WWYD ?

MrsPteranodon

So we live in a rowhouse/townhouse. So basically its 4 houses put together. 

We never have issues with our neighbors on either side. Actually our "block" gets along great.

Our neighbors have 3 daughters. We hardly ever hear them, a few weeks ago it sounded like the girls were fighting. I didn't want to go over and get involved because, well sisters/teenagers. But it woke Buddy up (his room is next to the girls rooms) so I went over and talked to the mom. Just because I didn't want to call in domestic disturbance on them. Because it obviously wasn't. 

Well the mom tells me the daughter and her were fighting. (middle one is 15) She just got home from 72 hour mental hospitalization watch for suicide. I'm like this 0.0 because obviously I stepped in bigger *** coming over to talk.

 

Flash forward to tonight, again with the screaming and fighting. I'm watching TV and Buddy is already in my bed. But I know when I turn off the TV I will be able to hear them fighting. Its already been an hour. Should I walk over and ask them to keep it down? Its the middle of the night. Or should I just leave it alone. They are all so sweet I feel bad because obviously they are going through major stuff as a family. 

 

Sorry this is so TL:DR 

LuckyDad

I'm sorry, that's a tough situation for you to be in. I'm guessing it's the 15 year old initiating the fighting. I'm sure the mom is at her wits end. But at the same time, Buddy needs his sleep.

There's really no easy answer here. But I wish you luck and hopefully things will settle down for them.

MrsPteranodon

Thanks guys. Its a rough spot to be in. I'm not really confrontational, and its totally a non confrontational situation for me. When I went over last time the girl came over in the morning to apologize. I really like the family so I don't want to call the police on them. I think that would make it WAY weirder in the long run.

For now it seems to have died down a bit. They have a 17 yr old, 15 yr old and a 14 yr old. I'm sure its a hormonal house!  

keags5496

Totally understand that calling the cops would make it wierd, but they might not know it was you. If you really don't want to I'd mention it to mom at a quieter time when they aren't fighting. Also, would a noise machine in LOs room help block out the sound so he doesn't wake up?

Kitiara5512

Call the cops. They are being loud at an unreasonable time and you already have reason to be concerned that one of them may turn more violent

klondikebar

That's a tough situation. I might give a couple of more days and talk to the mom when they aren't fighting if it continues. I really don't know.

Smootchy

Super rough. I would possibly try a noise machine of some sort in LO's room to help drown out a little noise. Given the situation I would not go back over again so soon to complain/ask to keep in down

bigbootyjudi

I second the white noise machine.

I would call the cops. I wouldn't go over there in the midst of that kind of argument because you never know what the reaction will be after hours of intense fighting, KWIM? The cops will not say it was you and there are two other families that could have called, so I don't think they would jump to assume it was you.

EastCoastBride

HilarityEnsued:

That is a tough situation.  I'm not sure how I'd handle it.  I think, personally, I'd do everything I can to drown out the noise in my own house (fans, white noise, etc.) before bringing it up to them again.  They are dealing with some major and scary issues, and I wouldn't want to pile anything on unless it was the absolute last option.

This.

MrsPteranodon

Update: I ended up turning pandora on in our room since Buddy was already in our bed because he wasn't feeling good. Pretty sure the fighting died down pretty soon after we turned out the lights.

The reason I'm so hesitant to call is they are the end house. So it would 100% be known it was us. Also this isn't every night, if it was I would probably care a little less.

I just feel terrible. The girls are so beyond sweet. The older one has baby sat for me for quick things, and the middle one is so sweet. It breaks me heart she is going through this sort of really rough life stuff.

I think I'll go and just chat with the mom tomorrow after she's had some sleep and just let her know we could hear her, and just wanted to make sure everything is okay.  

J&A2008

Kitiara5512:

Call the cops. They are being loud at an unreasonable time and you already have reason to be concerned that one of them may turn more violent

This.  Either the teenager is being a major drama queen and will stop when she realizes her drama is causing real problems, or she really does have problems and needs help, in which case the reality will have to hit the parents and they will tend to her.

MrsPteranodon

J&A2008:

Kitiara5512:

Call the cops. They are being loud at an unreasonable time and you already have reason to be concerned that one of them may turn more violent

This.  Either the teenager is being a major drama queen and will stop when she realizes her drama is causing real problems, or she really does have problems and needs help, in which case the reality will have to hit the parents and they will tend to her.

I think its a mix of both. I know both her sisters have mentioned she is a drama queen and loves the attention. I know they are taking it seriously though. 72 hour hospitalization and it  doesn't sound like its the first time she's gone.  

kwitt22

DH and I used to live in a townhouse with neighbors like this. They were super nice (a little white trashy but nice), they would drink ALL.THE.TIME. They had a 5 year old and the wife's mother lived there with them. One night the husband and mother got into a HUGE fight. I am talking HUGE. They were screaming, running all over the house. Then someone said "take your hands off me". I was so close to calling the cops, but they would have known it was me. I also didnt want to scare the poor little girl by having the cops show off, and potentially having her dad or grandma hauled off to jail! I am so glad we moved!

ridesbuttons

I think I would knock on the neighbour's door when things are normal and talk with the adults.  Let them know that past a certain hour they simply cannot be screaming and carrying on (I'm thinking 10 or 11pm...there is probably a bylaw in your town).  Let them know that you don't want to be forced to, but if it carries on you will have no choice but to contact the police.

It might be what the drama queen needs anyway.