crazy to "plan" for a premie. 

 

TriciaandSean

Since I have a germy toddler at home I definitely did take time of year into consideration and luckily it worked out for us.  My baby is due June 8th and my son will still be going to daycare and bringing home germs so I was thankful that cold and flu season should hopefully be done by then.  Of course the baby will be starting daycare in September so it'll be at the beginning of cold and flu season, but at least when they are their smallest and most vulnerable they should hopefully be less germs floating around the air.

kelly321

I definitely had/have in mind the time of year, but for us it was a miscarriage and subsequent lucky first TTCAL cycle that got us our current Feb due date. I think it is perfectly reasonable to "plan" for a preemie, especially if you have a history of premature birth and will obviously have a germy toddler in the house when your 2nd LO is born. I agree with the PP who said that your friend just doesn't understand. You're not hoping to have a preemie, you're acknowledging that your risk of having one is higher and making decisions with that as a factor.

takmjs

With what I have (a severe bicornuate uterus, basically a uterus split in 2 halves), I am 99.9% sure I will have another preemie bc there's just not enough room for baby to grow full-size. Anyway, she was born at 30 weeks and is just over a year old now. The time of year plays a huge part in when we're going to start trying, since we live 90 minutes away from a hospital with a NICU for preemies <35 weeks. I was in that hospital on bed rest for 5+ weeks, then traveled there every day for 7 weeks while she was in the NICU. It was way more driving and worrying about snow/ice than I want for the next baby. We're planning on TTC from October to march, so hopefully that allows for warmer weather during any hospital bedrest I might have and any traveling to the NICU we'll be doing. People would think I was crazy, too, but trust me, we're not. We have enough stress having a preemie, so trying to control a little bit of the timing will hopefully reduce the stress.

 Good luck to you! 

michelleigh24

Your not crazy at all for planning for a preemie. I agree with everything all these women are saying.
We are TTC right now, with my DS we were really lucky and got pregnant the first month. These last few months have not been so easy going and we've had multiple fails. But my original plan of a Sept baby which if I had another preemie put us at July or august work fine. But now were getting pushed back but still timing is ok. I think its important to try and plan what time of year is good for s preemie or if your lucky stay to the original EDD. Good luck!

nicole0066

I didn't even take into consideration cold/flu season!  We have talked about trying to "plan" for a late summer or early fall baby.  I am a teacher and my H would love for me to have the time off work during the end of my pregnancy.  I could take it easy and not have the stress of work to worry about.  That said, my cycles are all wonky and we got really lucky it only took 6 months of ttc for our current LO.

LnR70707

PhillyGal34:

L&R70707:

Yes, of course it didn't work out, but my current EDD of 9/2 still puts me in the summer if baby comes early.  We originally planned FET for a late May due date, but a canceled cycle and a BFN got us to where we are now.  If this one had failed, I think we would have taken a few months off, but probably wouldn't have avoided for the entire winter due date time period because our natural chances of pregnancy are so freaking low anyway.

 

First... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

Second, can I ask you a REALLY personal question? you do not have to answer if you do not want to.  are you finding this pregnancy to be more scary? I worry that I won't enjoy a future pregnancy at all because of what happened.  I'm hoping that the natural joy of being pregnant takes over and I am wrong. 

Thank you!  Actually, much less scary at this point.  At 10w2days with DS I was diagnosed with a huge subchorionic hematoma and was put on modified bedrest for 3 weeks and wasn't considered a normal risk pregnancy until after 24 weeks.  Right now there is no sign of another one so I'm actually feeling like a normal pregnant person.  I think once I get closer to viability and PTL point that will change and I'll start overanalyzing everything, but right now I'm okay.

PhillyGal34

As always you guys make me feel so much more normal.  Thank you all! 

sucrets4

I actually didn't.  We started TTC in October '11 and had 2 c/ps before this one stuck.  I'm 34 so we didn't want to wait.  I'm the GA today that I was when I had DD, so so far so good!  

I guess I'm okay with not having a choice, really.  We waited ttc until we built our house and moved, so it all fell into place.  We also got lucky with DD1 and I got ku the first cycle, but this time cycle 10 was the successful one.  Who knew. 

Tootermi

We planned to avoid another winter baby because after a 10 day NICU stay with my DD1 (35 weeker in January) she was re-hospitalized at 20 days old with RSV. Although all her issues at birth were breathing issues, she didn't meet the requirements for the shots because she was over 35 weeks. I didn't know if I'd be able to carry to full term the second time around, so I wanted to avoid another baby in the winter if I could. We had DD2 in May

BLPL101

I PPROMed at 35 weeks. I was due Jan 17. DH and I specifically avoided TTC in March (due in December) because I didn't want a Christmas baby. She was born 12/17 (also my brother's b-day). Life doesn't go as planned so no, I won't be avoiding any time next time we TTC.