Trouble TTC

My husband doesn't ejaculate during sex. :(

My husband doesn't ejaculate during sex... We've been dealing with this for a long time, but now that we want to have a baby, it's become a real issue. We think it may be psychological since he's able to ejaculate when he masturbates. He's going to a doc about it, but in the meantime, it's been so hard for me to just sit in wait because I really want a baby and am just ready. it's also hard not really being able to talk to anyone about this, so I'm writing here in so I can sort of just let out my frustration and to see if anyone else is dealing with this sort of thing at the moment.

Re: My husband doesn't ejaculate during sex. :(

  • I agree with PP, I was also thinking while reading your post to consider IUI, good luck and welcome to our board.
    Me: 32, DH: 34.
    Trying since Jan 2011. Unexplained IF.
    2 IUIs = BFN.
    1 IVF (Dec 2013) = BFN.
    FET, 2 frosties (June 13, 2014)

    14dp5dt-June 27 -BFP, beta 2061. 2nd beta >5000, 3rd beta >5000, 2 sacs 06/30.
    Twin Girls - 02/11/15 - at 37 weeks (no NICU, home with me at 3 days).
  • YGPM
    Me:37 DH:40 Married 7/2009 TTC since 5/2012 
    BFP 4/2013, Our Christmas Miracle Due 12/18/2013
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  • I completely understand your frustration. My DH has never been able to ejaculate either during sex but can through masturbation. There are so many feelings this can bring up and it can be very difficult to deal with. I will send you a private message here shortly once I'm not mobile bumping. Just know you aren't alone in this while you might feel no one else has this problem, there are others out there...

    TTC #1 Since 7/2011

    Me: 30, PCOS with anovulation
    DH: 38, Low Morph & DE
    Rx: Metformin 500mg

    Cycle #1: Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel = No Response, Canceled
    Cycle #2: Clomid 150mg + Ovidrel = No Response, Canceled
    Cycle #3: Clomid 150mg + Follistim + Ovidrel = No response, Canceled

    Cycle #4: Femara 7.5mg + Gonal-f + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP!!!!


    ~ EDD 03.26.14 ~

  • Hey1

     I'm new here and I'm here for the same reason you are - my husband is a 'delayed ejaculator' - he ejaculates during masturbation, but not during sex. It doesn't seem to be medical, but something we have to work on. It's difficult when you're trying to conceive - so very frustrating at times.

     You are not the only one!

  • Lurker, I also know of someone who has this exact problem. They have done artificial insemination at home (intravaginal or intracervical, intrauterine cannot be done at home) and had success after a couple months. Here is a website that explains it.

  • My husband and I started TTC in November 2011. I am 28 and he is 34.

    My husband has the same issue. I used to get depressed and think it was me but he said that it is physiological. I Instead, i've given him the option of doing it himself into a baggie or an instead cup. I either then use a syringe to insert the sperm or just insert the cup itself.

    What kind of treatment is your husband undergoing?

    ******Siggy Warning**************

    Me 29 - no known issues ( Highest FSH 10.1??) 
    DH- 36 - quite the perfect man!
    TTC since 1/2011
    IUI #1 March 2012 
    BETA #1  BFP
    B/O at 6 weeks D&C @ 10 weeks 
    IUI #2-7 (2012)= BFN
    IVF  Jan 14 - Follistim, Ganirelix
    22R, 8M, 8F
    ET  (1-14-14) - 1 Grade A 8 cell = BFN
    FET (2-18-14)  1 grade A 12 cell and one early morula!
    BETA #1 (3-3-14) =1,389  p4 17.4
    BETA #2  (3-5-14) = 4,553 u/s showed one small g sac
    U/S #2      (3-17-14) Shows two little beans with heartbeats!!! TWINS!! 
                                       Heartbeats were 119 & 120 beans measured (6 weeks 1 day) (6 weeks 2 days)
    found out at 20 weeks that baby B went to heaven
    11/12/14 Baby girl arrived :)
    FET (1-24-16) Grade A early morula 
    BETA #1 300 p4. 11.1 
    BETA#2 1300
    u/s d 1 tiny babe :)
    10/7/16 another sweet baby girl
    4/18 SURPRISE + HPT 
    Beta #1 6 weeks 16,202 p4. 13.2

  • I am SO happy to read I am not alone!!  I have the exact same problem.  We have been TTC since October 2012.  It has really caused some major stress for us in our marriage.  If those 14 or so months, we actually took several off because he was unsure what he wanted as a result of the stress.  It doesn't make the situation better to know that others are dealing with it but I am very grateful to have others to talk about this with as it's not something that you can really talk about to friends or family.
    I find it most hard that I try to read my signs so carefully to make sure that if we do an IUI (an idea I brought up to him and after many months, he seems ok with trying) it will be at the right time.  Sometimes my signs are very obvious, and other months, not.  I am already 34 and he's 39.  I feel very ready to do this NOW (last year actually) but am constantly working on trying to keep calm and relaxed as I know the stress won't help me ovulate.
    Is there anything any of you have with regards to specific recommendations to have him do? Or someone to talk to about it?
    Thank-you for this post!  I really appreciate you sharing!
  • Thanks for the feedback and ideas!
  • Sorry that I have been away from this post for so long, but I figured I'd give you an update.

    With my husband, it's a psychological thing that he's working on, but hasn't actually worked out yet. So now we are trying IUI. Crossing fingers.

    And good luck to all you ladies in the same boat. My husband actually was surprised to hear other people are going through the same thing. May be something your partners would like to hear as well, so they don't feel emasculated.
  • PomMom73PomMom73 member
    edited March 2014
    Hey linkblue,

    New to the boards and first time commenting. I'm also experiencing this. It wasn't such an issue before we started trying, but now I'm a bit freaked. I'm over 35, so there's not much time to waste. I am really torn- trying to be a good partner to him but at the same time, this is really upsetting me and I have no one to discuss it with IRL because I don't feel comfortable. I can't tell my Mom, friends, etc. I am so glad you reached out and shared, because I am really stressed.

  • Ladies I have to say I am so happy I found this post. My husband and I are dealing with the same issue and I felt very alone until now. I didn't have anyone to talk to who understands. I'd love to know how you all made out and if you were able to conceive/how you were able to. Thanks again!
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