MIL is beyond angry about our move

biochembelle

Just to update you, and because I can tell you things about MIL that I wouldn't feel proper saying IRL, MIL is being really nasty about our upcoming move.

DH told her on Thursday. On Friday she sent him an email with the word "expendable" in the subject line and various dictionary definitions of the word in the body of the email. Nothing else. We take it to mean she feels expendable to DH. On Monday she sends him another email saying she's moved into anger and they need to talk, or else he can keep avoiding her (which he is admittedly doing after her email on Friday). He calls her and she proceeds to tell him he's only moving for me, and I'm manipulative and conniving. She thinks our sometimes rocky marriage will fall apart and he'll lose custody of LO. She tells him that family should always take priority over professional opportunities or money (I'm getting a >30% pay raise). She tells him she doesn't understand why we're moving for the possibility of buying a house since we own one. He corrected her that we own a townhouse because we can't afford a single family home in Los Angeles, and it would be great to have a yard for LO and our 2 dogs. Most hurtful of all, she told him she will never come visit. We kind of knew that, but it still hurt for her to say it out loud. DH is so upset. He doesn't want to change our decision, but he's afraid it's going to cost him his relationship with his mother. I'm heartbroken for him, but also feel like if the cord is that short, then it needed cut anyway and this will force this issue. Also, I think it's a good thing that she won't be watching LO after we move because I really don't want LO spending 40-50 hours a week with someone who is so immature and passive aggressive. I know what MIL tells her own children about their father (another story for another time), and I definitely don't want her badmouthing me to my daughter.

There's your daily dose of family drama. Thanks for listening. On the upside, I talked to my new boss on the phone on Monday, and I am so stinking excited about this job I can hardly wait to start in April! 

Jazzyashes84

congrats on the job offer. how far are you guys moving from LA that she can't come visit?

biochembelle

Northern Virginia.

Her issues are: 

1) Her elderly father lives with her, which I do understand somewhat.

2) She refuses to leave her dogs with a dog sitter. This I do not understand. I love my dogs, but visiting my child would be more important to me than leaving my dogs for a few nights.

3) She flat out refuses to visit on principal because she's mad we're moving. 

One option is for her and FIL to visit separately, especially since she doesn't like him anyway and they have slept in separate rooms for 10 years. That way one can stay with Great Grandpops and the dogs. I'm hoping she'll cool off over time and go with this plan, but we'll have to wait and see.

jcsntms06

Wow, I'm sorry you guys are having to deal with her childish behavior. Obviously a move like this is hard on everyone, but to bad mouth you is uncalled for. I hope with time she can come to her senses. 

Good luck with your move and the new job. 

SteelCity44

Wow. I can't believe how childish she's being. I get it that she's hurt, but seriously? It's not about HER. I can't form complete sentences for the anger that I feel for your situation, so I'll just stop there. Sorry you're dealing with this. Good riddance. 

jenbelsan

I'm so sorry she's being so dramatic.  On the upside, welcome to Northern Virginia!!!!  Where might you be moving to?  I think there are a couple bumpies in Maryland, but I think I'm the only one on this side of the river!

AmyJoy728

I am so sorry! I lived in northern Virginia for 4 yrs. Where are you looking at buying, as most of northern VA is expensive.

gatorsjenn

We live in northern VA too! Sorry about your MIL drama, hopefully she will cool down and be more mature.

BabyMakes6

I'm sorry she is being so bratty. She sounds like a child having a tantrum. She will get over it. Good luck with your move.

MMC0927

I really can't believe your MIL is still pulling this crap. This is such an amazing opportunity for you guys, and she is trying to sour the excitement with her selfish attitude. I'm sorry your DH is upset over this, but I agree with you - the cord needs to be cut. You didn't just tell her he's becoming a woman, or something... You are moving, AS A FAMILY. She needs to get over it.

biochembelle

AmyJoy728:

Where are you looking at buying, as most of northern VA is expensive.

My job is in Chantilly, so we're looking at a few places, but most likely Manassas. Fortunately, compared to the westside of Los Angeles, northern Virginia is actually more affordable. We should be able to sell our $600,000 townhouse here and buy an actual house for around $500,000 in Manassas.

 

SteelCity44

biochembelle:

 

AmyJoy728:

Where are you looking at buying, as most of northern VA is expensive.

 

My job is in Chantilly, so we're looking at a few places, but most likely Manassas. Fortunately, compared to the westside of Los Angeles, northern Virginia is actually more affordable. We should be able to sell our $600,000 townhouse here and buy an actual house for around $500,000 in Manassas.

 

I just choked a little.