Shower - I know this has been asked before

missred75

My sisters really want to throw me a baby shower. I don't know if we should go all out with it like I might if I were actually pregnant, or if we should do something smaller with just very close family/friends and then a larger "meet the baby" party later. Did any of you do a big shower?

Dr.Loretta

We had a large-ish one (30 people I think?) when DD was 7 weeks. All out as far as gifts, etc.

ETA: We were matched after DD's birth. And work offered to throw me a shower as well, but that obviously didn't happen. I think it would have been somewhat involved, considering who was offering to do it.

MayDayGirl

I would do the big one after.

raecheleblue1

We waited until after and are having 3 smaller "sip and sees" for everyone to meet DD.  The second, family, one is tomorrow!  Dd is 12 weeks old and we probable would have done them earlier but the holidays made that impossible.

sarahtoledo

I'm really excited for a big shower before we match (but after the home study).  I deliberately didn't want to have one after a match, in case things didn't work out as planned.  I have joked that we should rent out an arena for all the people whose showers I've thrown and gone to.  

srmmm09

If you'd like one, have a big huge shower! I love celebrations and have had HUGE showers and love them! I'm sure your friends are so excited for you.

Since we're adopting a toddler (and s/he'll be our second), we may just have a little shower once we get our referral, and a big party on either his/her next birthday or on the first anniversary of our court approval. We wouldn't have a bug bday party if s/he hasn't had enough time to bond and feel comfortable around a lot of people.

None of that second paragraph applies to you; I just like to talk about me  

jackieo1309

My mom, sister and MIL have been talking about throwing me a shower forever so we agreed to do one while we were waiting (but before match). Well we were lucky enough to be contacted by EM after waiting only a month so now the shower will be after the match. It's hard for me now to think about this being a shower for "our baby" and not necessarily "this baby", just in case things don't work out. That was how I had thought about the shower before but it's so much harder when there is a specific baby to think about, esp because we know the gender but can't really plan around it. So they are still throwing me a full shower in March (baby is due early May) and then we might still have a meet-the-baby party after. My mom keeps wanting to invite a ton of people to the shower and I know DH keeps trying to get her to cut it back a little. We're just trying, as much as possible, to keep it not specific to this baby (I don't want any part in planning it but I was very adamant about no girl themes!). For me I think it's helping to keep me positive a little (even if this isn't our baby, there is another baby coming that is ours) but do whatever you feel comfortable with. You ARE "expecting", even if you're not physically pregnant, so don't feel bad about having a big baby shower if your sisters want to throw one and it makes you happy

kmkaull2

Depends how you feel.  We had a few big showers after baby arrived and TPR was signed.  I didn't want to risk the heartache of a lot of baby stuff lying around if the adoption did not work out.  Plus, it was lots of fun to have the baby there.

On the other hand, we had to buy a lot of things that people typically receive at showers.  Not a big deal, but since we all have to watch our budgets when adopting, it is something to consider.

Art Teacher

My family asked what we preferred.  We waited until after TPR was signed.  DD was born in Sept., TPR was signed in Oct., and the shower was in early Nov.  DD went to the shower with me, so everyone got to meet her. 

It was pretty big - probably 50 people at least.  It was held in a restaurant.  My coworkers also threw a shower for us at my school.

I think it's just a personal preference. 

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sgb721

I'm struggling with this a lot actually. IDK- I've accepted we won't be able to have biological children but then when I realized that just everything was going to be different it hurt. Its so incredibly stupid to be stuck on but I was sad when I realized that my family wasn't up to throwing us a shower prior to bringing home a baby (various reasons). I mean of course I get it, but it still makes me sad. I am one of those people who hate being different (I moved around a lot as a kid) and so.. I feel like this is just one more way I'm 'different.' Honestly, if my family was supportive I would love a shower before we're matched as we're expecting and its no different to me then if we were pregnant, but seeing how things are I think we're going to do a Baby-Q or a Sip and See after baby is home with us.

nyki06

One of my close friends had a large shower thrown for her when she got her referral from Columbia. I think that adoption showers are even more special than typical baby showers because they are not as common and usually involve a larger waiting period. My friend is very introverted so this wasn't super comfortable for her but she was glad that she went along with it during/after the fact. Either way you are being "showered into motherhood" so I don't see the difference between becoming a mother biologically or through adoption.