Blended Families
Mediation.......
So my DH and BM had mediation last night. Let me just say she is a joke!!!! Ill make it short. My husband Is asking for more time. And asking that his rights as a father be respected and that BM boyfriend knows his role and doesnt control what happens to their daughter and what not. He has SD call him dad and so does Bm. Well she said that wasn't going to happen. She said that she will not give him more time. That he does not need to know her address nor does he need her cell phone. That he has her bf number if anything comes up. She also said " what do you want me to give you my address so your lawyer can serve me yeah right. It's none of your business where I live.* Even though court order says something completely different.* So my husband calmly stood up and apologized to the mediators for their wasted time but that as they could see he had a better chance going to court. That nothing was going to get done here and calmly got up. I honestly do not know what is wrong with her or what her problem is. So our lawyer is going to have a private investigator look into her address and look in her BF and see what he can find. So we can go to court with this. We also found out that where she is living at is through a voucher and she has her bf living with her. And as it comes out she is not allowed to have anyone live with her because she isn't claiming anyone else's income or anything of the sort and that is why she is receiving crazy government assistance. I just wish this was over, but we are not going to give up. We have to build more of a bigger case than we already have, even though if we were to go to court right now she would pretty much be screwed. She is soooo ignorant and immature. The mediators tried to make her see what my husband was saying but she made it all about her self. We knew she was just going to mediation to stall things.Gah sorry im venting but it's just so fn annoying. I don't understand how a mother could be so selfish and try to deny any more time to her child with her father. But oh if and when it comes to money.. SD is so his daughter... Any tips on what to do and what else to ask for when we go to court would be appreciated. I have a feeling this is going to take some time and patience. Thanks In advance for all the help and advice.
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Re: Mediation.......
I know it's annoying because it didn't work, but mediation was a necessary step. A judge probably would have ordered them there anyway before proceeding with a trial. So try not to view it as a total waste.
DH needs to have his lawyer file contempt charges, in addition to filing for a change in custody if they have a standing order that says she must provide contact information and she isn't doing it.
When you do go back to court you need to fight for a non-parental alienation clause in your agreement, and if it were me, I'd ask for court-ordered counseling for SD. She's going to need someone she can talk to who is apart from the toxicity of this battle. And you will need someone who can let you know if SD is showing signs of being brainwashed or mentally abused.
Not sure how old SD is, but does she have a way of contacting DH if she needed to? I'd try to make that a priority. A boyfriend making her calling him "dad" would frighten me. I guess it's better than him hating her and being mean to her. I think you are on the right track. I think it's great that DH was able to be so calm at mediation!! I wouldn't have been able to do the same. Getting SD into therapy is a great idea, but check to make sure that you can do that without BM's permission, or make sure to include her so you don't get into trouble.
If she can't be served I'm pretty sure the court can run a notice to appear in your local paper. If she doesn't show, they can put out a bench warrant for her arrest. You'd have to ask your lawyer to be sure though.