2nd Baby - Shower Ettiquette

MrsLBurton

Ok, I know there have been other questions asked in regards to this but I have the following question...

 My SIL, MIL and "Aunt-in-law" want to throw us a couples shower for the new baby (our daughter is almost 3 1/2).  The new baby is a boy and they insist that everyone in the family wants to get boy things and just help us out because they know there are things we still want/need.  They want us to invite a few friends (couples) and then it will be mostly family.

I said this would be great (although I hadn't expected to have a shower) but I didn't expect to register.  I just thought people would bring boy items (clothes, etc...).  However they insisted I register, so I did....and now I feel kinda strange about it.  Is it going to look greedy when SIL/MIL send out the invites and they say where we are registered...etc?  Should I just ask them to leave that info off the invite and then, if/when people ask, they can tell them where we are registered?  Or should I just not worry about it?

Like I said, it will be mostly DH's family and about 20 of our friends (10 couples) who are invited.  My mom is planning to throw us a party AFTER the baby is born so people can come meet him.  Nothing will be mentioned on THAT invite about the registry.

Suggestions?  TIA!

EastCoastBride

My mom is planning to throw us a party AFTER the baby is born so people can come meet him. 

Have one or the other.  Seriously.  Having a shower for a 2nd baby AND then this other "meet the baby" party - it's coming off as VERY gift grabby (people would show up at the "meet the baby" party w/ cute outfits and what not for a boy anyhow!).  I personally would go w/ the "after" party and politely decline the offer of a shower.

It's great that everyone is excited.  Yes, babies should be celebrated - but - if I were invited to both of these events for a 2nd child, I would be wondering "what else do you want from me?". 

kmkaull

All I can tell you is that I buy second babies one gift.  For first babies, I always do a shower gift (from a registry) and then a gift after the birth.  Why in the world would you need to register for a second child?  Don't you have baby stuff coming out the ying-yang?

 

 

RoxyLynn

No matter how well-intentioned, a shower for a second-time Mom is simply inappropriate.  It comes off as greedy - and very greedy to have a registry, a shower for #2, AND a meet-the-baby party.

hopefulmom

Why don't you hold the shower or meet the baby party as one...after the baby is born.  Obvioulsy you don't need anything immediately since you've already had a child and newborns do not need much anyway.  I think it looks greedy to have too showers/parties.  Ask your hostesses not to add the registry info in the invite.  If people call...they can be told where you are registered.

jbo610

If you feel like you must have a shower then I would invite only family.  Then you can still have the meet the baby party and your friends will not feel like you are asking them for more gifts. 

Bcbscorp

Im planning a shower for my friend and I think it's completely absurd that showers for 2nd time moms are considered in any way tacky! Seriously?? It's about showering the family and the baby, it must suck to have to start your life off with all hand me down as to not break some crazy etiquette rule. I have never heard of this before, just crazy! 

ADMIREDSEAZON

I'm pregnant for the second time, my mom, aunt and I were just talking about this. I don't feel its cool to have a shower for this baby. If anyone wants to get something great, but otherwise I really like a meet the baby party. The only thing about that is I'm very protective of newborns, so not many people will be able to come around for about 2 months. I don't know what I'm going to do.

My mom and I agree, but my aunt (her sister) seems to feel she needs to throw a shower. I really don't have many friends around here (just moved), so I think it would be best to just leave it alone. DH and I will do our best to make sure 2nd baby will have everything he needs.

Emmy323

I have to disagree. I think there is nothing wrong with having a small second shower especially if this baby is a different gender.

I also like the idea of a meet the baby party. Perhaps in that invitation you could write, "Gifts not necessary" that way if people WANT to bring a gift they can, but won't feel obligated to do so. You also won't look greedy!

3PupsAndABaby

not for nothing but i've always thought that a 2nd baby shower is way tacky! you got presents the first time around. especially if you're child is that close in age. i've been to a baby shower for a 2nd child cause the first one was 11 years old. that's acceptable but not if its under like 7 years old!