I feel so stupid

babyrossman

I'm a first time mom at 14 weeks and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing already. I'm reading these posts and everyone is making PLANS and I have no idea how to do this. 

I'm giving birth in a military hospital and my OB is a midwife. Unfortunately this means whoever is on staff will be the one delivering my baby. What if the birth plan I make with my midwife isn't transferred to this new doctor? When I am in labor I doubt the last thing I will be doing is spouting off orders to the staff telling them I want a natural birth, no hep shot etc etc etc.

I want to be my own advocate, but I'm getting very discouraged. How do I make sure everything is done the way I want it to be done?

briannabeebug

babyrossman:

I'm a first time mom at 14 weeks and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing already. I'm reading these posts and everyone is making PLANS and I have no idea how to do this. 

I'm giving birth in a military hospital and my OB is a midwife. Unfortunately this means whoever is on staff will be the one delivering my baby. What if the birth plan I make with my midwife isn't transferred to this new doctor? When I am in labor I doubt the last thing I will be doing is spouting off orders to the staff telling them I want a natural birth, no hep shot etc etc etc.

I want to be my own advocate, but I'm getting very discouraged. How do I make sure everything is done the way I want it to be done?

I would hire a doula that you trust.  Having someone that knows your birth plan and is pretty fairly educated in the birth process would definitely help you to relax and not feel as if you have to enforce your birth plan.

With that being said sometimes birth doesn't go the way it's planned and we have to be flexible to make sure everyone (including you!) is safe and happy and thriving.

beany02

keep a copy of your birth plan in your hospital bag so that you have it with you when you get to the hospital. Give a copy to the nurse. They may do their best to honor it, or they may ignore it, but it might give you peace of mind to know that you have it there. I agree with hiring a doula to be your advocate, that will definitely take a lot of the stress of this off you

irishsweetheart83

I know very much how you feel, i was in the same situation. keep your birth plan with you. also if you can hire a doula. just remember you can refuse anything. you should also look into a bradley class that is what got me through it, it also taught my husband how to advocate for me. it is hard when you are in pain to say no i dont want an epidural but trust me you will be thankful in the end. 

 

MrsBigTime

First, relax! You have plenty of time to plan

I think the most important thing resource you can have is a supportive partner who is on the same page as you and can act as an advocate should you be unable to. Be it your husband, SO or doula, if they know your main wishes and desires, they can help you have the birth you are hoping for when there are so many unknowns. 

I don't know how it works in your specific hospital, but with the practice I saw, there were up to 8 different Midwives I could deliver with, and if I had needed an OB, I would have had no contact with them prior to delivery. However, if everyone is working within the same practice they should have access to your chart and your primary MW can make a detailed plan that every can reference if they end up being present for you delivery.

I'd talk with your MW about your hospital's standard practices. Be sure to discuss areas in which veering off the "norm" is OK and areas that prove to be more difficult to get around. Then, decide what things you are really hoping for in your birth experience and maybe make a "this is not ideal, but not that bad either" birth plan in case you deliver with a provider that may not be as supportive of your wishes should they be more outside the normal realm for their practice. Does that makes sense?

Above all though, enjoy yourself and give yourself a break! You have a lot of pregnancy left to savor, don't worry too much yet about the end, the middle is so sweet! 

bripratt2

I would definitely take some kind of lamaze not offered at a hospital of course but someone who is either dona or cappa certified.  Usually it is recommended that you take the initiative to type out your own copy of your birth plan and post it where everyone can see it.  I was also taught to put my birth coach incharge of handing out orders lol.  But if you take a good class or read enough books you should be able to acquire all the knowledge youll need.  Congratulations! and good luck! Its seriously not the horror story people make it out to be.

dreadiemama

briannabeebug:

I would hire a doula that you trust.  Having someone that knows your birth plan and is pretty fairly educated in the birth process would definitely help you to relax and not feel as if you have to enforce your birth plan.

With that being said sometimes birth doesn't go the way it's planned and we have to be flexible to make sure everyone (including you!) is safe and happy and thriving.

This, or maybe not hire a doula, but have someone there that you trust. My husband and I are having issues finding a midwife that we trust. We had a talk about it and he's completely prepared to be my watch dog, making sure that there is no "funny business." It's kind of cute, but also scary how much research he is doing about my rights, printing off stuff already to hand the nurses incase they try to bully me into something I don't want.  

I also agree that things happen that are outside of your control. Get some books and research what REALLY is a medical emergency etc. etc. Or after writing all that... maybe it is better to just hire a doula. That's a lot of work.  

Runaway22

MrsBigTime:

First, relax! You have plenty of time to plan

This!  Though, other PPs gave excellent advice, too