transitions

kat81again2

I know this is kind of a typical toddler problem, but according to daycare (and our experience), I think DS has it worse than average. DS hates transitions. He hates getting changed in the morning ("no pants on!!"). He hates changing again at night ("no pants off!"). He hates sitting down to eat. He hates going outside when it's time to go somewhere. He hates going inside when we've been out. He hates getting in the bath and getting out of it. He obviously hates naps and going to bed. 

It takes forever to get out the door to go to daycare and to get from daycare to dinner to bath to bed. DS refused both naps this weekend. According to daycare, DS is the last one to line up and do whatever they're supposed to do at a specific time (wash hands, go outside, etc), and is the last one to sleep at naptime. 

Any one else going through this? Any tips? I know I just listed a ton of things DS hates but he is overall a VERY happy and easy-going kid. Once he is doing something, he loves what he's doing (which is why he hates changing!) He's not a difficult kid. But this is getting to be a pain, and I think it has gotten worse in the past few months (since we've talked to daycare about it!)

missmuffin87

I only have a little experience with this at the end of bath time (we actually do showers though) and sometimes before bed. 

So with bath time I give her a heads up that we're almost all through with the shower and then I ask her to turn off the shower. That really helps a lot, she like to turn it off and she feels like she's controlling the end of bath time.

At bedtime I give her a couple heads ups that its almost bedtime and it works pretty well.  

PGASTL

We are definitley going through this and our DCP (she has been doing this 15 years) has even mentioned how LO has a little tougher time than usual.

Here are some things that have helped... first of all unless it's necessary, I don't change her clothes. That is a big point of contention for her, so there are many nights she just sleeps in her play clothes. Now, obviously there are times when an outfit is dirty, but for the most part I figure I can choose my battles.

Another thing is that I tell her several times in advance when something is coming. It doesn't help every time, but it does sometimes help. I tell her 10 minutes in advance, 5 minutes, 2 minutes, and 1 minute. Sometimes she still throws a fit, but sometimes it works.

Some other things I haven't yet tried are: making a book showing what the routine will be and reading it over and over again to reinforce how bedtime, or certain transitions will go. Another thing I haven't tried yet is to use the timer on my phone and say "when the timer goes off, it's time to X" - I have heard this helps because it's the timer and not you indicating something is changing.

I have been known to use fruit snacks or other treats to help a transition - when leeaving the playground for example. LO eats VERY healthy, so if it's an occasional thing I don't feel too badly about giving her a sweet treat. Or I let her watch something on my iPhone for 10 minutes, like a Berenstein Bears episode while we get dressed.

GL!

kj07

It definitely helps to give a warning that the transition is coming.  We generally give a 5-minutes until X announcement.  And if it's something we think he's going to have extra trouble with, we give another 2-minutes until X announcement.

We also talk him through several steps - so I'll tell him, "first we're going to eat lunch, then we can play for 5 minutes, and then we'll go upstairs for a new diaper and a nap."  Then I repeat at each new step towards the big transition.

Like missmuffin, I try to give him either a job or a choice.  Usually it's something like "do you want to walk up the stairs by yourself or do you want me to carry you upstairs?" where I'm okay with both options.

And in star's cranky thread I posted a few things that we did to help specifically with daycare transitions.

Good luck, sounds like you have a strong-willed guy on your hands

lrn327

We occasionally have a problem with transitions and also use the "5 minute warning", etc. system.  It often helps smooth things.  I also explain what we're going to do.  For example, we had to take our lovey back to DC today.  I knew he'd want to keep it so explained to him several times that we could carry it in but he'd need to place it in his cubby right away and there were no issues.

heyitsme

No help, but we're going through this, too. And DS is very "methodical" and wants things done in a certain order/way, which can be frustrating, too!