How do you put LO to bed at night?

drvst8

So DD had her 4 month check up today. We've been having some trouble sleeping at night. She hasn't wanted to eat much so she hasn't been sleeping good at night. I figured it was because she was starting to teethe and it would get better. The Pedi asked how we put her down to sleep at night. I told her I put her down after her bottle and she is usually passed out by then. So she is totally asleep. She told us we should really start to sleep train her. Put her down sleepy but not asleep. If she cries let her and let her self soothe. So that means if she is sleep we should wake her a little to but her to bed.

We tried it today for a nap....and she cried so hard I couldn't take it. It took her so long to calm down. I'm not sure I can do it. I'm not really into the CIO method at all. Is there something else I can do?

What are the rest of you doing? And at what  age did you let your LO self soothe?

TnG05

At that age he feel asleep nursing so I put him down sleep.  He still didn't sleep through the night but I didn't mind.  Eventually we started putting him in there awake if he was sleepy and we were sure he wasn't hungry.  Sometimes he went to sleep other times he whined and we got him.  I don't think we formally did any training but now I can put him down if I know he's tired and most times he'll go right to sleep.  All that to say at night he's drowsy or sleep after nursing.  

He started self soothing around 4 months, he decided he didn't want his pacifier anymore and started sucking his fingers.

crystalknpp

I personally couldn't do the CIO method.  One thing we did was try to get B on a routine fairly early on.  Our bedtime routine is the same time every night.  He gets a bath, clean diaper, lavender lotion, PJ's,Halo Sleep Sack (used to be swaddle) bottle while being rocked in the glider and then we put him down awake with his mobile running and some white noise or lullabies.  We do all of this with only his night light on.  We used to give him his binky when we put him in his crib but since he discovered his hands he self soothes by sucking on them.  I will let him squirm and fuss but never really full on cry.  If he starts crying I will go in his nursery, offer his binky and rub his back but I do not pick him up.

FmrAFBrat

Early on DS fell asleep nursing, but by the time he was around 5 or 6 months I was able to pick up cues on when he was tired.  He usurally would just suck his fingers or roll around in his crib until he passed out.  

Junebug060609

4 months is on the low end of the CIO recommendations (Ferber anyways).  We did do Ferber, but not until 6 months.  There are other options.  The No Cry Sleep Solution comes to mind, and I know there are others.

What I wish we'd done at 4 months was to establish a bedtime routine (Now we do bath, pjs, teeth, book, milk, bed).  Having that in place helped him to figure out that this is bedtime, we do the big sleep now.  We got that in place around 5 months and did Ferber at 6 months.  FWIW, your reaction to the cries is totally normal.  It was the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent...but also one of the most necessary for us.  Overall it's made a huge difference in both his napping and overnight sleep.  Before we did Ferber I usually nursed him to sleep and he often napped on me.

drvst8

crystalknpp:

I personally couldn't do the CIO method.  One thing we did was try to get B on a routine fairly early on.  Our bedtime routine is the same time every night.  He gets a bath, clean diaper, lavender lotion, PJ's,Halo Sleep Sack (used to be swaddle) bottle while being rocked in the glider and then we put him down awake with his mobile running and some white noise or lullabies.  We do all of this with only his night light on.  We used to give him his binky when we put him in his crib but since he discovered his hands he self soothes by sucking on them.  I will let him squirm and fuss but never really full on cry.  If he starts crying I will go in his nursery, offer his binky and rub his back but I do not pick him up.

She has been a routine for awhile now. I wanted to start that really early because I knew I would be going back to work and wanted something to stay regular for her. She hates the binky but loves her hands. We still swaddle and have white noise too. So I guess I just need to figure out a way to not pick her up.

crystalknpp

drvst8:

She has been a routine for awhile now. I wanted to start that really early because I knew I would be going back to work and wanted something to stay regular for her. She hates the binky but loves her hands. We still swaddle and have white noise too. So I guess I just need to figure out a way to not pick her up.

