Predicament

fivefeetsmall

My best friend and Mom are jointly hosting my shower. The shower is being held at my best friends sister's house.. Who is also my friend. Anyhow, one has a 3 year old daughter and the other a 2 year old daughter. They plan to have their girls at the shower. My cousin has a 7yr old, 5 yr old, and 2 yr old. This 2 yr old happens to be a little more active than the average and my friend has stated she's not real comfortable with him being there to me. This cousin is more like a sister and spends the holidays with us rather than her parents. I can't not invite her, besides I want her there. I also can't tell her that her son isn't invited and crush her feelings. Since their girls will be there it would be odd if the put no kids on the invite. I have no clue what to do.

EastCoastBride

Honestly, I'd tell my host that it needs to be all or none.  She doesn't want he 2 year old? Fine, then NO kids, including hers. 

Happy2BPregnant

I hate these kind of situations.  This one is tricky.  I would try talking to the person hosting the shower about it and explain your feelings.  

If she is adamant about the little boy not being there, then let her be the bad guy and say no children.

1026pumpkin

I do think it's rude that a host would invite some children and not others, but it's really up to your host.  Could you gently suggest to your host that it would be more polite to have an all or nothing policy about kids...or could the dads (or a babysitter) keep the kids occupied in a different area with a movie and some snacks so they're not running around?

rhubarb123

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, I'd tell my host that it needs to be all or none.  She doesn't want he 2 year old? Fine, then NO kids, including hers. 

I agree with this.  Honestly, how can a host really host if her own kids are there?  I've hosted a lot of showers but I've never had my kids at them.  I either left them with my DH, my Mom or a babysitter.

gimmietimmies

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, I'd tell my host that it needs to be all or none.  She doesn't want he 2 year old? Fine, then NO kids, including hers. 

Yep, this. If she squacks, tell her to get a babysitter in to manage the kids or else they aren't coming.

ggatlanta

Happy2BPregnant:

If she is adamant about the little boy not being there, then let her be the bad guy and say no children.

The hostesses are giving you a gift, so it's tough for you to say, "You must invite my friend's child or else."  A tricky spot indeed...

I vote for the above advice. Tell your hostess that you are so grateful for the shower and could she please let Susie know she can't bring her little boy.

Later when Susie sees there are other children there, she may be offended, but it won't be your fault. If she brings it up to you, you can always say you don't know the reasoning: something like "weird, maybe they changed their minds about kids but forgot to spread the word... but anyway, how are you???"