Disillusion...

Nicole0012

For those of you who have gone the route of disillusion as opposed to divorce... What was your experience like? Were you amicable with your spouse at the time? Did you run into any unexpected bumps along the road? Did the agreements you came to at the time of the arrangement remain after everything was filed?

I am in the very early stages of heading down this road. H and I have been separated for 6 months (we have a two year old) and we have completed the pre-paperwork required. We were told to draw up our own "contract" with the decisions we agreed upon regarding the norm -- possessions, custody, finances, etc. We are very amicable, care a lot about each other and our little family, but have no desire to still be married to each other. So far, we have been in total agreement with just about everything. Hoping for smooth sailing through this rough patch. Would love to hear your experiences with this.   

tracy41

Not sure what state you're in but in CA dissolution and divorce are interchangeable terms. I did have an uncontested divorce. We paid an attorney to draft and file the paperwork and final settlement and never went to court. It's definitely more peaceful and cheaper that way. We probably could have done everything ourselves except we needed to make sure our pension assets were handled correctly. The only problem I encountered was as far as child custody/support. We agreed to 51/49 w/ me having the primary physical custody but when it was all said and done real life was a little different. My ex is tied up w/ his new soul mate and only has our son about 30 of the time so he should be paying support. Other than that it worked out well and was easier on us and our son.

ChristyPells

My husband and i drew up the papers ourselves i already regret it. I agreed to things i shouldn't have have to writhe deal with it OR file more papers fight him 9 mos preggers. Have an attorney do it if possible and if not go get a consult at least