The only other thing is maybe the time you are putting her to bed?  When we first transitioned to his crib and started a routine B was going to bed at 10pm.  It gradually got earlier and earlier but we followed his Q's.  We would notice he would get really fussy, suck on his hands alot, or try to roll over to his left side like he does when he goes to bed.  Now his bed time is around 8 o'clock but if we put him to bed much later than that he's really cranky and it takes more of an effort to get him to fall asleep. 

drvst8

We've tried moving her bedtime too. Up and back. She usually starts to get ready around 8 and is asleep around 830 or 9. That seems to be the time that works...or at least it did. Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate all the help!

drvst8

Junebug060609:

4 months is on the low end of the CIO recommendations (Ferber anyways).  We did do Ferber, but not until 6 months.  There are other options.  The No Cry Sleep Solution comes to mind, and I know there are others.

What I wish we'd done at 4 months was to establish a bedtime routine (Now we do bath, pjs, teeth, book, milk, bed).  Having that in place helped him to figure out that this is bedtime, we do the big sleep now.  We got that in place around 5 months and did Ferber at 6 months.  FWIW, your reaction to the cries is totally normal.  It was the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent...but also one of the most necessary for us.  Overall it's made a huge difference in both his napping and overnight sleep.  Before we did Ferber I usually nursed him to sleep and he often napped on me.

 I thought 4 months was kind of early too. I was going to wait till closer to 6 months. But after her pedi talked about it today I thought maybe I was just being a overprotective FTM. I guess what I need to do is whatever works best for the 3 of us. I know eventually she needs to put herself to sleep and I think she would sleep better if she did i'm just not sure she is ready. Thanks for the advice I appreciate it!

D&D4Ever7

My son is 15 months and was same as your DD for a long time. After going through this, I don't recommend sleep training at 4 months. You should wait for a little longer, maybe 6 months. Babies get much better at self soothing as they grow. I didn't sleep train because I nurse to sleep until 14months. I didn't have the heart. When we did ST, it was surprisingly easier than I thought. Since babies change so much in short time, they may have hard time with ST earlier on, but it doesn't last forever. Now, I just lay my son in his crib at 8 totally awake and he falls sleep with any fuss. I never thought this was possible. Just want to give you some hope. GL

bmv1980

I'm still nursing until G's asleep and then putting her into her bassinet already sleeping. I know we should help her self soothe, but I can't wake her up. They're still so small, I figure we've got some time still : GL!

LoveOfMikesLife

I still nurse DS to sleep. He's almost 6 months. Then when I pick him up from my lap to lay him down I slightly wake him some, ya know the drunk milk face. Then lay him down for him to go back to sleep. 

 

tbone_bride

I nursed my DD to sleep till a year! Follow your gut, CIO was never right or me either, I couldn't do it. We did the sleep lady method and it sort of worked. My son is 3 months and I am probably going to start the method sooner, maybe in the next month or so. But if he falls asleep nursing I will never wake him. Think about how you feel when you fall asleep and someone wakes you. It's not fun, esp if you get all worked up then its harder to fall asleep. Sometimes doctors don't give the best sleep advice, in my opinion. Good luck, you'll find what works for you.

awesnap

Junebug060609:

4 months is on the low end of the CIO recommendations Ferber anyways.nbsp; We did do Ferber, but not until 6 months.nbsp; There are other options.nbsp; The No Cry Sleep Solution comes to mind, and I know there are others.What I wish we'd done at 4 months was to establish a bedtime routine Now we do bath, pjs, teeth, book, milk, bed.nbsp; Having that in place helped him to figure out that this is bedtime, we do the big sleep now.nbsp; We got that in place around 5 months and did Ferber at 6 months.nbsp; FWIW, your reaction to the cries is totally normal.nbsp; It was the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent...but also one of the most necessary for us.nbsp; Overall it's made a huge difference in both his napping and overnight sleep.nbsp; Before we did Ferber I usually nursed him to sleep and he often napped on me.

