Tearing!

Tiffypoo11

I am pregnant with my first and VERY excited!

One thing that I am terrified of though is tearing!

I know its kind of early to be worying about it, but right now it is my biggest fear.

Any advice on how to prevent this?

amarissa85

I am sorry you are going to get snark on this one. Are you serious? This really should be one of your least concerns. *eye roll* Look up perineal massage but even that may not prevent you from tearing. 

Soleil3

Yup, very early to worry about it

And in the scheme of things, I had a 2nd degree tear and it wasn't the end of the world. 

To avoid, you can do perineal massage, and most important, have a good doctor who knows how to tell when its too much. My first I tore, my second I didn't. My second my doctor paid attention and didn't let me push every time I wanted, and gave myself time to stretch properly. 

And also, don't get an episiotomy.  Studies now show that a tear heals much better than a cut

BellaOso

This may not be extremely helpful, but it was my huge fear as well.

I ended up with a 2nd degree tear, and I didn't really care at all in the moment. You don't even notice the doctor sewing you up or anything, you are too busy being excited about having the baby, labor being over, etc. to even get too worked up over it. 

Afterwards I used "Dermaplast" antibacterial and numbing spray and some tucks pads on a maxi pad with a little antibiotic foam the hospital gave me. I  healed in 10 days.

It sounds weird to stay your lady bits being ripped is not that bad, but with all the other indignities, and uncomfortable moments in child birth, the tearing is no a big deal. 

There is some massage technique you can try with olive oil and assistance from you spouse. I'm sure someone else will mention it. 

bananatiff

2nd degree tearing here and it was the back of my mind. Not a big deal and it healed fine. There are scarier things happening during labor like your baby going into distress. Just know it happens and it's repairable.

BoxerMom21

bananatiff:

2nd degree tearing here and it was the back of my mind. Not a big deal and it healed fine. There are scarier things happening during labor like your baby going into distress. Just know it happens and it's repairable.

This!  There are so many other things going on this was the least of my worries during labor and once we got home I was more concerned with keeping my baby happy and healthy.  It heals and you move on.  NBD.

Dunny15

Not everyone tears!! I had three stitches and only had 5 and half hours labour, my sister didnt tear at all on her first. Everyone Is different so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just try not to push too early in labour, only push when ur body makes u not when ur midwife tells u to!

KARMEN806

IM A 1ST TIMER AS WELL, i HEAR STARTING KEGELS NOW WILL HELP.

wifemomnurse

Congrats on your first!!! Pregnancy is so exciting and scary all at the same time. Don't listen to negative comments from others. Everyone fears different things. With my first I was so afraid of tearing and pooping on the table and everyone rolled their eyes at me too : I didn't get to experience a vaginal delivery due to complications. Unfortunately there is so much that can/will happen and when the moment comes you won't care at all. The only thing you will be thinking about is meeting that sweet little baby for the first time! It's so worth it, no matter what happens to get him/her here :

MandaPanda518

I hear fisting helps.

No, but seriously, I had a 2nd degree tear. It was uncomfortable but not that big of a deal. Ice pack pads and numbing spray are the best things ever.  I think I would be more worried about a 29 hour labor, 12 hours which were without an epidural on pitocin. Or just try not to worry about anything because it's kind of out of your control.

Mrs JillB

MandaPanda518:

I hear fisting helps.

No, but seriously, I had a 2nd degree tear. It was uncomfortable but not that big of a deal. Ice pack pads and numbing spray are the best things ever.  I think I would be more worried about a 29 hour labor, 12 hours which were without an epidural on pitocin. Or just try not to worry about anything because it's kind of out of your control.

lol to the first sentence.

Other than the, I had a third degree tear, and honestly, everything was all healed up very well by 6 weeks. The numbing spray was the best! I sprayed a ton right on the pad and it was like heaven. Then after about two weeks, all was good. I'm so hoping I get a vaginal birth this time. 

kwhite27

I understand your fears.  It is my first too and I keep hearing all these horror stories of 2nd and 3rd degree tears, so its hard not to freak out about it. 

I had a good chat with my Mum and sister (and I can see on some of these ladies previous posts) that it really isnt something to get too worked up about.  My Mum didnt tear at all with all 3 kids and she went all natural; so that was comforting.  My sister did tear; but she said it wasnt a bit deal.  I am sure there is some discomfort after the fact, but we are a bunch of tough b!tches and we can do this!!  LOL. 

I agree with one PP though that opt out of the episiotomy if you have the choice.  I have heard MANY women say that a natural tear is far better and you heal much quicker. 

amberyintar

MandaPanda518:

I hear fisting helps.

No, but seriously, I had a 2nd degree tear. It was uncomfortable but not that big of a deal. Ice pack pads and numbing spray are the best things ever.  I think I would be more worried about a 29 hour labor, 12 hours which were without an epidural on pitocin. Or just try not to worry about anything because it's kind of out of your control.

LMAO!!!! Thank you, I seriously needed that laugh right now! Hahaha.

MommyAmes2

Meh, it isn't the end of the world.

I was more concerned about pushing the baby out, it was painful and tearing was the last thing on my mind.

ETA: I had a 1st degree tear with my first (she was only 5 lbs 3 oz). I didn't tear at all with my second (he was 6 lbs 14oz).

janneann1127

I had very minor tearing, and I think the reason is because they made me wait an hour to push. Even though there were 5 docs in my practice, not ONE was available at the hospital so I had to wait over an hour for the doc to show up. I wanted to push soooooo bad but they wouldn't let me. I think that's the reason I really didn't tear much. And the recovery was honestly very easy.. I never felt any pain down there at all.

