Explaining surgery to LO

kaitaloon

My DD is 4 and she has to have surgery next month. She has a large birthmark hemangioma on her nose, that is being removed. She knows that she sees a special doctor for her nose but doesn't know that anything is wrong with it. She is such a sensitive kid and she worries about everything. Does anyone have any advice on how to talk to her about it? TIA

realisticdreams

kaitaloon:

My DD is 4 and she has to have surgery next month. She has a large birthmark hemangioma on her nose, that is being removed. She knows that she sees a special doctor for her nose but doesn't know that anything is wrong with it. She is such a sensitive kid and she worries about everything. Does anyone have any advice on how to talk to her about it? TIA

DD1 has had a lot of surgeries and procedures.  I have found that honest is the best policy (even if I dont want to tell her) I would maybe mention it once now and then once a week until the week before and talk about it every day the week before leading up to it.  
Is this an outpatient surgery?  
You can either go with the very honest approach and try to explain to her that her nose has a boo boo on it, etc.  Or you could go with the kid version and say it has a special spot and it's so special the doctor needs to take it off so no one else will want it, or some variation thereof.  I would just keep it simple and short.  Does she know what surgery is, in general?  
I guess we are better off in that aspect bc dd1 knows all of the medical terms, and she knows things in her body dont work right and we've never really spun it with a kid friendly version.  But, if she's overly sensitive you could.  
Don't get me wrong, sometimes, especially if it's urology related we get lots of crying and yelling but she's generally accepting of it happening before the surgery.  They will probably give her some versed before they take her so she won't remember much.

Good luck.Also, you could talk to the child life center at the hospital and see what they say!

seethesmiles

We bought a book about surgery (it was specific to tonsillectomy so no real help to you, although I'm sure there are more generic books out there -- search amazon). We read through the book several times.

I simplified the steps (we are going to the hospital, they will give you a bracelet with your name on it, they will give you silly pajamas to wear, they will give you the sleepy juice, then while you are sleeping the doctor will take out your tonsils) and went over this with DS many times so he would know what to expect and there were no surprises.

We also did role playing at home with our doctor's kit. I think this was really helpful. DS would be the doctor and take my tonsils out. Then I'd be the doctor and DS would be the patient. We would go through the steps I listed above like getting the bracelet, etc. My DS has major problems with anxiety and he did great so I feel like we prepared him well without causing unnecessary fear. I, on the other hand, was a wreck!!

Good luck. I hope all goes well.

CaptainSerious

When M had his surgery, we talked to him and read to him, but the thing that helped him the most was the child life specialist at the hospital (CHOP).  She brought a doll and explained everything in detail, told him all about the various wires, tubes, procedures, what he'd feel like when he woke up, how long recovery would be, really everything.  She was able to demonstrate the basics on the doll, so he had an idea of what was going to happen and it really started to make sense to him.

I was a nervous wreck thinking he wouldn't get it (he still only spoke/understood Spanish), but she (with the interpreter) did such a great job.  It was only then that I was able to relax a little about his reaction and understanding.

Where are you having the surgery performed?  Is there anyway you could have something similar done to explain?  The services were provided through the hospital's social work office.