When you get your BFP...

doodiebug18

I have a hard time keeping a secret, but I will most likely tell my best friend as soon as we get our bfp...then tell our immediate family after our first US appt. Or once we get past 7 weeks whichever come first

mamabird8

Well, with DS, I got my BFP at exactly 5 weeks. We told my parents, my brother, DH's parents and his brother and sisters all that day. We were too excited to wait! And we figured that if we would have a loss, then we would need all of their support. Then I spilled the beans at work when I was 6 1/2 weeks. This time around, we will still tell family right away, but I will probably wait to tell everyone at work a little longer.

I like the little Miami Dolphins onesie idea. We got a "big brother" shirt to put on DS when we tell our parents. It's 2T, so it will fit him until next winter. Plus I got it on the clearance rack, so it was like $3. If we aren't KU before he outgrows it, nbd.

seh0041

The 1st tri rule is hard for me. I've had friends tell us earlier, then MC, then they had to go back and tell everyone and it made it all worse. But then I've had other friends in the same situation who were glad to have the support.  

DH first of course - I hope I can hang on at least a couple hours to put together some sort of 'fun' way to break the news!

Parents would probably be after 4-8 weeks. It's hard for me to keep a secret, and we both talk with our parents regularly, so I guess we'll play it by ear.

There are maybe 2-3 close friends we'll tell after we tell parents (between 8-12 wks?), just because they are the few people who actually know we're in the TTC phase and we see them all the time.

Coworkers - I'll attempt to wait until at least 12 weeks. This would probably depend on how 1st tri goes. I'm in a small office of mostly women, we are in close quarters, and we talk a LOT about personal stuff. They would know immediately if I was feeling sick or acting weird. So I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

FB - like a PP mentioned, I may not even "announce" it on FB, just tell other friends as I see them.

seh0041

deziniki:

My plan with FB though is to copy what a friend of mine is doing and do a Baby group where people can see updates and pics without having their pages flooded with pregnancy related stuff. 

Fantastic idea for FB. Both sides of our families have pages like this for planning trips, posting niece/nephew/grandkid pics, and it works out well.

bornmommy

seh0041:

bornmommy:

With DS --> DH right away, close friends around 7-9 weeks, my parents at 10 weeks, his at 12 and the world right after.  We wanted to wait to tell parents in person and had trips planned which is why they found out after close friends.  Since first tri was so awful for me (from being told I did miscarry then bleeding for the remaining 5 weeks without an answer as to why) I needed support at work and from my other close friends.  (I broke into tears pretty much 5 times a day for 5 weeks so...)

 This time around, depending on the circumstances, I'll most likely keep it to myself and DH for a bit, then parents around 10 weeks, then friends at 12 weeks.  Although, it will most likely slip to a few friends before.

The support @ work thing is a big consideration for me. I've had many friends MC, some that have told people early on, and some that waited. I've heard pros and cons for both sides. I'm guessing it would be hard for me to keep it a secret at work, because I work in a small office with almost all women. We talk a LOT...

I'm sorry for your loss, btw

I didn't have a loss.  I was told I was miscarrying by a stupid tech at my first u/s.  But, she was wrong.  My little fighter stuck and he is now my beautiful little boy.

Luckbeababy

Wow, I am amazed out how thought out the answers are to this question. Do people really think that much about it? I don't really have a plan, just tell people along the way I guess. I know my BFP will be exciting for me and Husband obviously and parents and siblings but I am not going to kid myself and think everyone in my life is dying to know. Yes they will be excited but definitely not giving any thought to when I will tell people and I don't think they will care when they know. I am not really worried about untelling people and the people I do tell can keep a secret if asked so maybe that is why I have not given much thought to this question.

jchickiem

With our first, MH knew right away and my mom knew the next day. We told all other family (ILs included) on Christmas when I was about 10 weeks. I shared at work and on FB after my first ultrasound, which was the NT scan.

With our second pregnancy, back in October, MH and I chose to keep it a secret from everyone and have a big Christmas surprise. Unfortunately, we found out about our missed miscarriage on 12/21. I'm glad I didn't tell a lot of people,because I would have had to untell all of those people.

So, with this next one, I don't know what we will do. I might go ahead and tell my mom so she can help me with LO during appointments.

JulianneJacks

atcwag:

I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

I think "when to tell" is a personal decision.  The rate of MC goes way down after 1st tri, so a lot of people wait until then.  I believe the rate is also lowered after you hear the HB.  However, anything can happen, so I'm not sure that any time is "safe".

