enabling?

clrgrdfrk

I'll try and make this short and to the point, we'll see...

 I have been putting DD down for the night 100% of the time but DH has been there to see what I do. We don't have a set time schedule or routine but it's more or less the same thing every night, With the university semester starting this week I started teaching again, it's twice a week from 7pm-9pm so DH was going to try and get her down for the night by himself last night. Well... I came home last night, and DD is screaming. DH was trying to feed her her last bottle for the night but she was not having any of it.... I let it go on for a few minutes but it was breaking my heart, she was so sad. DH is usually really good with her, doing the 5 S's to calm her down when needed but I could tell her was getting frustrated with her. I asked if I could hold her and say hi, and he said you just want to try and calm her down. No sh!t DH, of course I want to calm her down. He hands her to me and within a couple minutes DD is asleep and out for the night.

 After I put her down, DH says I am just enabling her to be a sass to him and that she needs to learn to be put down by him too. Which yes, I get that she needs to be put down by him, and he needs to learn how to put her down too.... And I do let him calm her down if he is already with her.

But how long do I sit there and let her cry and him get frustrated? And she is still so young, is it really enabling?

Mrs.G123

Tell him she is a tiny baby... She is not quote being a sass end quote. She is just more used to you.

hamiltks10

Everything I've read says that you cannot create bad habits until your child is older....at a minimum, 4 months old.  I do not think you're enabling and absolutely don't think she's being a "sass".  She's tiny little baby, for petes sake!

Sorry....I don't have any other dvice to offer. 

samsterrr

I let it go for about ten minutes max! Pretty much until I just can't handle it anymore. Jovanni didn't start calm down for bf till about 45 weeks ago and he is pro. It was so hard at first though. Jovanni won't take a bottle anytime past 5pm and won't calm down or go to sleep with any one but me. Night time is the time he just knows as time with me and he won't have it any other way

Wally3

She is more use to you and will keep being until your DH starts doing it more.  So while she is not doing it to be a "sass" she won't get use to him if you always do everything.  You may want to start having him do parts of the bed time routine on nights you don't work so she does get use to him and switch around who does what.

jenmccon

Mrs.G123:

Tell him she is a tiny baby... She is not quote being a sass end quote. She is just more used to you.

This. Also, your DH Should try to keep his frustration in check because LO can pick up on that and will not feel comfortable with him. You are not enabling. 

suzienickles36

jenmccon:

Mrs.G123:

Tell him she is a tiny baby... She is not quote being a sass end quote. She is just more used to you.

This. Also, your DH Should try to keep his frustration in check because LO can pick up on that and will not feel comfortable with him. You are not enabling. 

This happened to me the other morning. I usually do all feedings but was trying to get ready for work and LO was screaming hysterically for my partner. He said he was spoiled ... I'm no he isn't he just can sense you're tense and you never feed him so it's new. A 3 month old is not spoiled