Tips on baby registries when you want organic items

MinnesotanMom

I'm looking for tips on how to handle our baby registries.

Most of the big items (strollers, car seats, etc.) that we want are way too expensive to register for so we are just buying those on our own.  We have registered for a few items that are much less expensive than our very large items but still expensive, like the Baby Bjorn Playyard.

But even for smaller items, the things we want are more expensive than usual, e.g. we mostly want wooden toys, organic clothing, etc. We have registered for a ton of stuff around the $25 range (some less), so it's not an issue that everything we've registered for is crazy expensive. More the problem is that people who buy off the registry will get "less for their money" than if we were registering for more of the standard items.

My mother-in-law reacted negatively to this and encouraged us to register for other items.  I considered registering for items we will not want and then returning them, but I think I decided we are not comfortable with doing this.  We can afford the items we want, and it seems inappropriate to register for things that we only intend to return.  I am also sensitive, though, to annoying people or being judged.

Any tips for me?

AKB090609

Register for what you want, people may or may not choose to buy items off your registry. All that matters is that you are a gracious recipient of any gift that you receive. If you decide an item is not something useful to you it is your choice to return or donate it, so long as you thank the giver and don't get your panties in a twist because it was 'off registry'.

MinnesotanMom

Thanks.  I do not expect people to choose items on our registry.  Depending on what we receive, we might not keep it, but we would definitely thank the person and would not be rude about it.  Nonetheless, my MIL thinks our registry is inappropriate because people will want to buy more standard items.

MKC12/22/2006

I would never register for stuff we don't want. When people take the time to buy off your registry, they're doing it knowing that these are items you want.

This summer, a friend got married, and his wife only had items fifty dollars or more on the registry. We didn't want to spend that much, so we gave them a gift card. Problem solved.

Ask for what you want and ignore MIL.

bethCT

I generally lurk here, but really, you need to get over her and move on.  you are starting a long battle of other people telling you what to do and how to raise your child.  you need to be strong enough to say, tnis is what we are doing, point blank.  this is your child, she needs to get over herself!

MrsAB1316

Put your big items on your registry, anyway, so that your completion discount can be used on it. 

Athena0809

The PPs are right, you can't just register for unwanted items and I encourage you to add the big items too, I was surprised to get out high chair and travel system at my shower!

About the green/organic items; are there any natural parenting/cloth diaper stores in your city? Because many have registries. My local natural parenting store has anything from cloth diapers to toys and their registry allows for people to pool their money with someone else to buy more expensive items like an ergo or a boba. GL!

fairbl

Uhg...this takes me back to the battles with my mil all over again. First i'm sorry that she isn't open to the way you would like to parent. For me, pointing out that i wanted one thing when she had other plans always caused drama because she took it as me saying that she was a bad mom. I would register for what you want. When she says something negative about the organic baby shampoo you could just say something along the lines of oh i read that is a really good brand. Our big fight is always over diapers because we use cloth and she keeps buying 'sposies for our girls. I just tell her that we still haven't used up all of the ones she bought last time and end up selling them at a moms' sale. Good luck. We have yet to find a good balance.

BriDaily

Create a registry through MyRegisty.com! It is super easy and you can link existing registries from other stores to your online one. People can see what you have listed on there and then try to find better deals, say on Amazon or something! I have done this for the sprinkle we are having for our soon-to-be-born daughter (we already have a son), just to fill in odds and ends.

It is totally okay to put those pricier items on your registry! Even if people do not purchase them individually, a few friends may choose to get together to purchase a larger item, or they can get gift cards to help cover the expense. 

Also, when having a baby shower, consider doing a "Green" theme. I saw a really awesome idea for this online! Have invites that are made from recycled paper, purchase a second hand outfit for the big day, use eco-friendly paperware and utensils, etc. The color of course, should be green! Encourage guests to bring gifts in reusable cloth bags (for mommy when she grocery shops!) or find other creative ways to wrap gifts! It is really important that whoever hosts a shower for you understands why you are concerned about these things and includes a brief note about how you want to raise your child... or simply that you are "Going Green!"

It is always fun to come up with a little rhyming poem to hit the point home! "Blank and blank are Going Green for their precious baby, yet to be seen! Wooden toys and woolly dolls, organic clothes/cloth diapers will line their halls!" I totally just came up with that on the spot! Feel free to use it

Best of luck! 

MinnesotanMom

Thanks for all of the tips!  I appreciate it.

Switzerland87

Register for the things that you want and, honestly, most  people will probably buy off your registry. Most people I know rely on registries to get a grasp on what the registrants actually need. Sure, some will buy off registry, but you don't have to keep the items that you don't want. 

The things your MIL are saying are only her opinion and her feelings. That's all. Not everyone will look at your registry and think those things.

 

trudibell

My mother in law hates the fact that we are going to cloth diaper the baby and make the baby all of his own food rather than go the normal canned food/disposable diaper route - and we have to live with her for the foreseeable future.   My step-mother-in-law has repeatedly criticized our registry for various things (not being at the right store...not registering at Target...too many registries not at places she likes...hurting peoples feelings if we have to return things).  I'm sensitive to it too.  You just have to get a thick skin.  People are going to be annoying, and people are going to judge you unfortunately.  I am sensitive to it too, but you just have to be gracious and say "thanks" and keep moving.