Reintro and Vent

ammare

Hi Everyone,

I haven't been around here for awhile now and wanted to re-introduce myself. We have one DS who is 3 1/2 and are both 35. We have been just doing TI for the past 6 months or so as we try to save money for medicated IUI's and will hopefully be starting those next month. We have been trying for our second for over 2 years now and are considered unexplained after all the testing. MH's SA results are little on the low end, but our RE doesn't think he's too low.

Today is a rough day. I don't know why, but a part of me thought there was a chance that I would end up pregnant while we were waiting to do the IUI's. Then, this month my pms symptoms have been completely different so it gave me some hope. After 2 years of doing this I was still reading into things. Anyways, I'm not pregnant. I just want to climb into bed and cry.  I just don't understand why this isn't happening for us. I've tried to remain hopeful, but I just can't right now.  Does anyone have any advice on how they pick themselves up and feel better? I'm considering maybe contacting a counselor at this point. I'm just really not good right now.

I hope that I will get over this soon and my future post's will be more positive and helpful.

 

 

kofmkg

I remember you.  I'm sorry you're still struggling with TTC.  And I'm especially sorry that it's taken such an emotional toll. 

I've also been more of a lurker in the last few months, mainly b/c I didn't have a diagnosis and we were continuing to try on our own for the last 2 years.  I know that every fall, I also experience real emotional agony that we stilla ren't KU. I dont' ahve any real advice-- just that time and a renewed vow to keep trying until we succeed have helped.  I actually get more bitter when I see others on my birth month board AW their second/third pregancies-- that's when it gets harder and I jsut end up taking a bump break.

But if contacting a counselor would work for you, give it a try.  Maybe your RE can recommend someone who has experience with infertility or offers a support group for their clients. Lots of luck!

laurid75

It is difficult for sure, I'm sorry that you have to go through this.  I think talking to a counselor would probably be a great idea!  I have gone to a counselor in the past for other reasons and each time it really helped me to talk things through with someone completely removed from my life.

This is going to sound really cliche, but it is the truth.  When I get really down about this, I just give my son extra hugs and I spend extra time with him and try to just appreciate what we already have.  I know you already appreciate your other child so i do not mean it like that at all, it is just what helps me focus sometimes on the bigger picture.

74dragonfly

I'm sorry you are feeling sad. I can relate. We have been trying for 2 since Jan 2011. What helps me is to focus on our plan. I am also working on losing weight. I have 30 pounds to lose.
We are moving and then we will find an RE and try IVF.

Kaselleck

We have been trying for over a year and have been back in the fertility world for almost 6 months. Like you, I'm just not in a really good place. I'm actually going to a counselor this weekend because I'm just having such a hard time accepting the fact that I just might never have another baby. Like others here, I try to focus on my kids, and I know that once I get a period and/or start a new cycle, I feel a little better. I'm also going to start acupuncture. Try to take some time to do something just for you. I hope you feel a little better soon. You are not alone!

ammare

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate all the advice and feedback.  I am starting to feel a little bit better. I hate that anyone has to go through this, but it does make me feel a little better to hear from other people that know what this feels like.

I'm hoping that once we finally get going on a medicated cycle that some of the positivity will come back.  I also think that I will be getting in contact with a couselor. I think I've been ignoring how I feel about all this for too long and I need to let some of it out.

 

 

ammare

kofmkg:

I remember you.  I'm sorry you're still struggling with TTC.  And I'm especially sorry that it's taken such an emotional toll. 

I've also been more of a lurker in the last few months, mainly b/c I didn't have a diagnosis and we were continuing to try on our own for the last 2 years.  I know that every fall, I also experience real emotional agony that we stilla ren't KU. I dont' ahve any real advice-- just that time and a renewed vow to keep trying until we succeed have helped.  I actually get more bitter when I see others on my birth month board AW their second/third pregancies-- that's when it gets harder and I jsut end up taking a bump break.

But if contacting a counselor would work for you, give it a try.  Maybe your RE can recommend someone who has experience with infertility or offers a support group for their clients. Lots of luck!

I remember you too! I'm sorry you are still struggling as well.Thank you and I wish you lots of luck also!

 

Jen071407

You took the venting right out of my mouth! I'm on cd2 of yet another cycle I was so hoping wouldn't happen. It's been about 18 months of ttc3 and I think it still hits me like a slap in the face sometimes when I think about how long we've been trying. I've thought about finding a counselor, too, but like a pp mentioned by the time I get to cd4 or 5 I'm focused on the plan for the new cycle and that distracts me. It's such an emotional roller coaster.

hopingforbaby2

I have a very similar situation.  I also have a 3 1/2 year old DS and have been ttc #2 for 2 years and have unexplained IF.  It is so hard, especially when all my friends have already had their second babies and i'm still not pregnant!  i have some good days and some days where i just feel so hopeless and angry.  The only thing that gets me out of funk is my DS and realizing how happy he makes me and how lucky I am to have him.  Right now i've decided to take a break from the RE.  That whole process is so stressful for me.  So in the mean time i've been doing acupuncture, which has helped me feel less stressed and more relaxed and i'm just going with the flow hoping it will just happen!  Talking to a professional never hurts and i'm thinking i might be headed in that direction as well!  i hope we can all be off this board soon!