Preparing for a new baby!

mommy0411

Hi ladies! I know many of you have more then one child so I am hoping you can help me!

We are expecting our second son at the beginning of May and I am starting to really worry about how the transition is going to affect my DS 1. He has both a receptive and expressive speech delay (only at about a 12 month level in speech), SPD and low muscle tone. He is 21 months and will be exactly 2 when the new baby comes. We started getting his diagnoses when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. 

I have ordered a couple of really simple board books about taking care of and loving a new baby and I am also going to get him a doll so we can start introducing the idea of a baby. His receptive language is so low I can't just point to a baby and say "that's a baby" and have him understand. Is there anything else you would recommend to help prepare him for a baby.

I am also concerned because he really struggles with transitions and I am worried he is going to be really upset when I have to feed or attend to the newborn and can't attend to his needs immediately. Luckily he is generally a very happy child and whenever he has seen babies he is fascinated and very gentle with them!

Any advice about having two kids when one has special needs would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! 

mopdop2000

My oldest son is (mostly) typical - has ADHD but I don't think that affected him much as a 2yr old. He had a rough time when his baby brother was born, and I got creative about giving him things to do while I nursed the baby. Many of my friends expereinced the same jealousies etc with their totally neruo-typical kids, so try to remember that having a new sibling is hard for all kids. Maybe you could start counting to 10, then 20, then 30 etc when he needs something now, as a way of helping him learn to wait sometimes before he gets what he wants/needs?

malcivar

Wow, eerily similar situations.  We got our first PDD dx when I was roughly 12 weeks pregnant too.  Chris was 2 1/2 when his brother was born and has very similar speech delays.  He speaks in scripts mostly these days and echolalia (tv and games or anything you say to him).  He knew the word "baby" and could recognize one if he saw one (specifically the baby on the box of diapers or the box of wipes).  DH had high hopes that there'd be some major interaction when new baby arrived.  I was worried, like you, that he wouldn't take well to this new dynamic in your home.  Well, neither of us were right - Chris pretty much ignored his brother for the first couple of months.  Eventually we got him to be able to say his name.  We would point and say "who's this" and he'd respond with the baby's name.  

But it wasn't until the baby was more interactive that the fun started - he will randomly kiss the baby or say "Hi Lucas" and now will seek him out for interaction.  

So I think you're on the right track with teaching him what a baby is, etc. I would say don't force it - let him slowly build into interacting with this new family member and you should be good.  Crying (the new baby) can be a little tricky if your son has noise issues.  Chris just thought it was funny and would imitate him but we taught him that laughing is not the appropriate response but he'll still make these funny crying sounds imitating his brother.  Baby steps, right?  

Good luck and congratulations!