How's your relationship with BD?

mimimimimiiii

I tried to have a good relationship with BD, but of course it never works out for me or for both of us. I'm given up already, he is just only a douchebag.

How's your relationship with BD? Do you think it's important to have a good relationship without any arguments?  

septmom11

nonexistant, maybe a text or phonecall once a month.  Although my situation is bad i do think it is important to TRY to foster a working coparent relationship with the BD.  If he is a danger to your or you child than it is best not to

Monkeybird84

I don't have a relationship with him. Haven't heard from him since the day DS was born. I tried to at least stay civil with him, but he's one of those people who do nothing but take advantage of others and he was never willing to compromise. He actually tried to use his responsibility to our son as a bargaining chip to get me to do what he wanted with my son's name. That little plot backfired on him, mostly because I am convinced that DS is better off not knowing him. He'd be nothing but a bad example in everything.

 All you can do is the best you can. If he doesn't want to meet you somewhere in the middle, then that's his fault not yours.

letzgoracing81

I know it is scary to think about going this journey all alone.  But you can do this!  You are strong and you have your beautiful daughter!!!!  As difficult as it may seem, try to keep your expectations (of a relationship between him and his daughter) low--this will help you be less disappointed.

BTW....I LOVE the name you picked....very beautiful!

bripratt2

Um non existent I suppose. He's one of those that expects me to invite him.over and make time for him but he never asks to see her and all the money he's ever promised I've never seen...he talks to my husband though but doesn't even try to have a relationship with DD. He runs around telling everyone I never let him see her either which is funny because out of the four times he asked I only that it wasn't a good time twice...

jpearce327

We are very civil and could probably be considered a friends. We have a very effective co-parenting style in which we both participate in raising him and making decisions for his life in general. We can and do call each other whenever we find it necessary to discuss something about DS. He pays child support, and we have an extremely flexible visitation schedule (nothing in writing, not necessary).

blueyedsweety28

a relationship without any arguments is just unrealistic .. I try being nice to him but it's hard to get along with a person that's constantly insulting me and threatening me with police and court when things don't go his way .. 

nikkilyn35

I would definitely say we are civil to the point of being friends.  We talk via email often, even when it's not about our son.  He has paid CS religiously since the order went into affect.  He has been a good moral support system for me when things aren't going good, and I try to be the same for him.

 It wasn't always like that though.  When I dropped the PG bomb on him, his reaction was to say he was moving away and that he was jobless and seeking CS from him would be futile.  My whole pregnancy was miserable, dealing with his lies.  Why he never thought to just STOP responding to me at all still amazes me.  Considering he moved 1500 miles away, it would have been easy to cut all contact from the day I told him I was pregnant, but he never did.

 I still have a lot of unresolved issues with him regarding his family's disinterest in our son, and his refusal to take this opportunity (he was laid off from his job in December) to consider moving back to our home state to co parent.  He always says he wishes he could be here for this or that, but I'm finding it harder and harder to believe him.  There's times I do want to cut ties with him, and just move on.  My son has yet to meet his father, so it's not like he will know any different.

 

dmndsr4eva

We do not get along at all due to the fact that he left me for another woman and is still with her a year and a half later.  Any communication I have it is very clear that she is the one who is writing the texts or emails.  She bascially convinced him that he should NEVER communicate with me.  They have told me multiple times that they do not want to ever hear from me again.  They basically expect to not hear a word from me unless my son is in the ER or something.  And they do not expect to tell me a single thing about my son while in their care.

We both have lawyers and have been to mediation several times.   So any schedule changes or requests bascially go through lawyers or a mediator.

He does pay court ordered child support but THEY think it's real fun to wait until midnight on the last day of the month to pay it.  We have the same bank so he does an online transfer into my account.  If he were to pay it past the last day of the month I could technically file a contempt charge with the court.

letzgoracing81

dmndsr4eva:

We do not get along at all due to the fact that he left me for another woman and is still with her a year and a half later.  Any communication I have it is very clear that she is the one who is writing the texts or emails.  She bascially convinced him that he should NEVER communicate with me.  They have told me multiple times that they do not want to ever hear from me again.  They basically expect to not hear a word from me unless my son is in the ER or something.  And they do not expect to tell me a single thing about my son while in their care.

We both have lawyers and have been to mediation several times.   So any schedule changes or requests bascially go through lawyers or a mediator.

He does pay court ordered child support but THEY think it's real fun to wait until midnight on the last day of the month to pay it.  We have the same bank so he does an online transfer into my account.  If he were to pay it past the last day of the month I could technically file a contempt charge with the court.

What a jackass! I got another name for the girlfriend....I won't use it in this site....

20thirteen

BD last spoke to me a week after dumping me.  Then his new girlfriend started texting me because she's a total... well... I'm not going to say.  Anyway, ever since they stopped communicating with me, I suddenly have a lot of spammers calling my phone which is odd because I *NEVER* give out my phone number. Sorry, tangent/vent.  Anyway, I don't see him ever contacting me again, which is fine with me.  I have his family who has completely disowned him and has not talked to him since the day I told them that he left me.  They are amazingly supportive and I have a very strong support system with my family and friends.  So I'm not at all worried about him not being there.  

inthelost

letzgoracing81:

dmndsr4eva:

We do not get along at all due to the fact that he left me for another woman and is still with her a year and a half later.  Any communication I have it is very clear that she is the one who is writing the texts or emails.  She bascially convinced him that he should NEVER communicate with me.  They have told me multiple times that they do not want to ever hear from me again.  They basically expect to not hear a word from me unless my son is in the ER or something.  And they do not expect to tell me a single thing about my son while in their care.

We both have lawyers and have been to mediation several times.   So any schedule changes or requests bascially go through lawyers or a mediator.

He does pay court ordered child support but THEY think it's real fun to wait until midnight on the last day of the month to pay it.  We have the same bank so he does an online transfer into my account.  If he were to pay it past the last day of the month I could technically file a contempt charge with the court.

What a jackass! I got another name for the girlfriend....I won't use it in this site....

 

ooooh me!!!! I have a few names for both him and his girlfriend too! None I can post on this site. This is just truly awful.