Terrified of Getting Pregnant Again

DS is now five weeks old and doing great. I love him so much already. But now that he is here and I am getting ready to go on BC I am terrified. I am so afraid that I am going to get pregnant again. With everything that has happened I am not sure that I can go through another pregnancy. Ever. I know that some people say that and then want more kids later on but right now I cannot even imagine getting pregnant again. This fear is so great I have talked with H about getting a vasectomy. But at the same time I don't want to permanently cut off our chances of having another baby in the future. 

I have tried all different kinds of BC, but the hormones in them make me go literally INSANE. I am not the same person while I am on them, I am crazy, jealous, emotional, depressed, and a laundry list of other symptoms. I haven't been on BC for five years because of this. 

I have looked into different kinds of BC and just feel so overwhelmed. DH and I talked about me getting an IUD but reading about some of the side effects scares me even more. I just don't know what to do. I know that I need to be on BC but I feel like I have to choose between being a woman that even I can't stand to be around and risking another pregnancy.

I need some help and insight, am I the only one who feels this way? What BC methods do you use? 

Re: Terrified of Getting Pregnant Again

  • I was also terrified after DS1 and it took a long time but eventually i started to want another pregnancy and now I have another newborn. I'd advise against anything permanent because when you're still in the trenches, in my experience, it seems impossible you'd ever want to try again, but time and healing may change your mind, or not, but you can always do something permanet later.

    I also have issues with the hormonal birth control. I would not choose that route, esp with all you're dealing with in preemie land. Personally we just use condoms. I hate that we have to, but it has been the best choice for us so I feel like myself and yet we have non permanent protection. 

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  • I guess I feel the opposite. My LO was born at 33w4d and is 8 days old today. My husband is a doctor and he said he doesn't think he can go through that again. I feel like I got cheated and didn't get to enjoy my full pregnancy. I truly loved being pregnant and was lucky enough to have a very smooth pregnancy. I think once we get her home I'll see how DH feels, but I'm ready to be pregnant again!
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  • I am totally with Meganmv! I was only pregnant for 6 months and everything was perfect! I feel cheated out of the last three months. I never even got into maternity clothes. I am lucky though because I know what caused my early labor and there is a procedure to keep it from happening again. I think if you do something permanent you will regret it. Good luck with everything I hope you find a solution!
  • Right after I brought DD#1 home I was terrified like you to ever get pregnant again. My OB put me on the mini pill (because I was EPing) and I stayed with it for about 6 months. I say around the year mark my feelings started to change and after consulting with another doctor and changing practices, we decided to give pregnancy another try. But for those months between the mini pill and deciding, I just charted and we used condoms.

    Good luck. 




  • I felt the same way. I had a high-risk pregnancy (which I had no clue beforehand that I would have). I was in and out of the hospital multiple times, had heavy bleeding throughout the pregnancy, and was on bed rest throughout almost the entire pregnancy. DS was born at 33wk 6 days and, thankfully, had no health issues and is thriving today at 3 months old. But that pregnancy was enough to scare DH and I out of having another biological child. DH got a vasectomy before the year was over. We did a lot of talking about it and there is no way we'd go through that again, and I did not want to take BC. He was fine with getting a vasectomy, so that is what we did. At this point, I don't regret it and don't think that I ever will. Does it suck that I won't have another biological child? Yes, but for me, I don't want to go through another pregnancy that was that hard and I also don't want to risk having another preemie that might not be as fortunate as DS has been healthwise. And I would likely have another complicated pregnancy, if I were to get pregnant again (I have a bicornuate uterus)

    I recommend talk to you OB about the different BC options and talk with your husband about what is best for your situation. 

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  • Thank you all for the help, I appreciate it. I went into the Dr. today for my check up and I just decided on the spot to go with the Paraguard. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, except for the "little" pinch on my cervix. And the fact that DH thought it would be funny to have the Dr. play a joke on me when I took my pregnancy test. He walked in after checking it and said, "Do you want the good news or the bad news first." I almost threw up on DH, but it was kind of funny I suppose. 
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