Sh!t kids say

LoCarb

It's been a while since we've had this post. I'll start and please chime in with any recent funnies your LO has said or did.

 

We are in the market for a new car and I asked DD1 what kind we should get.

DD1: An ice cream truck!  It will play music and you can quit your job and sell ice cream!

We chuckled but for a minute I did entertain the idea of quitting my job for a less stressful career in the ice-cream business

Emmy323

DD: Mommy, I don't want our baby. I want a different baby.

Me: What baby would you like?

DD: I want the Silent Night baby.

Me: You want to trade in your sister for baby Jesus?

DD: Yeah.

lite-bright

DD2: Jupiter has a spot! 

Me: Hey, you're right!

DD2: And Mars has marshmallows.

Me: Ummmm ...

DH taught them the word "famished." So last night around dinner time, I start hearing this:

DD2: I'm starving!

DD1: I'm famished!

DD2: I'm famist, too. (Her pronunciation of it cracks me up.)

DD1: No, *you're* starving and *I'm* famished.

DD2: I'm famist too!

DD1: We're both famished, Mama!  

jc&cat

uconnhuskie007:

The other day my daughter decided she wanted to windex her mirror.  She tried to spray the trigger and nothing came out.  She then explained "Mommy!  I need your help.  This piece of crap isn't working". 

I need to watch what I say a LOT more closely!

OMG....LOL. Projectile tea over desk. So freaking funny!

KL777

Flash back to August 2012...

Me: How was your first day of pre-kindergarten?

DS: I listened to directions, obeyed the rules, now I'm in 1st grade.

(lol!)

LoCarb

These are a great afternoon laugh.

Emmy-I think that is one for the baby book

Uconn & Fred- I know it's wrong but when kids cuss it's Effin' hysterical!

Mama2TwoBoys

fredalina:

I think I posted this on Parenting but it still cracks me up: DD: Mommy, why did the girl say, "Take off the damn hood and look at me" on Spiderman? Me: Well, it's not a very nice word, so she must have been really angry. DD: When I am angry, I can say "damn"? Me: Um, well, no, it's more of a grownup word. This was her first swear word, by the way. A few minutes later she started SINGING "take off the damn hood... take off the damn hood..." so then this happened: Me: Charlotte, that's not a very nice word. I'd rather you sing something else. DD: No, I want to sing "take off the damn hood". Me: Well, if you want to sing it then you can sing it in your room. DD: No, I want to stay here. "Take off the damn hood..." Me: Nope, sorry kiddo. Up you go. Scoot. Five minutes of silence go by, and dinner was ready, so I called her. It was so quiet I was starting to worry she was getting into something. Me: Charlotte! DD: WHAT??? Me: What are you doing? DD: I'm still singing "Take off the damn hood". Me: Well... dinner is ready when you're through singing. I have not heard that word or that song since.

O....M....G...

I have tears in my eyes from trying not to disrupt others at work with my uncontainable giggling.... that's what I get for bumping at work I guess.

CareBear0607

DD--"Mom, you know a lot about everything!  Dad...he knows a lot about Star Wars." 

shadypines

Great stories ladies. lolol

wheelsonthebus

I love reading all of these!!

DS goes over to his train table and starts taking out pieces of track.

DS: Mommy, build me a freaking track!

Me: DS, That's not how we talk!

DS: Build me a freaking track, PLEASE!

Me: You mean, build me a SILLY track!

DS: Yeah, a silly track

PandaMom06

Last night I was watching tv with the kids when

DD said "Mommy can you have more babies?"

Shocked I said "More babies?! I think Mommy and Daddy are done having babies."

DD "But I want more babies, boy babies!"

 lol I told her that right now it is just her and her brother and because of that they will have more adventures and get to do more stuff.

sunnyday016

The other day DD told my mom she wanted to play "Tag Carrot". She meant "Tag-You're It!" LOL

bunny731

At the bank-cemetary across the street:

DD: Look at those machines, mommy. Are they are building a playground?   

Me: They are building graves.

DD To put flowers in

Me: To put people in

DS Brooklyn (friends cat) died.

DD: How sad-but they can get a new one.

DS: Hey, but do you want to know the best part about dying. You get flowers.

DD: You're right, thank you for remembering that.

Anniekins214

My three year old poked my breasts and asked what was in my shirt. 

 I told her that they are breasts, and I reminded her that they're used to feed babies (as opposed to selling cars and chicken wings, lol).

 She asked if that's why I need a bra.   I told her it was.

She told me she needed a bra.  I explained to her that she'd need one some day, but not now, because she's still a young girl.

 She told me she does have breasts, they're just "teeny, tiny ones".