My friend is an idiot.

rous27

She has a 3 month old son. She posted a picture of his crib with bumpers. I informed her of the dangers of the bumpers. She just posted pics of her son in his crib with a pillow, tons of blankets, and of course the bumpers.
I want to message her and rip her a new one. But I might be over stepping the boundaries of telling her how to parent. But I sure as hel! don't want to get news that her son died.
Would you message her?

RoxRing

I didn't put bumpers on my crib until my son was older. You already let her know. I'll probably get flamed for this, but I think we overreact. I would never put that stuff in my crib and was neurotic about it when other people had E, but I'm so tired of everything being hyped up that helps to build the neuroticism (neuroses?).  Sometimes I wonder if babies don?t sleep because they aren?t comfortable.

LCass

Personally, I go the passive aggressive route and post links to articles and sites about safety things with a message like "Important info for all parents of young children!"

rous27

LCass:

Personally, I go the passive aggressive route and post links to articles and sites about safety things with a message like "Important info for all parents of young children!"

I included a link when I first informed her. I have no idea if she took the time to read it though.

jwls84

You already said something to her so I wouldn't start mentioning something every time she posts a picture. She could have taken the bumpers out after that picture was taken, upon your advice. I am sure that she is fully aware of the negative consequences of using bumpers, but some people don't care or have a it won't happen to me attitude. I know a friend who used bumpers, she knew all the research just as I did. There was nothing I could say that would stop her from using them, why pick a fight if you know it won't change the end result? You did the right thing to mention it, not much more you can do

Scramblersmom

This is another thing I was super paranoid about. Since she is your friend maybe you could take a more passive route and say something like "I am terrified of having toys, blankets, pillows in a baby's crib because they say that it greatly increases the risk of SIDS". No one wants to be told how to parent but I fully understand your concern too so that is why I think you should say your peace passively then turn your head away from the train wreck.

Fianschneid

rous27:

LCass:

Personally, I go the passive aggressive route and post links to articles and sites about safety things with a message like "Important info for all parents of young children!"

I included a link when I first informed her. I have no idea if she took the time to read it though.

I feel like you've done what you can, then. You put the information out there and telling her again and again isn't going to do anything. I assume her hospital, OBGYN, pedi, and every book she read has told her the same.

cantalopes24

My 3 month old slept on a Boppy per her GI and she had stuffies at the foot of her crib because she had no way of getting anywhere near them. When my son was little everyone was all OMG you have to have bumpers or your kid will get stuck in the slats and could die! I understand the science behind things and of course it is believed to reduce SIDS but since SIDS is by definition unexplained its possible that it doesn't. I personally used breathable bumpers this time around but I'm not going to get worked up over someone else using them.

Elsa1984

I would leave it alone. You spoke about it already. People would have had a heart attack if they saw how Gator slept as an infant and still to this day. She always covered her face with her lovey. As much as people said "no bumpers, no blankets, no toys"...she had blankets until she could roll over, she has had her lovey in there since birth....we never had bumpers. She also spent the first six month sleeping in a :::gasp::: now pulled from the market sleep positioner. And she slept on her side....:::another gasp:::

Gator at 2 1/2 months old during naptime:

rous27

Thanks for the replies. A lot of you made good points. I'm going to leave it alone. I put the information out there for her to read. Now it is up to her how to use it as she sees fit to raise her own son.