Making bday parties smaller?

MaggieMooMom

So for DD's 1st bday we had over 50 guests at our house. I did all the cooking and prep work and DH manned the grill. It's was so packed and tiring Ididn't really enjoy it much.

Her second bday we skipped ( couldn't get the venue we needed to host everyone comfortably and affordably) and DD got sick and I actually miscarried.

she'll be turning 3 this year about a month afterDS is due. We were thinking of just hosting at a bounce house place and ordering pizza to keep it simple.

Now my question is how do I reduce the number of invitees? The problem s most of our friends are Asian  and throw big parties and some may be offended if we didn't invite them and their multiple kids. Also, if your kd is invited to another kids party, do you have to invite them? At what age do you let your child choose say 10 kids and can you not invite all the kids siblings?  Plus, she has cousins in the area we would have to invite( even though they have only had 1 bday party ever and invited us. But if we don't invite them, they will be really upset(my brother that is).

sorry for typos ( on mobile) and for this being so long. 

superaunt

we just had my daughter's party at a jump house (so much fun btw) and i invited family with kids, her closest friends at school (the ones she talks about all the time), and some friends of ours with kids. in that order. if i had to make it smaller, that's the order i, personally, would invite. you can't please everyone. hope the party is fun!

PunkyBooster

I dunno, because we have a big social circle and I am facing this dilemma this year. I will be keeping a very close eye on this thread- glad you posted!!!

1026pumpkin

Is your goal to reduce the headcount or just to make the party more manageable and less stressful?  If it's purely headcount, I can't think of any good suggestions besides splitting into a family bday and a friend bday and having two smaller parties.  It sounds like with your group, someone is going to get their feeling hurt if they don't get invited to something.

If it's making it less stressful, could you search around for a venue that will let more kids in, or consider renting a bounce house and having a party at a local park during a non meal time (i.e.2-4) and just have some pizzas delivered, get cans of soda and juice boxes from Costco, and a cake....the bounce house people will set that up and you can just dump the garbage into one of the cans and go home when you're done.  It's easier to accommodate  a lot of people that way, because kids can play in the park, there are usually plenty of tables and benches, etc.

WestCoastMommy

I think under age 6 its really about close family and friends. I invite people that my child would actually want to see and would be happy to play with like her Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, close cousins and maybe if the list isn't to big a couple of DH and my friends with kids her age. If its going to be too many people we skip our friends and stick with just close family. That's still around 30 people.

honeybee111

We have this problem, too.  1st birthday was 40 people.  I wanted to cut it down for her 2nd, so we only invited people with kids around her age, so that ended up being around 25 people.  We just had her 3rd birthday, and coincidentally, DH had family in town from out of the country, so it ended up being 50 people.  DH and I have promised ourselves we will majorly cut it down next year - just a few friends from school, + our close friends with kids her age.  Thank God we have no family in town, otherwise, it would be even more ridiculous.

AllisonKate1311

We don't do traditional parties. 

1st birthday- We had a picnic in our back yard with our best friends. There were 6 people total. We didn't play games, have a cake, or any decorations. It was so sweet and fun.

2nd birthday- We went to the park, got lunch and ice cream. Came home, baked a cake, played with DD's 1 new toy(yes my daughter only got 1 thing for her birthday and she was thrilled), then we went out to dinner.

3rd birthday- We met up with her best friend at the zoo and spent the day there.

 

Personally, I LOVE it that way. I've had my fair share of crazy kid parties and I hate it. Thea doesn't have many friends yet but I don't know what I'll do once school kid parties start. I fully recommend just doing something not so birthday focused. Invite a few friends over for some play time or go somewhere. 

2-Step

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think people WAY overthink kids bday parties these days. Honestly, as a parent, I don't want to have to lug my kids to someone's 1, 2, 3rd bday party twice a month. Of course my best friends and family members are a different story, but I definitely don't get offended if I am left off the list of general friends' kids parties etc.

I have a friend that had 100 people at her 1 year old's party because she claimed people would be so offended if they weren't invited. To me, that actually just came off as a little conceited. This is not a wedding! Your child does not need a banquet for 50 to celebrate every birthday.

I think parents sometimes think everyone wants to be there, but do they really care? It's a 3 year old birthday party, is that how everyone wants to spend their Saturday? I don't know, maybe I am alone here, but I would never be offended by even a close friend limiting her child's party to family only. Maybe your friends are different, but I think parents sometimes place a little too much emphasis on the birthdays when really most of their friends would not care and might even rather spend their Saturday doing something else

jebrmbbeb

2-Step:

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think people WAY overthink kids bday parties these days. Honestly, as a parent, I don't want to have to lug my kids to someone's 1, 2, 3rd bday party twice a month. Of course my best friends and family members are a different story, but I definitely don't get offended if I am left off the list of general friends' kids parties etc.

I have a friend that had 100 people at her 1 year old's party because she claimed people would be so offended if they weren't invited. To me, that actually just came off as a little conceited. This is not a wedding! Your child does not need a banquet for 50 to celebrate every birthday.

I think parents sometimes think everyone wants to be there, but do they really care? It's a 3 year old birthday party, is that how everyone wants to spend their Saturday? I don't know, maybe I am alone here, but I would never be offended by even a close friend limiting her child's party to family only. Maybe your friends are different, but I think parents sometimes place a little too much emphasis on the birthdays when really most of their friends would not care and might even rather spend their Saturday doing something else

I agree! I have a friend who is not into parties until they have friend ones so she never invites me or my daughter to hers, but I invite her to ours because we do small adult friend and family parties. I never get offended. We like parties with food but just at our house, and only our parents and like four of our friend couples with and without kids. My daughter doesn't have real friends yet and no expectations so we just have a good time and celebrate her with the people that love her! Also, I am not into huge money sucking things. As much as I'd love a crazy cute Pinterest party, I just don't think it matters in the long run and isn't worth the the effort and money.