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Late Term and Child Loss
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catalina cattleya

mmarquez209mmarquez209
in Late Term and Child Loss
I was so scared, I was shaking... I want my baby was the thought I had screaming in my mind over and over, it was the last thought I had before I went under... I remember waking up to the nurses, one on each side of me, one placed something on my stomach. Before opening my eyes I instinctively moved my arms to cradle my Lil baby girl, I culd feel the pain of the contractions still coming on hard, feeling my baby in my arms gave me the strength to ignore it. when I opened my eyes I wanted to remember the.entire.moment. I finally looked at my daughter. She was swaddled in a blanket, at 22 Weeks gestation she was perfect... Perfect round head, tiny nose, perfectly shaped eyes that were closed, she had my lips. I was breathless wen I looked at her face. I forgot everyone and everythng it was just me and my baby, my Catalina. I love u I said as I ran my finger across her forehead. Her skin was soo soft. I stroked her cheek and kissed her. A new pain set in, my heart was breaking. They wanted to take her nd I culdnt let her.go. In my mind I begged God to let me keep her. They said it was time, I kissed my Lil girl one last.time and watched as they lifted her out of my arms and rushe her out of the room...
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Re: catalina cattleya

  • CaroleeCarolee member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • jebretzjebretz member
    I am so sorry for your loss.  I can appreciate when you say that no other pain exists when your heart is breaking. My thoughts are with you as you grieve. 
    TTC since May 2011
    Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
     Dx PCOS April 2012. 
    Clomid x 4 - no response.
    First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
    BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
     7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
    Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
    IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
    IVF# 2 11/28/13 - retrieval on Turkey Day! Hyperstim - no transfer
    FET #1 2/4/14 - miscarriage @ 9 weeks (Trisomy 6) 
    FET #2 6/8/14 - healthy normal baby! Due date 2/25/15
         Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • mmarquez209mmarquez209
    Sorry if this is too much, i took to writing because holding everythng in is suffocating me. moments like this i relive evry day multiple times. It hurts sooo much... Thank u for your support and kind words.
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  • CaroleeCarolee member

    imagemmarquez209:
    Sorry if this is too much, i took to writing because holding everythng in is suffocating me. moments like this i relive evry day multiple times. It hurts sooo much... Thank u for your support and kind words.

    Writing always helped me too.  Sending (((HUGS))).

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
    Report Reply
  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member

    Ticker warning

    Thinking of you!! I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet daughter!!

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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