If I were you, I'd fear those contractions. :-)

macdidlyicious

 It's a valid thing to think about. Certainly doesn't deserve an eye roll as much as the other nonsense I've seen out there.

Um..you notice them sewing up your vagina if you didn't have an epidural - I sure as hell noticed. I tore on my labia, not perineum. 

perineal massage before giving birth and perineal support from your doctor while you're pushing will help with tears in that area. You should talk to your doc about it.

atyler727

Geez people, she has the right to be scared over whatever she wants.  You can't tell her that her feelings are wrong just because it's not what YOU think her biggest worry should be.  I'm worried my husband will puke, slip in his own vomit and end up with a concussion, sorry if I'm worrying over the wrong thing.......

Lynchabbi

Don't feel bad I have the same fear.

Beckylouwho

I guess I'm the weird one here because I had an episiotomy (per my request). From the very beginning I told my doctor that I would rather him cut me (he was happy to here me say that because he said it is much more difficult to stitch up a tear). I have heard horror stories of tearing and didn't want to go through it if it could be avoided. I know that studies show that tearing is better... blah blah blah, but personally, I had 5 stitches which healed very quickly and were only itchy the first few days. I don't know for sure what is medically better but if it is looking like a will tear again this time, I'll ask for an episiotomy.

bananatiff

atyler727:

Geez people, she has the right to be scared over whatever she wants. nbsp;You can't tell her that her feelings are wrong just because it's not what YOU think her biggest worry should be. nbsp;I'm worried my husband will puke, slip in his own vomit and end up with a concussion, sorry if I'm worrying over the wrong thing.......

No your worry is totally valid. For realz.

PrimRoseMama

Even if you tear you won't know until your doctor or midwife tells you. I had a med free birth.

You can start massaging the perineum [your partner can help you too] towards the end of your pregnancy with lubricant or olive oil. It can help with elasticity.

Your OB and/or midwife usually will bath your vulva in oil and gently massage during labor. When the baby is crowning they may ask you to slow down a bit and help massage the skin.

In the end though, it's out of your control. If you tear, then you tear. It sounds scary, but its really not that bad. You get stitches and go on.

It's a common misconception that your vulva and vagina look different or mangled after a tear. Barring extreme situations that require reconstructive surgery, your vulva doesn't look horrible when you are done healing. It will be swollen and tender for a while, but that goes away eventually. Make good use of the ice packs they give you to put in your undies.

Soleil3

atyler727:

Geez people, she has the right to be scared over whatever she wants.  You can't tell her that her feelings are wrong just because it's not what YOU think her biggest worry should be.  I'm worried my husband will puke, slip in his own vomit and end up with a concussion, sorry if I'm worrying over the wrong thing.......

What is the point of this? Of ALL threads, I didn't even see anything negative in this one. 

And add your H passing out from having blood squirted on him while they insert the IV thing to your list of legit concerns

aishaweatherford

You must be like me! I worry about everything!!! Especially that and pooping while im pushing! My best friend had a baby 9 months ago  and she said all that will happen but you dont even notice whats going on and once the baby is out you dont even care. But this makes me happy that im not the only one that thinks that far ahead!

 

 

 

 

RealityJunkie

I think there are certain things you can do to TRY to prevent it from happening, but I really believe that you can't do anything foolproof to prevent it. It all depends on your skin, the baby's position, how fast it comes out, etc etc etc. 

I had a tear. The healing process was painful, but I healed. It takes about two weeks. Not only that, If you deliver vaginally, Its going to be sore whether or not you tear. I was more worried that the doctor would have to cut!

Try to think about your adorable baby instead of the tear ;-)

caramia582

amarissa85:

I am sorry you are going to get snark on this one. Are you serious? This really should be one of your least concerns. *eye roll* Look up perineal massage but even that may not prevent you from tearing. 

I don't think this is worthy of snark or an eyeroll. it's perfectly normal to be nervous about certain parts of pregnancy/childbirth and frankly I can understand why she'd be scared of that.

OP, I tore and never would have known if I hadn't overheard the Dr. tell the nurse she was putting a stitch in.  If you get an epidural you won't even feel it.  It may be sore after but just ice it and you'll be fine.  The worst part of it for me was the scar tissue made sex painful for about 6 months, but that eventually got better.  With most things, the anticipation of it is worse than actually experiencing (at least in the majority of cases). 

lynn97

OP, don't listen to all the horror stories out there. In the end, it is all fine, I promise!! I had a third degree tear/episiotomy and it was fine. Honestly, it was sore to sit on for a few days and itched while it healed. I used my peri bottle with warm water while I peed and had my first post baby BM at the hospital as I was terrified of popping stitches. I also used Dermaplast and cleaned with Tucks. Mine was an episiotomy too. That also isn't as evil as everyone makes it out to be. For me, baby was coming so fast that it was necessary according to my OB. It really is outside of your control so don't waste too much time thinking about it or worrying. You can do perineal massage but it will not prevent you from tearing if you are going to tear. Some people stretch easily while others tear easily. It will be okay no matter what.

I have one friend who tore up and she is just fine. Another friend with a fourth degree tear, is also fine today. The one with the fourth degree tear had to have csections for her subsequent kids though.