relations (kinda bummer post )

2moms2twins

It seems like so many of our friends are breaking up.  GAH ...

We know at least 5 of our friends who have split up.  This makes me so sad. When We first started dating people thought we were never going o make and here we are 11 years later we are going string ( its hard work at times) but so many of our friends have just walked away or split or cheated and it leaves us in a odd predicament because we are still their friends but now individually. No matter what we just want our friends to be happy but some of them have kids and few are much younger than us so maybe that is it.  I am not sure what I am getting at just that it makes me sad and I feel bad. Moreover, it makes me evaluate my relationship because I would be devastated and our policy is DIVORCE is not an option but we also know hings happen so this makes me scared because I know I have fallen short in areas and I feel bad for that and I try to pick it up but its hard.

Another thing is a few of them left their partners and are now dating men- I dont have a problem with this at all i just want them to be happy but it just seems odd.

 

 

2moms2b

I am sorry you are dealing with this.  It's really hard.  M and I were just having this conversation the other day as it seems like our few LGBT friends that were in relationships are now living the single life after ending 5+ year relationships. A couple were like one day things were fine (as far as we all knew) and the next it got ugly fast.  We as well just want to them be happy but it's awkward for us as we are starting a family and settled down and sometimes feel torn between the two parties. Plus our priorities are with each other and our boys so I am so anti drama right now.

As far as dating men, M's best friend (like absolutely bestie) was in a lesbian relationship for 9 years and is now married to an amazing man and they have a 1 year old.  I will admit though her ex was horrible to her for the last several years and when she left she didn't go looking for a male relationship.  She met him and it just grew.   I think sexuality is much more fluid than we give it credit for but that is a completely different topic. 

Our philosophy is we don't give up on us until every option has been exhausted especially now with kids soon to arrive.  We also work very hard to have open and clear communication about the good, bad and ugly so we are always aware of how the other one is feeling.   I am not saying we don't argue or have rough spots as we have had our share but here we are almost 10 years later going strong.   No one thought we would make it as I was only 19 when we met but like I said we committed to making this work and so far we have. I feel like there are so many outside forces against our relationship in general, that if we don't fight like h3ll for it then we are doing ourselves and our community a dis-justice.

I have come to realize that some of the break ups were for the absolute best as one partner was killing themselves to make it work while the other just took advantage. Therefore only one was finding any shred of happiness. And will admit that the friends we have maintained is generally only one of the two people not both.  We have one ex-couple that we are friends with both still but that is because that was an amicable breakup and they are actually friends. They simply realized one day they were roommates living together no longer committed to their relationship.

I wish I had some better words of comfort so I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone in your feelings. 

2moms2twins

yes its just so crazy. I also notice that most of the couple are much younger and was wondering if that has anything to do with it.  Seems like many are just playing house - if that makes sense. I feel bad for saying that but ... I dunno.