All of this. I could not sleep train at 4 months and she woke up many times a night. At 6 months we had to sleep train because she was getting worse and it seemed like she really didnt know how to get herself back to sleep. It was so hard for me but she figured it out in two days! And it really was the best thing for her and me both. She was more alert and less whiny during thethe day with longer sleep cycles or not fully waking.

ellebelle2384

tbone_bride:

I nursed my DD to sleep till a year! Follow your gut, CIO was never right or me either, I couldn't do it. We did the sleep lady method and it sort of worked. My son is 3 months and I am probably going to start the method sooner, maybe in the next month or so. But if he falls asleep nursing I will never wake him. Think about how you feel when you fall asleep and someone wakes you. It's not fun, esp if you get all worked up then its harder to fall asleep. Sometimes doctors don't give the best sleep advice, in my opinion. Good luck, you'll find what works for you.

This.  DD is a year old and I still nurse her to sleep most nights.  CIO is not for us but I know ST works well for some.  But 4 months is on the low end of the ST recommendations, even in the Ferber book he suggests waiting until closer to 6 months.  I really don't listen to doctor's for sleep advice.  Only you know what is best for your family.  Also, at 4 months our bedtime was around 9:30.  It slowly moved up and now she's in bed around 8.  We just followed cues and started a routine around 3-4 months.  That was incredibly helpful in helping her anticipate what should come next (sleep).  GL! 

cmumama

I have been very lucky with LO lately...

Change diaper, put in pj's, give a bottle, hang out for a few min keeping him upright, head upstairs to his room, give gas drops, swaddle (using escape proof method), sing and sway for a min or two, put in crib with paci and FP aquarium and seahorse turned on.

Sometimes he fusses, which requires replacing paci.  Other times he watches his seahorse and drifts off to sleep.  He is awake when I put him down.

My pedi told us to start self soothing too when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  I still get up and replace his paci.  I have cut out MOTN feeding.

JulyMomma2U2

We transitioned to this before he was 3 months old because I wanted him to have this ability before I went back to work.. and, lucky for us, DS initially took to it REALLY well.. I would say the first month, I could count on one hand the number of times he cried before falling asleep..and, it was more of a whiney cry, not a scream.. he was wonderful.  Then, around 4 months, he switched and started screaming when we'd put him in.. I didn't understand what changed?  Still, i'm not sure I know why that month was tough!  But, we would put him down.. he'd be fine for about 5 minutes, then he'd start crying.. if it escalated to screaming DH or I went in, and put the pacifier in, soothed him, etc.. he would ALWAYS stop the second one of us walked in the room (he'd hear us open his door and instantly stop.. little buggar).. and, we never would pick him up once we put him down.. (but, because DS stopped when we'd walk in, that never really was an issue).. anyway, we did this for most of month 4.. it would take about 15 minutes from the time we initially laid him down until the time he went to sleep.. eventually we started putting him down just a little bit earlier (7:30, instead of 8p), and that seemed to help SO much.. now, he's back to we lay him in the crib.. he looks at his seahorse, maybe will fuss for a couple of seconds (fuss, not crying) and then just goes to sleep.. it's glorious!

D&D4Ever7

missbea3:

We transitioned to this before he was 3 months old because I wanted him to have this ability before I went back to work.. and, lucky for us, DS initially took to it REALLY well.. I would say the first month, I could count on one hand the number of times he cried before falling asleep..and, it was more of a whiney cry, not a scream.. he was wonderful.nbsp; Then, around 4 months, he switched and started screaming when we'd put him in.. I didn't understand what changed?nbsp; Still, i'm not sure I know why that month was tough!nbsp; But, we would put him down.. he'd be fine for about 5 minutes, then he'd start crying.. if it escalated to screaming DH or I went in, and put the pacifier in, soothed him, etc.. he would ALWAYS stop the second one of us walked in the room he'd hear us open his door and instantly stop.. little buggar.. and, we never would pick him up once we put him down.. but, because DS stopped when we'd walk in, that never really was an issue.. anyway, we did this for most of month 4.. it would take about 15 minutes from the time we initially laid him down until the time he went to sleep.. eventually we started putting him down just a little bit earlier 7:30, instead of 8p, and that seemed to help SO much.. now, he's back to we lay him in the crib.. he looks at his seahorse, maybe will fuss for a couple of seconds fuss, not crying and then just goes to sleep.. it's glorious!

I am guessing you may have experienced 4 month wakeful period