The biggest thing for me is waiting until after 1st tri to tell "the world" and to also wait until after that time to tell anyone who may "spill the beans", i.e. my MIL!  My plan is to call (probably tomorrow) the OB/GYN that I want to be my Dr. and see when they would want to see me.  If it's soon, then I may wait to tell anyone but DH.  If it's not until 8-10 weeks (normal), I may not be able to hold out telling my mom and possibly my BF.  Also, my BF is on "baby watch" with me and makes me drink some sort of alcohol when she comes home (she lives about 3 hours away).  So, if she comes home anytime soon, I'll probably have to spill the beans.

With the timing, April Fool's Day is exactly 14 weeks for me.  I may tell anyone that we want to tell in person/via phone the weekend before that and then do a facebook announcement on April Fool's Day - keep everyone guessing!

A friend of mine posted that she was pregnant on April Fool's Day  on facebook as a joke last year. A bunch of her aunts got so excited- I thought it was kind of mean and a lame joke. If you do this I would add "No foolin'" or something to your status so that people know it's real.

FatCat81

Probably just DH until after the first appointment then maybe our parents. I've seen people put pictures of their tests of FB that day. Super weird. One chic did it a few time and had two m/c. It would just be horrible to have that kind of a loss so public.

ColinTheRobot

I used to think I had it all figured out, but the time waiting for the BFP has been really good to me. I think at this point, I'll take the whole thing day by day - tell people as I feel comfortable releasing the news, in person if I can, and not worry too much about "who knows first".

Obviously DH will be first, knowing within 8 hours when I know (I test at work).

fiddlefern

I will tell DH right away and wait to tell anyone else until we can confirm a heartbeat.  Then I will tell my mom.  Everyone else will have to wait until 12 weeks.

joneka

No "as I grow" photos?? This would be impossible for me..u have strength girlie

Sorry this was for Colerose..shouldve hit the quote button!

sunlavender

We'll probably tell our parents right away.  We'll tell a few close friends after the first ultrasound.  The world at 12 weeks.

femmepink

I will be telling a lot of people right away (within the first two weeks of my BFP). Mostly because I need to be accommodated at work so I have to tell them, my parents will know because they supported us through our m/c the first time and I'd want them to know right away incase something happens again, and a lot of my friends work with me so they'll know early, too.

I wish I could wait longer, but unfortunately with my job that's not happening.  

I wouldn't be announcing on FB until after a "good" NT scan (IPS).

scbedi

rmcgibbon:

Telling DH right away obviously. Then as soon as he knows, I'm going to tell my best friend who has been waiting for 6 years for me to have a baby haha. We will probably tell our parents after the first appointment (8 weeks?) and then wait until 12 weeks for everyone else.

 

this minus the 6 years. 

Cindal

I'm guessing that I might actually tell you ladies on the bump first.

Next would be DH. Depending on when/if I get my BFP I'm thinking of ordering my DH another boudoir book and then putting a picture of the positive test in the very back of it along with some kind of clever note(I haven't figured that part out yet). I've got a couple pictures squirrelled away already and a few more ideas up my sleeve. It would take about 1 week to get the book in.

Depending on how early and much I start showing, I'm thinking of waiting til I find out the gender before announcing to anyone else. But I'm not certain that either of us could wait that long so we might tell close family and friends a little after 12 weeks.

 The rest of the world will find out after the gender for sure if I can convince people not to blab.

 

CalinAZ

Definitely DH first - he's usually nearby when I test, and while doing something cute sounds theoretically fun, I'd much rather share that first experience with him. I'm torn on everyone else. I don't live near any family or friends (recently moved), so part of me is tempted to wait so I can tell my parents in person (and maybe one sister who is close to them as well). I wouldn't want to tell anyone before them.  On the other hand, my sister told everyone right away, before even going to the doctor, and everything was fine, so that's sort of the precedent. We'll see. 

 I'd like to wait with work until I'm showing, though morning sickness will dictate that a bit (I'm a teacher, so I can't just run off to the bathroom when I need to). Not sure about "public" online announcement. I have a blog, so I'll be posting eventually there, but I'm not sure when. Either 8 or 12 weeks.  

lamo1210

With our first BFP we only told like 3 ppl, then when our loss happened we told family that we were and we were losing. 

With the second BFP we told close family that very day... then a few days later found out that the pregnancy wont last.

 IDK what to do when the third BFP comes. 

adunkin

I'll probably tell my mom and a few close friends as soon as I pee on several sticks. We'll probably wait to tell everyone else (including MIL - and DH has already agreed) until 12 weeks. I've had to help a few friends through their early loss - I'd never want to shoulder that burden alone.