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daniliza

Unfortunately about 2 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend is doing heroin again. He has been sober for 3 years and we started dating 1.5 years ago. I never in a million years thought he relapsed but I guess it is always a possibility when you'r a drug addict.. I haven't stopped crying in weeks and I kicked him out right when I found out.

It has been so hard but it is what's best for my little munchkin. I currently live in Scottsdale but I just quit my job to move back to jersey to be around my friends and family.


He begs for my forgiveness everyday and says he is getting sober but after lying to me for a month and doing heroin in our bathroom and me not knowing, I just can't trust him again.


This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life : do you
girls think I made the best decision??

Btw I am 33 weeks pregnant :

mimimimimiiii

daniliza:

Unfortunately about 2 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend is doing heroin again. He has been sober for 3 years and we started dating 1.5 years ago. I never in a million years thought he relapsed but I guess it is always a possibility when you'r a drug addict.. I haven't stopped crying in weeks and I kicked him out right when I found out. It has been so hard but it is what's best for my little munchkin. I currently live in Scottsdale but I just quit my job to move back to jersey to be around my friends and family. He begs for my forgiveness everyday and says he is getting sober but after lying to me for a month and doing heroin in our bathroom and me not knowing, I just can't trust him again. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life : do you girls think I made the best decision?? Btw I am 33 weeks pregnant :

 

Yes, you are making a right decision!!! And you are so brave:) He can still see the baby once awhile when you are around, be he cant be a good dad when he is doing drugs. During this pregnancy I'm all alone. Don't let the negative things get you down and affect you and the baby. You can do it:) Be strong! 

DaringMiss

There is no question in my mind that you are doing the right thing.

One of the most important things for recovery is to hit rock bottom.  If you stayed around and made it easy for him, he will never feel motivated to get sober.  

Plus you would never feel that you could leave your child with him to run errands or go out for coffee with friends.  You would always be worried that he was shooting up in the bathroom or nodding off instead of paying attention to the child. 

Finally, you would never be able to live with yourself if something happened to your child because of your BF's addiction.   What if the child managed to get into his stash and was poisoned?  What if the child needed help (fell out of crib, started choking on a small item) and your BF was incapable of helping because he was unconscious or too doped up to make smart choices?

Better that the child know the father when he is sober or not at all than to take the risk of the child's health and wellbeing. 

kristak53

DaringMiss:

There is no question in my mind that you are doing the right thing.

One of the most important things for recovery is to hit rock bottom.  If you stayed around and made it easy for him, he will never feel motivated to get sober.  

Plus you would never feel that you could leave your child with him to run errands or go out for coffee with friends.  You would always be worried that he was shooting up in the bathroom or nodding off instead of paying attention to the child. 

Finally, you would never be able to live with yourself if something happened to your child because of your BF's addiction.   What if the child managed to get into his stash and was poisoned?  What if the child needed help (fell out of crib, started choking on a small item) and your BF was incapable of helping because he was unconscious or too doped up to make smart choices?

Better that the child know the father when he is sober or not at all than to take the risk of the child's health and wellbeing. 

 Ditto! I learned in counseling (group counseling to help me with my abusive ex) that addiction is the number 1 relationship for the addicted person, and everything else comes behind the addiction. So you 100% did the right thing by leaving him right away. I know it's not easy but you are doing the right thing. Don't doubt yourself. Your nesting instincts are kicking in and they know the right place to be. Keep your head up and GL!