S/o remarriage: lurker with a question.

WellersBo

My H I separated about 3 months ago I left him, and we're about to start the divorce paperwork.

I spoke to him at the end of last week he made a comment that he feels I'm a bad mom not meeting our daughters emotional needs by forcing her to live in two households. This really upset me because I know I'm a good mom I love my daughter more than anything. And without getting into all the reasons I left, I wanted my daughter to see her mom as a strong, happy role model...and I couldn't be that for her being married.

But after his comment I've started having doubts. Both of our parents are still married we both had happy childhoods. What if I never find another person to date/marry, and my DD loses out on this childhood I had pictured for her? Never gets another sibling?

Sorry, tl;dr and I guess I really don't have a question. More of a vent.

J&A2008

You could ask this on the BF boards. 

Personally, I grew up with just my mom, single parent, only child and I loved my childhood.  My mom was and still is my best friend.  I now have a wonderful stepdad, but my mom didn't meet him until I was in college.  She did date, and was serious with a couple guys, but never married.

Her husband is now my dad, and a wonderful grandpa.

Only you know your reasons for divorcing him, at this point anyway, unless you want to share.

There's only one couple I know of that stayed together just for the sake of their children, and that's the parents of my ex-FI, and he would tell you it did not make for a happy childhood.

EastCoastBride

I'd chalk that comment up to "yet another reason why I left him".  It's a really immature, cheap shot.

Manateearmz

EastCoastBride:

I'd chalk that comment up to "yet another reason why I left him".  It's a really immature, cheap shot.

BINGO

Im a firm believer that it is sometimes healthier for children to have two happy homes than one unhappy one. 

There is a single parents board, try will have great help for you. Don't worry about finding another partner right now, concentrate on making the best with what you have. We make our own happiness regardless who is along for the ride. 

hopecounts

EastCoastBride:

I'd chalk that comment up to "yet another reason why I left him".  It's a really immature, cheap shot.

 

this.

as a kid from a divorced home I promise you I was 100% happier once they split after the initial adjustment.

having 2 homes that were happy and calm was a million times better than one home where my parents were stressed/angry/unhappy.

plus is that really the type of example you want to set for your child? 

MsLs

I am a child of divorced parents and I agree nothing is worse than two parents who clearly don't love eacother living together for the sake of the child.  I will be honest it will be hard on your child and she will at times wish her parents were together but she will be fine and get through it and in no way does that make you a bad mom! Tell your ex he's been an ahole. 

ridesbuttons

EastCoastBride:

I'd chalk that comment up to "yet another reason why I left him".  It's a really immature, cheap shot.

WellersBo

Thanks ladies! Logically I know leaving was the right thing. Comments like that do make me second guess myself sometimes, but I want more than anything for DD to have a happy childhood and I know she wouldn't have had that if we stayed together.

And his little comments here and there, while very hurtful, do remind me why I left. Thanks again ladies!