So I need a new abbreviation

Ginlyn0

what should one call their brother's ex-fiance whom is the mother of two of his kids? I cannot call her his fiance anymore. And FB's hiding function does not work well because her stuff kept popping up in my feed because of other mutual friends commenting or liking it. Anyway, here is her post from earlier this evening:

"I hope that no one doubts the love in my heart for (my brother's name), I will always love him! Because of him I have our 2 beautiful kids.. But I want to let everyone I care about know that god has brought someone very amazing and special into our lives. And yes I realize it's been less then 2 months and I still miss him and I really do hope everyone understands and doesn't judge me! I am very excited to see what this future will bring... I am putting it on Facebook because everyone I truly care about is on here and I just hope y'all are happy for me cause I am happy " then she tagged the new guy in the status.

Let's not forget that we JUST had the interment for my brother on Dec. 17th since he was an organ donor and was cremated, it took longer. So it's not even been a month since he's been in his final resting spot.

So what should I call her when I talk about her here? I can't say SIL because I have one of those from him already. And typing out the long description is annoying.  Suggestions?

CFjo2010

wendilea:

How about codependent slut CDS?

This.

Or heartless wench HW.

In all seriousness, I am truly sorry for you, your family and those kids. I hope this woman's need to fill the void doesn't have a detrimental impact on the kids. What a nightmare.

Hopeforthebest

CDS/TW/BSC --- those are all so accurate.

If you are looking for something more tame maybe N/NM nephew/niece mom?!

 

Littlejen22

auntie:

BSC would work here.
TW for trainwreck is appropriate as well.
You don't have to limit yourself to a single SIL from any one sib. I have 2 BIL one on each side with 3 marriages each. It's simpler just to use their given names or identify them in the context ofnbsp;their children.

But remember he was still married to the SIL, this woman was his fianc and having his kids.

Gin, do you want to use "ex" because she is moving on too fast or because your brother passed away? If it is the second the. Still use FI but for the first I vote for something like HW for heartless whore.

Phantomgirl

ExFi - maybe?

karatechrissy

heartless wench HW works for me. I thought heartless the second I read it. Sorry... you don't just 'move on' 2 moths later... maybe you do. Maybe it's a different way to grieve. I just can't wrap my head around that at all though. It would take me a very long time to move on from something like that. I'm sorry you are going through this :-(

CFjo2010

-auntie-:

That's why calling them by their names- Marte or Marilyn works. Adding a modifier as in "Eric's mom Marte" for those who need clarification works.

I think Gin meant she wasn't sure what to call her on this Board.  For the most part we all avoid using full names of people and just use some sort of abbreviation. 

Ginlyn0

Off board, I call her by her name to anyone, just like I always have.

I just don't feel like referring to her as his FI anymore since she's not, both because he died and because she obviously has a new guy. That's why I asked for suggestions.

It's a frustrating situation for sure and I'm really trying to stay neutral to her as much as I can. I have liked or commented on pics of the kids only. I haven't texted her because I don't want her talking to me about some guy.

She posted this morning that she was finally going to the Social Security office. But this is why it still bothers me, if you are still sorting out everything from your FI's death, perhaps it's not the best time to move on.

kali55

wendilea:

How about codependent slut (CDS)?

This made me choke on my tea!

twister22

I definitely think she is moving on WAY too fast, and is being selfish - I cannot imagine this would be good for the kids. With that being said, people grieve in all sorts of crazy ways. It's not uncommon for someone to seek intimacy after the death of a family member/loved one. Do I think it's right? Heck no. I'd be PISSED if a SIL did that after my brother died, hypothetically speaking (neither brother is married.)