Late Term and Child Loss
Mrs Nice
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PAL CheckIn
Mrs Nice
member
Hello Ladies.
Welcome to Thursday PAL Checkin!
I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
QOTW: Does anyone ever tell you that you should "be over" your loss because "at least you have ..."? How do you respond?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Welcome to Thursday PAL Checkin!
I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
QOTW: Does anyone ever tell you that you should "be over" your loss because "at least you have ..."? How do you respond?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PAL CheckIn
PAL is Parenting after a loss. PgAl is Pregnant after a loss.
Anyone who is parenting after a loss is welcome to check in here. Even if you are parenting an older child, not just for rainbow babies.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? With a 3 yo, everything is a challenge. I am struggling with leaving her at a babysitter's 3 days a week. Last Friday DD#1 had a complete meltdown b/c she didn't want to go "I don't want to go, I want Mommy to stay with me" etc...even though she calmed down as soon as I left, I feel bad that someone else gets to play with and have fun with her. I see DD a few hours in the morning, and if she doesn't go to bed early, an hour at night. And when I do see her, I am either in a rush to straighten the house and feed her before getting ready for work, or I am so tired from work, I have to turn down her multiple requests to play with her. I feel like a horrible mommy. Then throw into the mix that the new baby will be here, and I will have less time for her....I am feeling extremely guilty,
QOTW: Does anyone ever tell you that you should "be over" your loss because "at least you have ..."? How do you respond? Nobody has been ballsy enough to tell me to "get over it", but I have had a few people tell me "well, at least you have your daughter....". I am not a confrontational person, so I have never said anything, and honestly I don't get too mad because they don't know what else to say, but sometimes I just want to ask them "if your dad dies, do you not grieve b/c you have your mom..vice versa?"
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Tomorrow is Jack's angelversary..and I am dreading it. Last week would have been his 5th birthday..and now this. I would have thought that as time goes on, these days would be easier, but they aren't, they are almost worse. I once heard that when you lose a parent, you lose part of your past. But when you lose a child you lose part of your future. We had so many plans for that little boy. He should have started kindergarten this year. And there are little league games that he should have been participating in. He should be here playing with his little sister...he should have been here for everything. And he's not. And it hurts just as much as it does today, as it did 5 years ago.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? His Birthday...Kame's Birthday in on Feb 8th...We just recived her annual birthday reminder again from TRU that was great...ALthough I did finally get furious that they keep sending them and blasted their FB page and hundreds of other people did too and so they said they would stop. Their corp office called and everything, now it is being featured on "The Consumerist" .
QOTW: Does anyone ever tell you that you should "be over" your loss because "at least you have ..."? How do you respond? SIgh* yes, I should be all better because it has been so lond and because Gabe is here....Last time someone said this I responded rather harshly....I said.. Well how about I kill that kid you have right there, you can go through 3 years of IF have a rainbow and tell me if it makes it all better??
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week. gabriel's Birthday and if I will get to celebrate another one with him,,,,I never got that with Kam.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Trinity is honestly a little clone of Sydney and the faces she makes really make me think of Sydney all the time. Sometimes it is so hard and others it makes me smile.
QOTW: Does anyone ever tell you that you should "be over" your loss because "at least you have ..."? How do you respond? Well they have aid it but just recently my mother told me that I just seem happier these days. I kindly told her that she doesn't see my melt downs like DH does. I cry often for Sydney and just because we had Trinity doesn't make losing Sydney any easier it seems to sometimes hurt much much more. Parenting after a loss is not for the weak at all. It is an emotional rollercoaster ALWAYS!!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I am planning Trinity's baptism and it is tough since the priest is the same one who did Sydney's memorial my heart hurts!!