announcing pregnancy to distant family — The Bump
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announcing pregnancy to distant family

Hi All,

I just got my BFP a few days ago after 4 months TTC.  Hubby and I are Americans living in St. Kitts.  We are trying to decide how/when to tell family we are expecting.  Hubby wants to spill the beans soon, where I am more cautious (and secretive!)

I am trying to figure out how it's best to tell family who are all back in the U.S.  My parents are coming to visit in April, when we will be about 14 weeks.  I'm trying to decide if I can keep this secret that long, as I feel it'd be cool to tell them in person.  However, we could also do it via phone or skype.

How and when did you tell your family back home that you were expecting?

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Re: announcing pregnancy to distant family

  • We told family friends at 12 weeks. We sent an email to my inlaws with a picture of our oldest holding a sign that said "I'm a big sister." She was 8 at the time so everyone, including us, thought she'd be an only.
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  • We got pregnant after 2 rounds of IVF so I was paranoid. We didn't tell anyone until 13 weeks and then only our parents and step kids/nieces we are raising. My family is in the Netherlands and I just emailed them. Pretty boring an unexciting but that is how we correspond. I do talk to my sister on the phone (now Skype which we didn't use back then) but I never talk to my parents on the phone, always just email). We didn't tell anyone else until after my 20 week US (except a small number of people who knew we did IVF, they found out as soon as we got pregnant).
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  • Congrats! With DD we told my parents on the phone just a few days after I got my BFP, mostly because I was having horrendous cramping and was convinced I was miscarrying, so it wasn't the happiest announcement ever: "Well, I'm pregnant, but I'm almost sure I'm miscarrying." We told my extended family via skype at Thanksgiving when I was 13w.

    With my m/c we told my parents after the first u/s showed that things were not looking like they should and I might have a blighted ovum. We had planned on waiting to tell them until we went to the US 2 weeks later, but because things didn't look good and there was even a chance we'd have to fly a few days later if I started miscarrying the day before the flight, we told them right away. I ended up miscarrying 3 days after we got to the US.

    With this pregnancy, we were in the States at the time, so we told DH's parents via skype around 6w. Our "policy" is to tell immediate family pretty much right away and extended family after 1st tri.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I got my BFP the morning before I flew back to the States for the holidays, so I had to tell my parents right away. They would have known I was acting funny. The first thing my mom did when I walked in the door was offer me wine! Same with my siblings, I told them when I saw them that weekend. 

    I wasn't going to tell the extended family but they all guessed right away when we were at my brother's wedding (I was super bloated!).

    It is nice telling people in person but if we hadn't been at home, I would have waited until a good doc visit before spreading the news, but not necessarily 13 weeks.   

    Cape Town, South Africa Pregnancy Ticker
  • We told our entire families at 4 weeks. Just call and tell them or skype
    TTC since May 2012; BFP July 31st, 2012; EDD April 13th, 2013 BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker Anniversary
  • Congrats on your pregnancy. The first time I got my BFP I ended up telling people due to the fact that I had to have emergency surgery as it was so early and no one knew I was pregnancy. (one of the worse phone calls I ever had to make to my mom). I had planned on telling them in person a week later when I would have been back in the states.

    Second BFP: I told my mom, sisters, and BFF over gchat at around 7 weeks when we knew it was a vital able pregnancy.

    I told the rest of my close family around 16 weeks when I was back stateside.

    I think next time if it is possible I will wait to do it in person if I can. Nothing beats telling family in person though over video chatting is not a bad way either. 

    image
    BFP #1 6.9.12 EDD 2.16.13 Ended in emergency surgery due to an ectopic 6.23.13
    BFP #2 9.6.13  Rainbow born 5.22.13
    BFP# 3 8.28.14 EDD 5.1.15  2nd u/s revealed Twins   m/c 9.21.14 
    BFP # 4 11.27.14 EDD 8.5.15  1 perfect bean @ 6 weeks


  • With DD I tried sending a pic to my parents digital frame via email bc they have one that's hooked up to the Internet, but it didn't work. So I ended up emailing them and my siblings a "coming soon" ultrasound pic. We waited until we saw the HB at 8w and I loved having that secret with just dh. I told work 2w later as I was scheduled for heavy travel and was really sick.

    With DS we were scheduled to go to the US when I was 13w so DD wore a "big sister in charge" shirt and my parents met us at the airport.
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