Insulting or super nice

EVA116

We had my DH's 30th bday party on Saturday. He got a bunch of bottles of booze and a tie for gifts....standard 30th gifts.

But one friend, his best man, gave him a hundred dollar bill....just pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to him.

Now I know that he does well, better than my DH but the look on my H's face wasn't the happiest. I haven't said anything about it but when we got home, H was drunk....he handed it to me and said "I don't want it....do what you want with it."

Insulting or not?

 

Bateaulover

I'm not sure what their relationship is like, but if my best friend gave me a hundred bucks for my birthday I would grin like a jackass and say THANK YOU!

EVA116

emkatrine:

Like he pulled it out of his pocket like he had set it aside for him, but forgot to put it in a birthday card?

Or he opened his wallet and was like "here's $100, buy yourself something nice."?

This. Only he was like "Happy Birthday man" and had it in his hand when they shook hands.

jorkz821

emkatrine:

Like he pulled it out of his pocket like he had set it aside for him, but forgot to put it in a birthday card? Or he opened his wallet and was like "here's 100, buy yourself something nice."?

Yeah, this. Since when do dudes give each other bday gifts?

Mrs.adambabycakes

gwinnygirl:

I'm going to go with tacky.

This. Plus it sounds flauntydon't think that's a word but I'm going with it, like he knew it would get a rise out of your DH. I don't think there is anything bad about giving money as a gift but the way the friend went about doing it was dumb.
ETA: mobile doesn't like punctuation apparently.

LadyXaverian

Awkward, tacky, but not necessarily insulting. I would probably try give it back, to be honest. Maybe that's tacky of me.

EVA116

SarahL77:

Awkward, tacky, but not necessarily insulting. I would probably try give it back, to be honest. Maybe that's tacky of me.

H did but stopped because people started looking and I think H got embarassed so he just put it in his pocket.

EVA116

SarahL77:

Awkward, tacky, but not necessarily insulting. I would probably try give it back, to be honest. Maybe that's tacky of me.

H did but stopped because people started looking and I think H got embarassed so he just put it in his pocket.

KJmashup

This makes my forehead wrinkle; therefore, it's awkward/tacky. $100 is awesome, don't get me wrong, but the presentation of it was...off.

klondikebar

I vote awkward and tacky.

tarebear9891

Is it possible the guy didn't realize he was supposed to bring a gift so he pulled out whatever was in his wallet? He might have seen everyone else giving your DH things and got embarrassed.

Prime

If one of my friends pulled this I would be pissed.  That is a douche move.

lrn327

Tacky to women, yes, but probably wasn't intended to be insulting.  My BIL did this to MH once.  I thought it was weird at the time but have since seen it a couple more times.  I think most men just don't like to shop or have to find a card.

CinemaGoddess

I would not look a gift horse in the mouth. 

mammersoh

My dad who is single, gave my DH cash at our wedding with no card. Like congrats, shook his hand and handed him the money and said he forgot to get a card. On Christmas as well he gave me two visa gift cards that he said were for the boys and again no card. I think some guys just don't think cards are something they need to have? I'm only taking this position since my own father seems to be doing it and I know he's just clueless. Otherwise I'd probably side eye it.

seahorse102410

It sounds like this friend is a little awkward?  I really don't think a card would've helped. 

CinemaGoddess

mbenit4:

CinemaGoddess:

I would not look a gift horse in the mouth. 

I guess I am just slow. I don't get the douchey or insulting part of it. I would have said "thanks" and kept it pushing.

Exactly. 

MommaG123

tarebear9891:

Is it possible the guy didn't realize he was supposed to bring a gift so he pulled out whatever was in his wallet? He might have seen everyone else giving your DH things and got embarrassed.

This was my original thought.

Even if he did know to bring a gift it doesn't seem insulting to me.   

Smootchy

sorta weird. My circle of friends would never do that. If someone wanted to drop a $100, they should buy a round of shots/pick up the tab/though money towards the tab etc.

quidditchcapn1120

This is just something my group of friends wouldn't do. Instead, we buy each other dinner or drinks or something.

Since it's a group of guys I just am inclined to think he just is clueless. But the presentation of it seems kind of squicky to me.

LoveBeingAWife33008

I would be stupid happy if I got money like that.

shortstuff15

CinemaGoddess:

mbenit4:

CinemaGoddess:

I would not look a gift horse in the mouth. 

I guess I am just slow. I don't get the douchey or insulting part of it. I would have said "thanks" and kept it pushing.

Exactly. 

I would have to agree here.  Maybe I'm just backwards and socially inept, but I don't get the problem behind it all?  It's a gift.  It's a nice gift.  Say thanks and move on. 

cynnichinny13

$100 is super nice. I can't help but picture the situation being like that scene in Waiting. Douchey nice guy Chad. The handshake move was dickish. Like, here's $100, but I'm giving it to you on the down low so you don't have to be embarrassed that I can afford to give it to you.

eta: I only get that vibe because of your description & how your H took it. If it was one of our friends and DH, we would take it with a smile and a "thanks dude!" 

MrsJakes

I don't see how this would be insulting. It was your husband's 30th birthday, and his best friend did a nice thing.

It sounds like there is more to the story like maybe your husband is insecure about the fact that his best friend makes more money than him. Even if it embarrased him at the party, his reaction to it when you got home was a little weird. 

ETA: I assume they are best friends since he was your husband's best man, and that there was no prior beef between them.

azzyberry

The only thing I find weird is your DH's reaction, this post, and all of the replies.
It was his 30th birthday. His good friend probably wanted to give his something nice/special but unsure of what to get so he gave him a generous amount of money. So what if it wasn't wrapped in a pretty bow or card. Honestly, most men I know don't think to buy cards. The only reason anyone of my DH's friends/family gets a card is because I buy them.
Say thank you and be grateful for your friends.
Sorry for weird formatting...on mobile.

Wufroggy79

BostonKisses2:

A little awkward since it wasn't in a card or something, but I think it was a nice gift!

This.  Some dudes just don't know how to gift give.

Rhomonk

mbenit4:

CinemaGoddess:

I would not look a gift horse in the mouth. 

I guess I am just slow. I don't get the douchey or insulting part of it. I would have said "thanks" and kept it pushing.

Agreed.  The guys I know are more likely to put the money in a envelope and hand it over.  No card.  And I agree with the PP, maybe he forgot a gift, and wanted to give something. 

missmuffin87

Why are adults giving bday gifts to each other in the first place? Who gives a fluck. That's actually probably what the guy was thinking. Like he walks in and is like "oh...it's one of those parties. Now I look like a douche regardless of what I do". 

greeneyed_bride

I'm in the "clueless but trying to be nice" camp. At my brother's wedding this summer, my uncle handed $100 to my brother and also to my sister and to my husband (uncle later told me that he had given "a little something" to my husband because he couldn't find me) - even though it was obviously only a gift-giving occasion for my brother and not for my sister or me. He's always been a generous guy who is maybe a little awkward in social interactions, so we all just figured he was being nice.

I think some guys just aren't good at picking out cards and gifts, so they figure that everyone will appreciate cash.