Sh!t kids say — The Bump

Sh!t kids say

It's been a while since we've had this post. I'll start and please chime in with any recent funnies your LO has said or did.


We are in the market for a new car and I asked DD1 what kind we should get.

DD1: An ice cream truck!  It will play music and you can quit your job and sell ice cream!

We chuckled but for a minute I did entertain the idea of quitting my job for a less stressful career in the ice-cream businessStick out tongue

Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11

Re: Sh!t kids say

  • DD: Mommy, I don't want our baby. I want a different baby.

    Me: What baby would you like?

    DD: I want the Silent Night baby.

    Me: You want to trade in your sister for baby Jesus?

    DD: Yeah.

  • DD2: Jupiter has a spot! 

    Me: Hey, you're right!

    DD2: And Mars has marshmallows.

    Me: Ummmm ...

    DH taught them the word "famished." So last night around dinner time, I start hearing this:

    DD2: I'm starving!

    DD1: I'm famished!

    DD2: I'm famist, too. (Her pronunciation of it cracks me up.)

    DD1: No, *you're* starving and *I'm* famished.

    DD2: I'm famist too!

    DD1: We're both famished, Mama!  


    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
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  • imageuconnhuskie007:

    The other day my daughter decided she wanted to windex her mirror.  She tried to spray the trigger and nothing came out.  She then explained "Mommy!  I need your help.  This piece of crap isn't working".  Embarrassed

    I need to watch what I say a LOT more closely!

    OMG....LOL. Projectile tea over desk. So freaking funny!

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  • Flash back to August 2012...

    Me: How was your first day of pre-kindergarten?

    DS: I listened to directions, obeyed the rules, now I'm in 1st grade.


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  • These are a great afternoon laugh.

    Emmy-I think that is one for the baby book

    Uconn & Fred- I know it's wrong but when kids cuss it's Effin' hysterical!

    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
  • imagefredalina:
    I think I posted this on Parenting but it still cracks me up: DD: Mommy, why did the girl say, "Take off the damn hood and look at me" on Spiderman? Me: Well, it's not a very nice word, so she must have been really angry. DD: When I am angry, I can say "damn"? Me: Um, well, no, it's more of a grownup word. This was her first swear word, by the way. A few minutes later she started SINGING "take off the damn hood... take off the damn hood..." so then this happened: Me: Charlotte, that's not a very nice word. I'd rather you sing something else. DD: No, I want to sing "take off the damn hood". Me: Well, if you want to sing it then you can sing it in your room. DD: No, I want to stay here. "Take off the damn hood..." Me: Nope, sorry kiddo. Up you go. Scoot. Five minutes of silence go by, and dinner was ready, so I called her. It was so quiet I was starting to worry she was getting into something. Me: Charlotte! DD: WHAT??? Me: What are you doing? DD: I'm still singing "Take off the damn hood". Me: Well... dinner is ready when you're through singing. I have not heard that word or that song since.


    I have tears in my eyes from trying not to disrupt others at work with my uncontainable giggling.... that's what I get for bumping at work I guess.

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  • DD--"Mom, you know a lot about everything!  Dad...he knows a lot about Star Wars." 
    DD~6 years old~born June 6, 2008 (1st grade)
    DS~4 years old~born November 6, 2010 (1st year of preschool)
  • Great stories ladies. lolol



  • I love reading all of these!!

    DS goes over to his train table and starts taking out pieces of track.

    DS: Mommy, build me a freaking track!

    Me: DS, That's not how we talk!

    DS: Build me a freaking track, PLEASE!

    Me: You mean, build me a SILLY track!

    DS: Yeah, a silly track

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  • Last night I was watching tv with the kids when

    DD said "Mommy can you have more babies?"

    Shocked I said "More babies?! I think Mommy and Daddy are done having babies."

    DD "But I want more babies, boy babies!"

     lol I told her that right now it is just her and her brother and because of that they will have more adventures and get to do more stuff.


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  • The other day DD told my mom she wanted to play "Tag Carrot". She meant "Tag-You're It!" LOL
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15

  • At the bank-cemetary across the street:

    DD: Look at those machines, mommy. Are they are building a playground?   

    Me: They are building graves.

    DD To put flowers in

    Me: To put people in

    DS Brooklyn (friends cat) died.

    DD: How sad-but they can get a new one.

    DS: Hey, but do you want to know the best part about dying. You get flowers.

    DD: You're right, thank you for remembering that.

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  • My three year old poked my breasts and asked what was in my shirt. 

     I told her that they are breasts, and I reminded her that they're used to feed babies (as opposed to selling cars and chicken wings, lol).

     She asked if that's why I need a bra.   I told her it was.

    She told me she needed a bra.  I explained to her that she'd need one some day, but not now, because she's still a young girl.

     She told me she does have breasts, they're just "teeny, tiny ones".  

    "Cool as Hell like e-mail, but still timeless like a letter."
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