Recovery

amandapaul17

I just found out I will have a CS next Wednesday because baby is breech.  I was totally unprepared for this, I wanted to have a completely natural birth  

I'm wondering how much help I will need once I get home.  Both my mom and MIL have offered to help, as my husband only gets a few days off.  It's just that I'm an extremely independent person, and I like doing things my own way.  I'm also a bit worried about one of the wonderful ladies taking over.  I know I'm going to be quite selfish with baby, especially in the beginning.

So I guess my question is, can I do it by myself, or should I have help?

sogborn1

I am the same way. I never ask for help from anyone and usually don't take it even if offered. However, I had an unplanned c-section and my husband had to go back to work two days after we got home. If I had not had family around to help it would have been hell! For the first week I really couldn't get up much other than to change and feed the baby. I couldn't cook, couldn't clean, couldn't do laundry... Also couldn't drive. After the first week it got a lot better and I didn't need as much help anymore but I've also been doing stuff I'm not supposed to.... it will really just depend on how fast your body heals, but I would definitely take help that first week. The most important thing that week is for you to get better, get stronger and take care of your little one! Good luck! And don't worry it does get better! That first week I thought I'd never be right again, but it really doesn't take long if you take care of yourself!

pamelamelanie924

Everyone is different. I was fine after 5-6 days. The key is to get up and walk in the hospital as much as possible. I had a quick and easy recovery and my doctor said it was because I was in shape and active before and while I was pregnant. You will be really sore and getting up and down, especially from a lying position, will hurt. I would accept help for a couple days after you come home. You don't want to over do it because that will cause set backs. Just move around as much as possible and you'll be fine! GL!

SouthernMom70

You're definitely going to need some help. You won't be able to drive (I think until 6 weeks post-surgery from what I recall), so you'll need people who can run errands for you. You also won't be able to lift anything heavier than your baby - and even that can really hurt! You'll definitely want people around who can help with meals, laundry, errands, etc. If you don't have this, you could end up hurting yourself and back in the hospital, and that won't do your new baby any good at all.

+ASH+

Everyone is different and it depends on a lot of factors. The primary two that I can think of: Are you in good shape? Do you handle pain well?

My mom wanted to move in with us (when she lived five minutes away) before I even knew I would have a c-section - I declined and I ended up not needing her even after having an emergency CS. She would come over some during the day when DH was at work, but I was fine on my own. 

Before I got pregnant with my first one, I was in the best shape of my life and my recovery was a breeze. Once I got out of the hospital, I was a little tender, so I took it easy for another day or two, but my body snapped right back. With the RCS, my recovery took a few weeks (I didn't have the muscle development I had with DS#1). I remember being in more pain at home - with DS9, I took one pain pill and that was all I needed. With DS6, I got two prescriptions before the pain was more manageable (I used a bottle and a half). 

I have a feeling this recovery will take a bit longer - I don't have the muscle tone I used to have and I'm 7 years older, so it makes a difference. 

lil_jen051708

It really just depends on the person. I was able to cook, get up and down, and really manage most things on my own. DH did laundry because it was downstairs and our washer and dryer would require me to bend over. It was rough getting in and out of bed at first as well as in and out of our cars. I did drive on my own at 10 days pp and was fine carrying DS around. We had several dr appts over the first 6 weeks and I primarily handled those on my own. I would not want my mil over or even my mom to help out becuase it'd drive me nuts. Also, mil always wanted to feed DS but that required me pumping which annoyed me too.

Aiylin

You will  be fine. Accept meals and help to find time to take a shower or do soemthing for yourself, other than that IMO having someone over is more work than it's worth. You'll be fine just try to keep yourself mobile and keep the things you need on hand.

amandapaul17

Thanks for the responses.  I guess I should have also specified that my mil lives about 2 hours away, while my mom is a 12 hour drive. I have no family near to me. I don't want to tell them not to come and then need them, yet I don't want them to come and drive me crazy. 

 

jllmb79

Ask for help. Let them know you are looking for help cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving, while you are bonding with the baby.

pamelamelanie924

If you're anything like me, every single person except my daddy drove me up the wall! I couldn't stand people stopping by. I have no idea why either because I'm not like that! I didn't want anyone helping me but my SO. I was VERY selfish with LO. I think a big part of it was her NICU stay and just wanting to catch up on what seemed like lost time, but still. I just wanted to be left alone!

Neener73

heatherbee710:

pamelamelanie924:

Everyone is different. I was fine after 5-6 days. The key is to get up and walk in the hospital as much as possible. I had a quick and easy recovery and my doctor said it was because I was in shape and active before and while I was pregnant. You will be really sore and getting up and down, especially from a lying position, will hurt. I would accept help for a couple days after you come home. You don't want to over do it because that will cause set backs. Just move around as much as possible and you'll be fine! GL!

Definitely good advice, but keep in mind the part about everyone being different! i was also in shape, active, moved around tons in the hospital but ended up with several complications when I got home from doing too much too fast which almost put me back in the hospital. I would say have people on stand by, and then play it by ear if you are feeling ok enough to move around Let them help with the housework while you snuggle your baby! 

This.  I'm an older FTM and wasn't in shape, but I had an easy recovery.  I had one internal stitch that pulled/burned if I moved the wrong way, but I didn't have any other issues.  I have friends who were in much better shape than me who had a hard time moving at all for weeks after their c-sections.  It does just depend on the person/situation.

I think you should just wait and ask for help when/if you need it.  You'll have a better idea of what you'll want by the time you're ready to be discharged.  I personally liked have my mom around.  She did our laundry, helped clean, etc.  I breastfeed, so I spent plenty of time feeding/snuggling with DS.  It was nice to have someone around to watch and snuggle with him when I wanted to take a shower or a nap.

beachbum482

Wait to see how you feel after the surgery before you make any commitments to people coming to help. After my 4-day stay in the hospital I felt pretty good. You won't be able to drive or lift anything heavier than your baby as PP's have mentioned but you aren't totally bedridden either! I wanted to do things around my house when I got home. I had this weird urge to get things in order for my new little family. Everyone is different, but I would definitely wait until after it's all said and done before you request help because you may not want/need it! 

stardust317

With Both kids, DH went back to work about a week out. I felt comfortable taking care of baby by myself. I was not able to take care of my 15 month old by myself after number 2 for several weeks.

SamanthaG+3

I just had my first c-section (due to a breech baby) on Jan. 9th. I've had 3 previous vaginal deliveries. I too was planning on a natural, hypnobirth, but baby never flipped, and my water broke at 36 wks.

You will need help, ESP. during the first week, that was the worst week for me and the first 3-4 days were really painful for me. i needed help getting in and out of the hospital bed and to reach things.

I'm 17 days out and I feel much better than I did a couple weeks ago, but I still need help with things and with my older children. My husband brings/cooks me food most of the time and watches my older ones while i sleep in in the mornings or when i take a nap. Plus you are not supposed to drive for 4-5 weeks, so he's had to drive me anywhere i need to go, even though I am home most of the time. I can't pick up the carseat with the baby in it yet. I'm still sore and have to remember that even though i feel better, I shouldn't do too much too soon, or it will take longer to heal.

I am somewhat of a control freak too, so I did have to learn how to let go of some things (letting DH dress the kids and "do" the girls hair, etc) and let people help.